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@jaguar: thank you - needed this today. Hope you're feeling better this week.
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@Silva: that is very weird, maybe levels are t high enough for tests to detect the change/surge? Is this the first cycle immediately following MC? I didn't even bother charting that one in case it was too crazy...
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We finally (FINALLY!) got to transfer another little embryo today. So desperately hoping this works.
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@jaguar: Wowee!! Amazing news!! I will be crossing everything for you. Enjoy the good news
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@jaguar: oh, good luck!!!!
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@Nutella: yeah, I guess I was being overly optimistic that things would just go back to normal. My temp was down again this morning. Bummer. I was really hoping to have some sense of when my period my start. Oh well.
This whole thing just feels like a kick in the pants after being diagnosed with celiac last year- like my body has just stopped working the way I'm used to it working and now it's just a mess.
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@jaguar:
@Silva: My cycle seemed pretty normal for the first 3 after my d&c but now I have just had two 30 day cycles in a row (normally 26/27) so I have no idea what's going on either.
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Another early loss here. Positive tests, and they're fading already. Looks like another chemical, loss #3. I don't think I'll ever graduate from this thread.
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@jaguar: Oh sweetheart..... There aren't words. *hugs*
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@jaguar: oh shit - I'm so sorry. I was really cheering for you.
how are you feeling? Silly question I know. This is so unfair. Sending healing thoughts. -
@Silva: how are you going over there? Hope you are getting some idea of your cycle behaviour by now?
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@Nutella: I'm so angry. A negative cycle sucks, you know. Especially with IVF! But to give me a positive, and then take it away... it's all just cruel. I feel like someone up there is just kicking me right in the guts, all the time.
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@jaguar: oh man, I can't even imagine all the discomfort you go through only to have it taken away! I agree it's very cruel & I so wish that it didn't have to unfold that way. We are all here to support you if you need to vent.
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@jaguar: I'm so sorry.
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@Nutella: it's most likely going to be anovulatory. Following all those patterns, erratic temps and patches of fertile cm, and a week straight of EWCM. There was no temp rise after the positive opk, and the cm continued for awhile after. So now I think I'm just waiting for my period, with absolutely no idea when it will come. Meanwhile, I dreamed two nights in a row that I was pregnant
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@Silva don't mind me, I've been stalking this thread
just wanted to tell you that I had my D&C just before Labor Day (on my birthday, really fantastic) and I'm pretty sure that first cycle afterwards was anovulatory, like you think yours is. It was 25 days (mine are usually 26-28), and the period was bizarre--it was super light but with lots of lining, and kept starting and stopping for almost 6 days. Now I'm on my second cycle and my ovulation came, but on CD21, a full 7 days late. I was having weird patches of EW, very jumpy temps, and totally blank OPK's right up until hours before I finally ovulated. I did a ton of research about post-mc anovulatory cycles because I was convinced that was what was going on with me, and found many, many similar stories of bizarre charting stuff with super late ovulations--like CD25-35 ovulations. I sort of fell in love with the idea that the famed post-mc super-fertility thing would be my big consolation prize, and then was so confused and disappointed with the wonky cycles. Just wanted to give you some empathy/hope with all this stuff
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@jaguar: I love you. I hate that this happened.
@LCTBQE: my D&C was the day after my birthday (after finding out on my dad's birthday that we lost her)
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@Silva: sorry to hear that - hopefully AF arrives soon and you can move on with next cycle. I like what @LCTBQE: says and can definitely empathise with the wonkiness. I had the longest cycle of my life, 42 days post MC. Of course the one time I'm waiting every single day to see when AF arrives! But once it did come, the cycle seemed to go back to normal but who knows. This cycle is the first in months that I haven't had killer ovulation cramps (like painkiller and heat pad worthy) so I actually don't think I am surprised by anything anymore.
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@MaryM: @LCTBQE: sorry you ladies had to deal with hospitals on birthdays...that shit just ain't fair.
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@Nutella: @LCTBQE: I am the worst with things that are out of my control. The. Worst.
I've been stalking so many anovulatory cycles on fertility friend. I'm totally planning to call my doctors if I don't get my period after 5 weeks. They will probably tell me to chill, but whatever.
I also emailed my PCP to inquire about thyroid testing- since autoimmune diseases kind of go together sometimes.
Like I said. Not good at waiting/ things that are out of my control. -
@Silva: I hear you! That's why I'm no good when I'm chatting - it brings out my crazy. Thyroid testing sounds like a good idea though - I found mine were slightly under-functioning...and my OB actually prescribed thyroxine for it. Lowest dose available here but it's still brought my levels down to where they should be for TTC/pregnancy. Plus it's amazing how many of the symptoms I had despite only still being slightly off/not even in the hypothyroid realm by standard ranges. I did feel better doing something proactive to help my body but body prepare. Good luck for finding out your results.
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@MaryM: I read your story on this thread, and I'm so, so very sorry about your loss.
On a lighter note, have decided that birthdays are for 8-year-olds and salad-eating office ladies and I'm just not doing it any more
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@Nutella: oh cool, we can cuss here?
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@LCTBQE: probably not! After I posted I was like hmm I wonder if I'll get in trouble 🤔 But I feel it was justified!
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@Silva: yeah, I got a crick in my neck at work one day a couple weeks ago from looking down at my iPhone, which I was using to compare anovulatory vs ovulatory cycles on FF. Then a couple of days later I called my OB because I was convinced I was stuck in anov limbo (there is a Bee with a black witchy-looking bird icon who this happened to post-mc, ask me why I know this). The conversation with my OB was basically her *super* nicely telling me to sit down and wait, but talking to her made me feel so much calmer--maybe it would help you, too? She might want you to come in to test your hormones, and in that case you'd at least get some more information.
I also thought I might have a thyroid problem (my mom does, my pre-ov temps are low); I just went to a very fancy endocrinologist on Park Avenue who ran 5000 tests on me to conclude that my thyroid is normal. @nutella: told me about hers on another thread I started right after my mc, which I was grateful for (hi!) and I still think it's smart to cover all the bases. But agreed, the waiting, the lack of control, and the uncertainty are pretty tough. I'm sorry--hang in there.
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I'm having one of those days and am seriously counting the minutes until I can crawl back into my bed...
DH gave me the flu. I stayed home yesterday, but since I've already used 70+ sick hours this month, I figured I should drag myself to work today. Plus, I just applied for a promotion, so how would it look to take a bunch more sick time??
It's been one month this afternoon since Gigi was born.
One the way to work, I was running late so I picked up a bottle of iced coffee while getting gas instead of brewing my own before leaving. I took a sip as I was close to work, swore I had the lid back on (but didn't), then dropped it, spilling half of it on my (of course) white shirt.
As I was dropping a handful of tissues in the garbage in the hallway outside my office, I spotted out of the corner of my eye that someone was coming in to our offices with a baby. Our office is one that people visit a lot, so this is not a normal occurrence. I ran back to my office as soon as I could and closed the door, but of course it isn't locked because my social anxiety has prevented me from telling someone it won't latch.
four and a half more hours...
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@MaryM: ugh, what a day. Can you do anything special for yourself tonight?
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@Silva: DH has to work tonight and won't be home until 10 or so, so I have a feeling "doing something" for myself tonight might just be getting take out on the way home and going straight to bed...
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@LCTBQE: my chart continues to be totally f'd up. Fertility friend just gave me cross hairs again for cd 26. I'm sure my temp will dip again soon, like it did the last time I got crosshairs.
Look at this shit: -
@MaryM: take out, some wine, some trashy tv and then bed maybe?
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@Silva: It looks like at least your body is trying to O? I hope something happens for you soon so you can move on.
I'm pretty sure wine doesn't mix with nyquil, so it will probably just be TV in bed.
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@MaryM: screw today!!!
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@MaryM: ugh
I'm sorry.
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Hi all, I recently joined the TTC after Loss thread but figured I'd join here too since I can't actually TTC for awhile and it's been a crappy few days.
1. What is your story?
We went in for an NT scan last Monday at 12 weeks but baby was only measuring 9 weeks. I had a D&C on Wed and went back to work on Thursday.This is my second missed m/c (first was in Oct 2012). I am lucky to have a beautiful 2 year old who was born in Oct 2013. So October is a weird month for me. I have always wanted a spring baby, but I feel like my body can't carry a baby past mid-October (I feel like a crazy person admitting that).
2. How do you feel today?
Kind of crappy. I thought I was handling this loss better than my first one, but I realized that I am just angry this time instead of sad. A friend announced the birth of her son today, which hurt more than I expected, and my pregnant boss (who knows about both my losses, but has never had one herself) has just been talking about her pregnancy constantly (in fairness, I think she feels very awkward). I had a family wedding over the weekend and it was impossible to pretend to be happy the whole time, especially since we had been planning to announce last week so I was going to debut my "bump" at the wedding but instead just looked fat.3. If you have any "next steps" what are they?
The waiting game. Just waiting for AF to come back so we can start again. I also have a midwife appt next week and will ask if there are any tests that they can do.4. What coping strategies have worked the best for you?
With my last miscarriage, what worked was to let myself grieve as much as I wanted. This time, I am trying to appreciate my LO as much as I can. But I think I need to let myself grieve this one too. I just need to figure out how, since I feel more like punching a wall than crying.@MaryM: I'm sorry you've had such a rough day. I hope you at least get to relax tonight!
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@catlady: I'm so sorry for both of your losses.
I find myself drawing similar parallels to your thoughts on October. With my first pregnancy, I found out I was pregnant in January. I was due in January with my second. Our first baby was due in September, but our second one was born (stillborn) in September.
RE emotions, I've been reading Empty Cradle, Broken Heart. I think it's been helpful at affirming that the full range of emotions is "normal," and at affirming that it's better to feel the emotions than ignore them. I think I buried my first loss too much and didn't deal with it soon enough, so it made it all the more bewildering to my DH when I still wasn't "ok" months later.
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@catlady: Am sorry for your losses. My aunt only seems to be able to make October babies too. Her three kids are born within a week and she had several losses before her last.
@MaryM: What a terrible day! I hope you are home and in bed now and it improves as much as it can.
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Not home yet, but doing slightly better after letting myself cry.
I text DH every day at 4:12 (the time she was born) or as close to it as I'm able. After Gigi was born, I held her and just sort of just stared at her in shock on and off between crying. DH talked to her for both of us and commented on how she brought us (me and him) closer together. Which at the time I thought was weird, because I personally felt like we weren't as close when I was pregnant.
But I've held on to that since we lost her. We've been much closer (I think because my anxiety is making me needier, but DH is a trooper about it). But since he said that to her, I'm like, determined to make it be true.
(end rambling...)
anyway, DH texted me back when I texted him at 4:12 and asked how I was feeling. For once I was honest (I usually just say "ok..." or whatever...).
so I at least feel better knowing that i'm not alone in my feelings or whatever.
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@catlady: Not crazy! I am in the midst of losing another pregnancy (beta hell) and I had the EXACT same early loss last October. To the DAY. How creepy is that?
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@jaguar: @MaryM: @AprilFool: Wow, that is interesting that others have experienced weirdness with dates/months too. I keep hoping that the pattern means that next October will be a good one but I also don't want to get my hopes up too high.
@MaryM: I hope you are finally home now! Thank you so much for the book recommendation. I plan to check it out. Hope you and your DH both are doing ok tonight.
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@MaryM: Sending you HUMONGOUS hugs. I don't know if I spelled that correctly, but I am thinking of you. x
just wanted to tell you that I had my D&C just before Labor Day (on my birthday, really fantastic) and I'm pretty sure that first cycle afterwards was anovulatory, like you think yours is. It was 25 days (mine are usually 26-28), and the period was bizarre--it was super light but with lots of lining, and kept starting and stopping for almost 6 days. 
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