Does anyone have a child or know a child that goes by either the first or the middle name. If baby is a boy we are naming it a first name my family all hates with a middle name they all love. But I'm not willing to change the order. My mom is already calling the baby by our middle name pick? What do we do now? Name it our names and let people pick whether to call baby by first name or middle name?
Why can't people just remember that this is our baby and we get to pick the name?
persimmon / 1447 posts
I would name the baby whatever I want and tell people that is his/her name and that is what he/she will be called.
blogger / coconut / 8306 posts
My aunt went by her middle name, and so does my former CW
I'm not sure why either chose to, though!
GOLD / grapefruit / 4555 posts
I don't have an answer for this - but we call little miss by her middle name. We all love her full name but decided that the middle name suited her better for now. She'll grow into her first name. My mother calls her by her first name, as does my father, but my ILs call her by her middle name. When we introduce her to people we tend to say her middle name first then her full name. And we always always get asked "So do you call her X or Y?" Um. Y. The first name I told you.
watermelon / 14206 posts
You just name your baby what you want and kick people when they try to argue it.
That said, my dad goes by his middle name.
coconut / 8234 posts
Name the baby what you want and tell people to call the baby by that name. Don't respond or let them hold the baby if they call him by the other name. They got to name their own kids, butt out!
Ha. As you can tell, I have no patience for things like this. I nipped that in the bud really quickly with my family when we told them LOs name.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
I know a couple of people that go by middle names, but they always did and their parents intended it (like first name was after dad but they didn't want him tone little Mikey). I find it confusing when different people use different names. Name the baby what you want and tell your parents that's all there is.
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
DH goes by his middle name. It is weird, he is a 2nd and his Dad goes by the middle name too.
grapefruit / 4120 posts
Our daughter goes by her middle name and that was always our intention. If she wants to use her first name one day she's more than welcome... we think it's a beautiful name all together!
cantaloupe / 6800 posts
Most of my family uses their middle names, not sure why though. Name it/call it what YOU like!
watermelon / 14206 posts
@Smurfette: My dad goes by his middle name, which is my brother's first name, which he also goes by...I think it's weird, too!
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
@Dandelion: I just don't get it, why didn't they just use the middle name as the first name!
cantaloupe / 6923 posts
Thanks ladies, I will go with my gut and still name it our name pick, and people will have to get used to it. I hate all the drama that comes with pregnancy!
grapefruit / 4213 posts
Some of my older relatives go by their middle names because it's a cultural thing. But if people are choosing to call your baby by the middle name because they don't like the first name you chose then that to me is weird and kind of rude. I'd be upset.
watermelon / 14206 posts
@Smurfette: I don't know why my parents had my brother go by the same name as my dad. They should have named him my dad's whole name and called him by my dad's first name or something. Lots of confusion our entire lives, lol.
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
@anonysquire: I would be pissed too. I just wouldn't respond when they call the baby by the middle name. Make a point to call the baby by his/her first name as often as possible to put it in their head. Are you finding out the sex? Then they have time to get use to the name before the baby is born.
@Dandelion: Not their names, but FIL goes by the short version, say, Alex and DH is Alexander....
pea / 24 posts
My FIL went by his middle name professionally and his first name otherwise... I don't see it different as a family giving the kid a nickname... Unless you don't like nicknames I don't see a problem with it, but if it bothers you then put your foot down... you are the parent and you have that right.
I come from a family that gives any name a nickname (my mom gave her grandson IAN a nickname... because apparently Ian is too long. lol) So it wouldn't bother me, I'm used to the idea that my future children won't ever be called by their names around my family.
pear / 1556 posts
I think that calling a child two different names gets confusing. I do know a lot of people that go by their middle name. With most of them, their first name is a family name, and their parents always intended on calling them by their middle name. If you didn't intend on calling your child by their middle name, I think you should insist that family, friends, etc. call your child by their first name. It's your child, and you should be able to name them what you want to!
watermelon / 14206 posts
@Smurfette: Same here! My dad is Jeff, while my brother is Jeffrey, lol
cantaloupe / 6923 posts
@Smurfette: No, not finding out the sex. That's why it also irks me that my mom is calling the baby our boy middle name. Like it could be a girl! Ugh!
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
A good friend of mine used his middle name growing up because his first name was very similar to his father's. All of his college buddies, myself included, use his first name.
cantaloupe / 6923 posts
So should I name the name how I want and just let baby choose when they are older what name they go by? Or let me family choose what they want to call baby?
pomelo / 5220 posts
My cousin has always gone by his middle name. My other cousin's husband does too.
Regardless, I think you should name the baby what you want and introduce the child as the name your would like it known as. Plenty of kids grow up and stop wanting to be know by a certain name or nickname and they just transition to the other name in HS or college (ex my brother's friend was Billy for his whole life until college, then he was Will)
coconut / 8305 posts
How rude!!! I would name my child what I liked. I'd also be sure to correct people & expect them to call them by that name.... Ie. We don't let people call P "Penny" & I had no problem pointing out that wasn't her name.
Sorry you're dealing with that with your family. I'd just stop sharing/having the name convo until baby gets here.
ETA: What she allows/chooses to go by as she gets older is 100% up to her... For now though I control what people call her... If we call her by her full name then at home that's likely what she'd go by.
coconut / 8483 posts
@anonysquire: Choose the name you like, and tell your family what to call the baby. I would be so upset if they chose to call it something else because they didn't like your choice! It's not like they are shortening the name to a cute little nick name or something understandable.
pomegranate / 3729 posts
Name the baby whatever you want! My Mom went by her middle name until she was about 23, and her family still calls her that. My Aunt went by her middle name with family, but her first name in school (because she was too shy to tell people that she went by her middle name). I have never called her by her first name.
pomegranate / 3032 posts
I actually know a lot of people that go by their middle names
a friend's kid goes by Gracie and her name is Elizabeth Grace
a coworker goes by Clarise and her name is Arnetta Clarise (her mom is Arnetta)
a HS friend goes by Greg his name is Dennis Gregory
a HS friend goes by Sean his name is James Sean
I dont think its uncommon but if you really love the first name you picked then thats what he should be called.
coconut / 8475 posts
I go totally on my middle name. It just sort of happened somewhere in my elemtary school years though, not as a baby. Some people who I met in college, literally never knew my "real" first name, because in college you don't have yearbooks or attendance.
But now, because my first name is my legal name still, I get called my first name a LOT more, maybe because I don't hang out socially anymore. It's more like the teller at the bank, she calls me by what's on my license, obviously.
clementine / 854 posts
@anonysquire: I think you should name the baby what you'd originally planned. Once the baby is born, if others decide to call him/her by the middle name, give them a friendly reminder. I think that it'll only take a few times to get your point across.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I agree that you should just name the baby what you want, but realize you don't have control over nicknames. You could name your kid William and one day he comes home from school and you learn all the kids call him Flash because he's a fast runner.
pomegranate / 3225 posts
People are ridiculous. This happened to a friend of mine. She didn't tell them the name for that reason and eventually they got over it, after trying to call the baby by another name for awhile! Awful!
grapefruit / 4442 posts
MIL and FIL call DD by her middle name sometimes.. I just ignore it. DH is constantly correcting them. They love her middle name and her initials are FIL's father's name so they try to make a nickname with that. I say whatever let them be, they're happy. They listen when I tell them not to feed her chocolate and things and using her middle name or giving her a nickname will not hurt her.
pineapple / 12526 posts
DH and I cant agree on a name if we have a boy. He insists on his dad's name, which I hate but agreed to use as a middle. He says he'll call the kid that and I totally told him to call him whatever he wants, but that's not his name.
Name the kid whatever you like, but I agree that you can't really control nicknames.
clementine / 918 posts
My baby goes by his first name, however, his MN is my grandfather's name so that side of the family has taken to calling him little MN. Personally I think it's sweet and don't mind.
pomelo / 5524 posts
I'd definitely be on the correcting bandwagon as well if someone tried to call DS by his middle name instead of his first name. We chose the first name for a reason. If he decides later that he likes his middle name better, then he can choose. But totally rude that people are already calling the baby by his/her middle boy's name!
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
My MIL called WJ by the middle name she wanted (instead of the one we chose, which goes by the Korean naming convention) for a good six months. I totally ignored her and passive-aggressively side-commented to WS "that's not his name" in front of her. She'd giggle. Eventually she stopped.
pomelo / 5000 posts
Since living in the south, I've seen these things happen:
*People go by their middle names, or a shorten version of a middle name ("We're naming him Robert James and will call him Jim")
*People are called a combination of both their first and middle name (Madeline Beatrcie --> Maddie Bea)
*They go by a different name altogether!
@Anonysquire: go with the names and order you like! They'll come to love it.
pear / 1799 posts
I would name it the name you love, and that's his name! This is why we aren't talking about names with family/friends until baby is here (we figure they'll just go with it).
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