It's only a minor improvement and not many data points yet, but I noticed that the two times DS had 3 naps instead of 4, that his first stretch of sleep was 3 and 2 hours those two times, instead of his usual 30-60 minutes. But he only got 3 naps cause we were out and he was just fitting it like crazy even though he was super tired. At home, he can go 1 hr 20 minutes max before he's just done (and starts to get cranky around an hour). He's 5.5 months now so.... do you guys think I should try to just keep him up and cranky longer to get down to 3 naps (will that even actually help night sleep??) or listen to him and let him sleep and get 4 naps if that's what it comes out to be? He wont nap any longer than 45 minutes (even on those 3 nap days) so it's not like he's consolidating his naps. And he still wakes every hour at night and needs help, and wants to eat every 2-3 hours overnight (he ate 4x last night after being put down at 630pm - 9:30, 1, 3, 430 and then woke up at 645 for another feed. I feed as a last resort when pacifier and rocking just isn't doing it and he's hysterical. He'll eat and fall right back to sleep so Im guessing he was actually hungry??).
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I don’t know how helpful this is, but DS is 6 months and we reached a breaking point with the 4th nap vs 3 about a week or two ago. DW spent like 40 mins trying to get him to take the 4th nap and he slept for like 15 mins so had to go to bed super early anyway. So we just decided that he needs to do 3 naps from
now on because it was so annoying. So yes, we have been pushing his awake times and it’s been working out better. Now, previously we were at 1:45/2 hrs awake time, not the 1:20 you mentioned, and we’ve stretched to 2 hrs 30 mins. At first it was noticeable that he would get cranky and we would have to carry him around or do something with him to make the time, but he seems ok ish now.
I’m not sure if it’s a coincidence/developmental changes or anything to do with this change, but we are getting longer naps now. Yesterday he did 2 hrs 15 mins! More common is: 45-1 hr, 1.5 hrs and 30-45 mins whereas he had been a 30-45 min napper like 2-3 weeks ago without fail every time. DW has also had some success with extending the short naps now too if he wakes crying. She will pat him or pick up and cradle and sometimes it will get another 30-45.All this to say is yes, based on our trials, I would try longer awake and see what happens after a few days. As well, does he nap in a carrier or stroller? Some days when it’s not working, we will take him out and get a 30 min from him without any extra effort.
ETA: DW just said that often our son would get fussy around an hour/1.5 of awake but then move past it and be fine in a few mins. Maybe yours is like that too and you actually could get more awake time without crazy fussing?
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Personally I would push the wake times and try 3 naps. The excess fussiness would only last a few days before mine adjusted. I felt like things improved a lot once we dropped that late evening one.
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My kids were definitely in 3 naps by 4.5-5 months, so I'd give it a try for a couple days. 3 naps is so much easier (2 is my sweet spot).
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