LO is 2.5 and over the last few weeks, since we cut out his pacifier, it has taken him 1-2 hours to fall asleep at night. He will sing, talk, ask for water, ask to use the potty, ask to hold our hand, etc etc--basically all the stalling tactics. So he doesn't end up falling asleep til close to 9:30/10pm. He then wakes up at 6:15-6:30 am, and is of course exhausted by nap time. I don't let him sleep more than 2.5 hours, but then we get a repeat of bedtime antics. Any suggestions? Is this just a phase that will work itself out?
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@hilsy85: when we cut out the binky (at the same age), we had to sit next to him in his room until he fell asleep. It didn't last long, but it was better than the extra awake time. (We also moved bedtime back to 8pm. He wakes at 6am and does fine until nap around 12:30.)
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@JoyfulKiwi: he asks us to sit with him or hold his hand, but at night that can still take an hour! We put him in bed at 8/8:15pm usually. And he naps from 1-3 or so.
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we're still working on this. a few months ago LO started running after us as we left the room, crying and crying. then he started asking for water, for us to put on his blanket, wipe his nose, etc.--it became clear that he was stalling/playing us.
i try to put a straw cup and box of tissues by his bed to help ward off requests for those things. but what seems to have been more effective is not engaging with him when i do go in there. if i hand him his straw cup, i do it without looking at him, talking to him, patting him, singing a song, anything.
he still does come after us and i usually have to go in once or twice, but i just point to the bed, he crawls in, i put on the blanket and then i leave. if i had more fortitude i would make him learn to put on his blanket himself, but i don't feel like jumping that hurdle yet because he's going to freak.
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@hilsy85: instead of holding his hand, can you give him something else to hold and explain why you can't sit there holding his hand? although full disclosure i've explained to LO why it's better for him to fall asleep than come crying after us, and told him to hug one of his stuffed animals instead, but that hasn't gotten us very far.
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@edelweiss: oh we don't sit there and hold his hand--he's ok if we just leave the door open. And we don't interact when we go in. But even if he just stays in his crib, he is calling out for us (we ignore it), singing, etc etc and just not sleeping.
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@hilsy85: I wonder if there are some essential oils or something that you could diffuse that will encourage sleepiness? That sounds really tough.
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@JoyfulKiwi: hmm I"ll have to think about that. I am hoping it doesn't stay like this until he drops his nap...
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It's probably just a phase as he figures out what soothes him to sleep instead of the pacifier! R has times of taking a long time to fall asleep and I just chalk it up to a bad night.
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First I'll share Dylan's newest technique. "MOM!" "MOM!"
What is working best for us currently is talking about what he's going to dream about that night. I'll ask "are you going to dream about trucks, or a,b,c's or houses?" I'll tell him, "You don't have to go to sleep yet if you don't want to, you can think about (whatever he picks). And then he'll pick and we'll start listing all of the things, "big trucks, and little trucks, and blue trucks and green trucks, and garbage trucks and fire trucks...." And I'll walk out while we're still listing things.
Before that counting was our thing. I'd count to 10 while rubbing his back and then leave.
(None of these are fool proof. Also I always have water in the room during books so that I can avoid that as a stalling tactic.)
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What if your DH puts him to bed instead of you? Whenever I put DD to bed it takes me over an hour because she stalls...potty, water, books, songs, etc. But when DH puts her to bed he comes out of her room in like 20 minutes. What the heck?!
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@Mrs Green Grass: love doing some dream talk before bed!
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@birdofafeather: that's what I thought too.
@Mrs Green Grass: @dolphin: I guess maybe my real question is not so much about how to avoid the stalling, but whether it is possible that he is just not tired...so basically I don't know if he's not sleeping because he doesn't want to sleep/is stalling, or not sleeping because he is not tired yet! Which seems impossible..so I guess he just doesn't want to sleep, hence the stalling.
Tonight was a bit better, he was asleep by 9pm! Hopefully he sleeps a bit later...
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@hilsy85: we are dealing with this right now! She asks for snacks...but very specific snacks (two pickles, or Teddy crackers in a bowl, etc). We sing a million songs, read books- eventually we just have to hold her hand and lie beside the crib. Seems like separation anxiety on her end...hopefully it passes soon!
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Same. No advice. Just commiseration.
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@SleepyMonkey: ugh it sucks! Last night he didn't go to sleep til 9:45, and was up at 5:52!
AWFUL!
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@Mrs. Oatmeal: I would be totally fine holding his hand if I only had to do that for like a half hour tops. but it is more like 1 hour +, and Ijust can't do that.
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Hmmm, no advice really, but I'm guessing this is just a little phase he's going through. since you just cut his pacifier like another PP mention he might just need some time to adjust to not sleeping without it.
I think he probably IS tired, but he is so used to sleeping with it, that it's taking him longer to go to bed? Kind of like a sleep prop, it might just take some time for him to adjust? I don't think you are putting him to bed too early- my LO also goes to bed between 8/8:30 and naps usually 2 hrs.
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@NovBaby1112: ugh i guess I don't even mind the bedtime so much, except then he gets up SO early...when he went to bed at 9pm he woke up later, at 6:40, which was totally fine. But today was ridiculous...
AWFUL!
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