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@jaguar:
hoping you can keep moving forward in your next cycle
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Might be time to take a break for a while, I think. It's just too hard seeing happy pregnancies and not being there too. I've been trying so hard to be supportive & put on a brave face, but I'm just so disappointed. =(
Chat soon guys. x
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@jaguar:
We'll be here whenever you need to chat
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@jaguar: So sorry this cycle didn't work out. all my best wishes for you as you take a break.
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@MaryM: how goes the house stuff? Did you get to list it yet?
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@jaguar: lots of love and hugs...
@HappyBluebird: It's not listed yet, but we're officially done staging. Our realtor posted "Coming soon" photos online last weekend, and today brought out the professional photographer. I think we'll be listed by this weekend? Instead of rushing to host an open house though, we're waiting until the weekend after Easter.
I'm getting a little scared. DH and I have two weddings to go to this weekend and he's just coming off busy season at work so we've had no time to look for a house to buy. We're not sure when we'll have time for that. And stuff in our area is selling in 2-3 days! Our sale will be contingent on finding something to buy, but I'm hoping that won't put off any buyers.
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@MaryM: well hopefully since things move quickly it means people really want to live in your neighborhood so they will be willing to wait until you find something! Good luck on the house selling & searching!
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@HappyBluebird: things are getting really real...
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@MaryM:
hope everything goes well!
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@jaguar: Seriously! Life has GOT to cut you a break sometime soon. You're certainly due for some things to go your way!
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@jaguar: I agree with @momazon, there has to be a break around the corner. I know how hard that can be to see though.
to you
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Hey girls!
@jaguar: If you're taking a break from TTC (and not necessarily us) and you see this...I wanted to let you know that even if you don't check in to the boards as often, feel free to email or facebook me anytime
AFM, It's been a crazy last week! DH and I had weddings to go to Friday night and Saturday. They were "local", but both about an hour from home so we took advantage of the room block rate at the hotel for the first wedding and got out of our house for a night.
Our house listed Saturday morning, and by the time we got home from the second wedding we'd had three realtors schedule showings for Sunday! We haven't gotten any feedback from our realtor on those showings, but even if they weren't about to make an offer, I'm hoping they have something to share from their clients.
Since DH and I had to vacate the house for four hours, we took advantage of open houses and saw about 8 places. I'm still not sure we've completely compromised on location (DH wouldn't mind being further away if we can get a single family house...but I REALLY don't want a longer commute!), but we did see some places we really liked so that's made us more hopeful. The trouble is, at least half the places we saw received and accepted offers that day. Things are going fast! I hope if we find something we love our house will also go that fast...
Then yesterday my car wouldn't start so I ended up with an even longer weekend than planned. I had hoped to work a half day...until our first tow never showed up and we had to wait more than an hour for the next one. $500 later and my car is fine...but ugh. We really didn't want to spend that money right now!
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@MaryM: 3 showings in just a few days on the market! That's great! Glad you got to see some open houses! Hope you find your next house soon and glad your car is fixed!
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@HappyBluebird: Well boo! DH crossed paths with the realtor this morning (who is taking some new photos since the weather is nicer)
Only one person showed up on Sunday.
We left the house for FOUR HOURS after being gone the previous two days and people didn't even show up?
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@MaryM: How rude and annoying! Hopefully you get more serious showing appointments very soon!
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@HappyBluebird: I hope so too. Our realtor called the one agent who came and we're hoping she'll call back with feedback.
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@MaryM: Oh, we're still TTC-ing... that won't change. But I just need some space from BFP's while we're in this crap journey. It's exhausting being one of the ones that's left behind all the time. xx Thanks for the kind words.
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@jaguar: I totally get that. I've honestly hid probably more than half the boards here. I don't even check in with the 6+ month TTC group any more because I didn't think I could be supportive enough of BFPs. This is the only board I regularly come to anymore. And then I'll chime in on silly lifestyle type stuff.
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@marym: Wow, crazy! I agree that that's so annoying about all those no shows, but at least you got to go see some open houses together with DH. We bought our house last fall and it was a really quick market, too. We basically had to buckle down and be ready to put down an offer any time we were interested, that evening. I am HORRIBLE at making big decisions quickly! But we knew we had to, and did. We put in 7 offers, and finally got 2 accepted (on the same day). I was really bummed about the other 5, but, now, I am SO thankful they didn't work out because I LOVE this house. I hope and pray for the same for you, and for good timing! That thesis must be due soon too, right? Or it was recently due?
@HappyBluebird: How are you doing? Have you gotten good beta numbers yet? I've been thinking of you.
@jaguar: Miss you but I understand and respect your need for space!
PCOS diagnosis appointment tomorrow. Trying to take the attitude that if the diagnosis is made, then we have concrete steps and treatment options, and that if the diagnosis is not confirmed, then maybe our chances are higher than I sometimes think. I'm pretty sure I O-ed either CD16 or 17 a couple of days ago, so, hopeful! Much better than CD 33, CD 30, or CD 22.
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@DesertDreams88: thanks so much for thinking of me! I went this morning for my blood draw so I'm not sure when I'll hear from the Drs office. Yay for an earlier O! Good luck at your appointment! Seems like you have a good outlook, hope you get good news!
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@DesertDreams88: The draft of my full paper is due Sunday at midnight. AH!
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@MaryM: Good luck on your paper!
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I'm checking in! After my chemical and my early miscarriage, my RE said that my miscarriages, plus my age, plus my AMH/FSH, indicate that I have fewer eggs of good quality and let me know that the best bet was for me to do IVF with CCS (a new, more complete version of PGD- genetic testing) which has a very high success rate. But it also comes with a very hefty price tag. We've been trying clomid to make me super ovulate (last time with an IUI, which didn't work) but this time with just TI. She is still hopeful for the clomid to work but we are looking into IVF options with other doctors. The problem is, none of the other doctors do that new CCS genetic testing. But the prices are less than half.... ugh. This is all so hard. I feel certain I could get pregnant through IVF, but would it stick?
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@travellingbee: We can't afford PGD testing on our IVF cycles - so yeah, risky, but we go the cheaper clinics.
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Whelp. I'm joining. Feeling a bit numb so maybe I'll just start with the questionnaire.
1. What is your story? Had a missed miscarriage at 8.5 weeks 3 years ago, then had my beautiful DD in April 2013. We started TTC #2 in October/November. I have crazy long and irregular cycles and got pregnant on cycle 4 last week. Just found out for sure today that it's another miscarriage. I started spotting on Tuesday around 5w. Full on period like bleeding now. Hcg went from 150 on Tuesday to 91 on Thursday.
2. How do you feel today? Numb. Sad. Pissed off.
3. If you have any "next steps" what are they? Just hoping this finishes up quickly and we will probably try again right away
4. What coping strategies have worked the best for you? Haven't gotten there yet. Mostly I'm just trying to ignore it. My DD helps keep me smiling.
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@sslm: My heart just sank when I saw your name updating this post. I'm so sorry, love.
I gave Georgia so many cuddles during our losses last year, and I know you'll be able to do the same with your wee missy. x
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Hello! I'm sad to be joining this thread, but happy to have somewhere to go.
1. What is your story? My daughter is 2.5 years old and I've been wanting to try for our second for about a year, but due to some personal issues, we weren't in a good place to do so until about 3 months ago. I'm 34, so my clock is ticking loudly. The third month was the charm for us and I was so excited to be expecting our second little one in November. I even waited a week to tell my husband I was pregnant because I wanted to surprise him on his birthday. We went in for our first ultrasound when I was 6 weeks 2 days. The doctor commented the baby's heartbeat was low. He didn't give us a due date, and put me on progesterone suppositories (later, we found out my progesterone levels were perfect). Went back 2 long weeks later. I'd had no severe cramping or bleeding, so I was hopeful. Then, in the doctor's office, right before I went in, I saw the first drop of blood. The doctor confirmed my worst fears. I gave it a few days to see if things would "pass" naturally, but nothing has happened so I'm scheduled for my D&C tomorrow afternoon.
2. How do you feel today? Today is the best I've felt, but I've been pretty devastated. It may sound silly, but I didn't want my kids to be so far apart in age, and now I'll be "advanced maternal age" by the time I have a second, if we have a second. This all really upsets me. Sometimes, I don't feel like I have it in me to try again. My husband and I have not been doing well through this past week. He doesn't know how to support me and is angry himself, which just means a stressed out angry house.
3. If you have any "next steps" what are they? Beyond the D&C, my next goal is to find a new job. I was planning on leaving soon anyhow, but now I want to find a new one so I can qualify for a maternity leave policy sooner rather than later.
4. What coping strategies have worked the best for you? Talking to my two best friends who sadly have also miscarried has been the most helpful. My husband doesn't say anything useful (he is too hopeful - I want to be allowed to be sad and angry right now...hope can come a little later) and my parents are trying, but haven't been through this themselves, so they can't quite empathize. I don't feel like they understand how much I already loved this baby. But, I am going to try to start meditating and journaling. I think that will help. First, though, I need to get through tomorrow.
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@poppygirl15: I'm sorry for your loss - and I will send you lots of healing vibes for tomorrow.
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@jaguar: Thanks! The procedure went perfectly and I'm now in a better place to start to move forward.
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@sslm: @poppygirl15: I'm so sad you're joining our group here, but I do hope it can help you deal and heal.
@poppygirl15: I hear what you're saying about the hopeful husband. I think mind is only now (a year later) starting to realize how little control we have in this whole baby shindig.
Update on me...I'm currently going insane. We sold our house on Saturday (full asking price after only 12 days on the market. YAY!) and put in an offer on one I saw over the weekend yesterday. So now we have to just sit and wait and hope the sellers have mercy on us! They're being relocated so we're hoping they're super motivated, because we think the house was rather overpriced and offered less. But we're pretty sure our offer is the only one currently on the table. I'm praying we hear back soon!
And, my SHG is coming up on Friday. I'm feeling so meh about it. I mean, I feel like the best case scenario is that they find something wrong so it can be fixed, but who wants to go into an exploratory procedure hoping something is wrong??
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@MaryM: Hi hon! I hope you hear back soon!! Very exciting. xx
I'm still in my bubble of bad luck over here. Looking like this current FET is about to be cancelled too.
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@poppygirl15: hugs to you lady. I had D&E yesterday after loss at 10 weeks.
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@MaryM: Hi MaryM, thanks for the support! And, good luck buying a new house - that sounds stressful!
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@mamabolt: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Mamabolt. I hope your procedure went well and that you're healing nicely. I was surprised by how good I felt yesterday and today. In this sucky situation, I guess that's some silver lining.
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@jaguar: @mamabolt: Hugs to both of you!
I'm still waiting. I'm becoming quite the expert at waiting...
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@poppygirl15: @MaryM: Thanks ladies. Guess I'll throw in my official intro here...
1. What is your story? DD will be 3 in June and we found out in Feb. that we were expecting number 2 in October. At 9.5 weeks started spotting a little. Had US at 10w2d and saw baby measuring a few days small but with heartbeat, but significant NT measurement already. We planned to follow up with Maternit21 test and NT scan, but at 11 week appt. a week later, OB couldn't find HB with doppler. Was sent for emergency US and they confirmed baby had passed in the last few days. Had to wait over the weekend knowing all that and then I had a D&E on Monday.
2. How do you feel today? Really destroyed. I think all the hormones are crashing down and facing the idea of going back to work tomorrow is really hard right now. I'm sad and angry and resentful and scared.
3. If you have any "next steps" what are they? We asked for chromosomes to be tested but expect based on the NT measurement that we are dealing with a trisomy or other abnormality. So at least that gives us a "reason" if we get those results. OB said 4 weeks pelvic rest so we will wait until then and get more feedback from her on trying again and see where we are. On one hand I want to try again ASAP as I already feel guilty DD won't have a sibling close in age, but I also feel terrified to be pregnant again.
4. What coping strategies have worked the best for you? Don't really have any yet. My MIL is staying with us right now so mostly hiding from her in our bedroom. Today was nice weather and getting out of the house for a bit really helped and I saw my therapist, and I even picked DD up from school by myself. Hoping MIL will leave tomorrow and we can get a little bit of normalcy back into our lives. -
@mamabolt: *hugs* I'm so sorry. We found out that our little one had T21 from our d&c test results, and it definitely made it a TINY bit easier to process the reason behind the loss. I still grieve that little man every day, though. Be prepared to ask for/not to know gender. That was something interesting about the testing that I didn't realise we'd be able to find out.
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@sslm, @poppygirl15, and @mamabolt: I am so sorry to hear about your losses. I hope these days are a bit better than those first days, but I know the grieving process can be quite haphazard... Very unpredictable.
@sslm: when you are ready, maybe it would be a good idea to talk to your obgyn about your long irregular cycles, if you haven't yet already? I was recently diagnosed with PCOS, which is linked to irregular cycles and miscarriages, so my obgyn is being pretty proactive with helping with TTC, even though we're not at the 12 month mark. I wish I had asked about it earlier.
@poppygirl15: The husband aspect is so, so hard. Mine has a tendency towards depression, so he was the exact opposite than yours it sounds, but it is just hard all around. I hope you two can get in sync emotionally soon.
@mamabolt: I can't imagine having my MIL around during my loss, that is actually one of my fears, that I'll be visiting my long distance in-laws during my first trimester (not currently pregnant, but TTC) and deal with that worry of the possibility. I'm glad to hear though that your life is returning to some semblance of normalcy.
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@marym: Did your offer get accepted??? In our market, offers get a reply within 24 hours.... Fingers crossed it was a good reply! And I totally hear you on the SHG appointment, I felt the same way about my PCOS diagnosis appointment... I tried to see it as a win win, but felt it was like a lose lose.
hoping you can keep moving forward in your next cycle
hope everything goes well!
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