Ds was baptized in our parish here with a friend of mine as the godmother. They would not baptize without at least one catholic godparent named. I want dd to baptized but have no other catholic friends here (I live in the Bible Belt--mainly Protestants here) and all family lives far away--most aren't practicing Catholics. I'm thinking about talking to the priest about it, but I know it will make waves. Anyone with a similar experience?
-
We just had lo baptized and it stated in our book that one godparent has to be catholic. Talk to the priest, but I'm pretty sure that can't change. I know they didn't even refer to her godfather as godfather because he isn't catholic. He is called a Christian witness. Now during the ceremony, they both were referred to as godparents. .
-
@singingbee: I think it's pointless to talk to someone too. It's frustrating. She said I can have a witness-the person who Id want to be a godparent isn't catholic, but I still have to have a catholic godparent. Grrr.
-
I thought there was a way for a long distance person to be named as godparent. I may be wrong or it may just be in name and not ceremony but it might be worth asking about. If not could the same friend serve as godparent again?
Especially if you have a long distance godparent, maybe there is someone in the church community who could be a volunteer godparent? My grandmother was overjoyed to be the sponsor (is that the right term?) for a girl in their church going through confirmation. It was a social honor to her and your priest might know someone who would love to have a baby in their life.
-
@matador84: So your LO can't be baptized without designating a Catholic god-parent???
Can you ask someone you like from your parish participate, even if you aren't close - have one catholic person and two "Christian witnesses"?
-
@matador84: I would consider talking to the priest. I'm getting the impression that each priest also gets to set their own rules in addition to the catholic-wide rules.
We are jumping through hoops to get this baby baptized at the same church (new priest, but he also knew me growing up)! Friends of ours had a hard time getting their daughter baptized because the godfather, while catholic, wasn't married in the church.
I would clarify with them before panicking.
-
When my niece went through RCIA, I was one of her sponsors but her other sponsor lived elsewhere and couldn't make the ceremony. Someone stepped in to represent him. I wonder if the same could be done for a baptism? I'm a confirmed catholic and I don't know if that made a difference.
-
That's upsetting!
We didn't have to go through that, L was baptized through the Lutheran Church. I'm a little surprised they're not the same way though... I'm not Lutheran, but was able to be my niece's godparent.
-
I've been at a baptism where the godmother wasn't there. The godfather (Catholic) was present, though, so I don't know how it would've worked if he wasn't.
I agree with @TemperanceBrennan, maybe you can find someone to be the official Catholic witness, and then name who you want to be godparents separately.
GAH. This reminds me we have to find godparents for LO #2. He has one uncle who is already a godfather to LO #1. SIL is getting married, but her FI is pretty ardently ex-Catholic.
-
@matador84: Can you use the same friend?
-
We "used up" our options with DS-- so we also don't have any options for LO #2. I think we'll ask DH's mother or one of DS's godparents to be to be the godparent for our eventual 2nd child to satisfy church requirements, and then have some very dear Presbyterian friends of ours be the "Christian Witnesses" according to the church, but to be the godparents in our eyes.
I think it makes sense to require a Catholic godparent for children baptized in the Church, given what duties godparents are expected to fulfill. But I agree, it puts those of us without close Catholic friends or family in a difficult spot.
-
According to the Canon Law, a godparent should be named if at all possible and has to be Catholic (it might state practicing Catholic, but I'm not sure... some churches, like mine, require a letter from the godparent's parish saying they are registered and attend). The goal is to find a godparent who will sponsor the child in the Catholic faith specifically, not just in Christianity more generally or as a way to honor another loved one as godparent (to the church, honoring a loved one or choosing a friend isn't the point). All that said, you do have options:
- If you know a suitable person, but they don't live nearby or can't attend, someone else could stand in as a proxy for that person.
- A priest, deacon, or religious person can be the godparent. Asking your priest or another in the diocese (or that you know) is an option. They don't have to say yes, but they're allowed to do it.
- You could find someone in your parish to be a godparent, and then have someone you're closer to be the other godparent (who just has to be Christian).
- You could use whoever was godparent for your other child.
- If you've got no other options, I think it is technically allowed to baptise without a godparent. It's so strongly encouraged to have one, though, that they might want to exhaust all other options first (but maybe not! It's worth asking).Good luck! It can be hard to find someone. We struggled because we didn't know many people who could provide proof that they were practicing, but did find family members who could make it. It's definitely worth talking to your priest. While he can't change the rule about the godparent being Catholic (which makes sense, if you think of how the church conceptualizes the role of a godparent), he might have helpful suggestions or at least a sympathetic ear.
-
Just to clarify, I don't think every parish requires a letter or proof that someone is practicing. Ours does, though, so it was an issue for us.
-
I second the idea of the same friend if possible.
-
It's funny because DH and I weren't even married in church. I wanted to, but he wouldn't do RCIA. Ours requires parents and godparent attend a baptismal class and parents be registered in church for at least 6 months.
Reply
Subscribe to our newsletter
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
14 comments