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@HappyBluebird: I didn't sleep for about two full days after we found out we'd lost the baby. I actually needed to get sleeping tablets for 1-2 nights after that, because my mind wouldn't stop racing. Look after yourself. xx
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@HappyBluebird: I'm very sorry for your loss and needing to join this board. I was also really unhappy the way my doctor reacted to my m/c...I don't think anything they can say is the "right thing" really.
I'm so sorry this happened to you - we're all here for you. I had a d&e, and as tidybee mentioned, we all have completely different experiences. Mine was not good at all. I had prolonged bleeding, 2 post procedure hospital trips, and passing of clots and finally, retained tissue. It was 8 weeks of bleeding total. This is not to scare you - this was HIGHLY irregular and rare, according to my OB. I also couldn't sleep for a long time after my m/c, and still have trouble, honestly. Hugs. @Tidybee: Somehow, I'm not as sad as I thought I would be. I think I'm actually MAD, which is a feeling that I generally don't get. I'm mad that this happened in the first place, and that I'm in this position to begin with, you know?
@FliegepilzHut: When do you get your results??
@2PeasinaPod: I'm so over waiting!!! I hope the second round of blood tests gives you all the answers you need. I can imagine all this testing is not making you feel any better.
I'm on the emotional rollercoaster as well...I think it just comes with the territory, unfortunately. @Jess1483: Thank you for rooting for me! I'm going to need it as we continue on this seemingly endless journey.
I'm glad you guys had a great trip!!! It was definitely a deserved break!@jaguar: Sadly, I wasn't shocked or anything about the bfn this month. With the luck I've been having the past 6 months, it would have been too good to be true.
Hope your LO is feeling better soon - DS has had a cold for a week now (and all through vacation!) ughhh
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@HappyBluebird: You're very welcome. I, too, spent at least one AWFUL night after I found out, woke up in almost a panic, and couldn't shut off my brain, fall back asleep...and didn't want to wake DH. You will feel "normal" again...but if I've learned anything from this, it's not to rush grief. I think it's normal to feel sad, frustrated, and hurt (at times, and in turn) for a while... Just own the experience...and then do what it takes to feel better. Lots of hugs!
@ValentineMommy: Later today, I'm sure. Then I'll hopefully have my RPL labs drawn on Thursday.
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@FliegepilzHut: FX for your results!
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@ValentineMommy: Thanks!
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@HappyBluebird: I'm so sorry you have to join us. and that you had a sucky response from your doctor. I really think that can make the experience SO much worse.
Are you in a practice with multiple doctors? Can you see someone else for follow up?
I knew I had to see all 5 doctors in my practice through the process of my pregnancy, so I went to one with a horrible reputation early thinking I'd be getting her "out of the way." Major mistake. I ended up seeing her when we had the US done and they couldn't see anything. They didn't confirm a MC (said my math could have been off and it could have been too early) and the doctor pretty much said "It's most likely a MC, come back in two weeks to confirm it. That's all I know." and didn't answer any questions for us and was downright rude. It was horrible.
I ended up going to others doctors in the practice for follow ups (who were willing to run betas and do the follow up much sooner...can you imagine waiting 11 days not knowing what's happening?!??). Even the poor intern who was with her that day was apologetic and did a better job helping us come to grips with things.
I hope that you can find some peace so you can take care of yourself
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@MaryM: I'm so sorry you had to also deal with an awful response from your dr. I can't imagine having to wait 11 days to know what was happening! I'm glad you were able to see a different dr. I am in a practice with lots of doctors and luckily a different Dr is going to do the D&C and my follow up appointment is with the new dr. I haven't ever seen her but honestly I don't think she can be much worse. After the doctor did the US and didn't see anything, she confirmed with us that we saw the heartbeat the first time which we said we did. Then she stopped the US, told me to get dressed and meet her in the hallway and left the room. I knew obviously that something was wrong at that point. Thankfully the US tech that scanned me on the better machine was much more sympathetic and understanding. Of course our meeting with the Dr afterwards is when I got the reaction I wasn't expecting and was put off by her. I'm glad I'm not seeing her Thursday or in 2 weeks.
Today I went in to work and at first I was dreading it but I think its actually good for me. Yesterday was hard sitting around and having lots of time to think. DH and I started watching The Blacklist which helped for a few hours but the down time and quiet was hard. I only work with one other person and she knows what happened and she's been great in talking about other things but letting me talk about yesterday when I need to.
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@HappyBluebird: I hope you get more compassion when you go back! I also found that the US tech was really helpful. We heard more from her than from the actual doctor.
I can understand not wanting to confirm one way or another if they aren't sure, but the doctor basically threw her hands up and said "this is all we know!" and wouldn't mention any next steps or best/worst case scenario.
I also found working helpful. I didn't tell anyone in my office for a while (I had a natural MC because of the fact that we didn't know at first if it was happening or not) and I really needed the distractions.
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@HappyBluebird: So glad that you have someone who knows what's going on and is helpful in distracting you when you need it and listening to you when you need it. That's so key!
@MaryM: Blah, I'm sorry you had such a bad experience too!
Sometimes I feel like doctors need to go through some ongoing bedside manner training! Even just an "I'm sorry" would be far better than some of the stuff we hear!
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This question may have been asked in this thread, and if it has I'm sorry for re-asking, but for those of you who had a D&C did you have the option of twilight anesthesia or being completed out? If so, which option did you choose and were you happy with that decision?
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@2PeasinaPod: Yes I agree, I've heard many stories of people who's friends/family say things that come across as uncaring. I also agree that an "I'm sorry" would have gone a very long way. I do understand that they deal with this sad situation very often but I do not and an I'm sorry would have made the situation not nearly as bad as she made it.
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@HappyBluebird: Exactly...I often felt that way at my OB's office...great that you see this all the time, but I don't. Though that started to not apply after each miscarriage, darnit.
As for the anesthesia, I opted for twilight anesthesia and I remembered nothing. In fact, after my first D&C, I woke up to being wheeled back into recovery, and then told my doctor that my husband was taking me to the Bahamas. LOL...
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@HappyBluebird: I didn't have an option, but I also had twilight anesthesia. I was completely out - don't remember a thing, except for waking up.
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@2PeasinaPod: @ValentineMommy: The doctor brought up twilight anesthesia and I was worried about remembering anything but I feel a little better about it after hearing about yours and reading up about it.
@2PeasinaPod: Haha I know that anesthesia can make you say some funny stuff!
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@HappyBluebird: I was never given the option, but both times I woke up really quickly on the way to the recovery room and didn't even feel that out of it or groggy so I wonder if I got the lighter version. I do know that I fell asleep within 2 seconds of them putting the medicine in. Totally awake and alert one second and then what seemed like the next second I was being wheeled to recovery. I just realized you have to wait til Thursday. Ugh. Both times, I got it done the next day. Id be having a hard time just sitting waiting to go in for it...no wonder you had trouble sleeping!
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@Tidybee: Yeah waiting til Thursday is definitely making me feel like everything is dragging on. I am under no illusion that I will magically feel better once its over but right now I feel like I need this next step to start healing. I'm hoping tonight I will sleep better but I think I might take some over the counter meds to help if needed.
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@HappyBluebird: I did twilight (or "conscious" sedation) both times, even though it's my hospital's policy to do general, and don't remember anything from either time. The anesthesiologist gave me a bigger dose of meds to start the process last time and really snockered me!
But there was no real "hangover" either time and I was able to go home faster and eat! Beta was 4.6 (technically negative...still not "0"). Waiting to hear back from my RE's office, hopefully later today.
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@FliegepilzHut: I'm glad it was negative!!!
@HappyBluebird: I've had twilight several times (for other things) and I've never woken up or been conscious of what was happening. I wouldn't be concerned about it. That being said, I will mention that I did wake up hysterical. It's a common side effect for women apparently. (It had nothing to do with the type of procedure, because it happened to me before when I had my wisdom teeth out). Just wanted to throw that out there in case that happens to you as well. hugs!
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@ValentineMommy: I'm sorry about AF. It does mess with your head, doesn't it? We were first try for A and the baby we lost but are on cycle 3 now and probably into cycle 4 soon, is my guess.
@HappyBluebird: Big hugs to you. I'm glad work was good for you.
@jaguar: I am sooo excited to see if this random clomid cycle works for you. That would be awesome!
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I never though I'd be so excited to hear that I'm officially not pregnant! Yay!
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@FliegepilzHut: Congratulations
(!?)
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@Jess1483: My feelings exactly...
At least I can now get those labs drawn and (barring any unforeseen circumstances) start planning my FET in about 2 months!
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@FliegepilzHut: congratulations! Hoping everything goes as it should and your FET is as planned!
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@travelgirl1:
FX we get sticky babies soon@FliegepilzHut: yay! It's a weird feeling, isn't it?
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@HappyBluebird: Again with the waiting. It kills me! My first D&C, I had to wait about a week before I could get scheduled, but they had me in and out so quickly. My second, they got me scheduled for the very next day, but the OR was 3 hours behind. Then they were so backed up in recovery that they wouldn't release me until almost 3 hours after the surgery. I spent the entire day in the hospital and all I wanted to do was go home! Hoping this goes quickly for you. The good thing is that I immediately started to feel my pregnancy symptoms go away quickly which helped a tiny bit with the healing process. Nothing worse than feeling nauseous knowing that you'll have nothing to show for it at the end.
@FliegepilzHut: Glad to hear your blood results came back with good news!! I'm off to LabCorp for the second time today. Went at lunch and they didn't have my order. Called my RE and they were at lunch. Called them again now and they said it's in there...but LabCorp sometimes is lazy and doesn't want to print it, so they make them fax it. So...let's waste some more patient time. Grr...
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@2PeasinaPod: Ugh...the runaround is the worst. I was reading yesterday that when those antibodies are positive, you may need to get repeat labs done 3 months later to confirm. I can try to send you the link if you want. I guess there is little risk in treating, but anyway...
@travelgirl1: FX that you get a
and your take-home baby soon!Thank you ladies for all the good thoughts!
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@jaguar: I wanted to thank you for your post a week or so ago about your health/fitness challenge. How's it going?
It made me think about trying to do something (even if it's just one thing a week) for myself. Either a step to be healthier, or something to make me feel better.
This week, DH and I signed up for a local fruit/veggie delivery service. We've both been so swamped that our groceries have been super boring (and rather trashy!) lately.
I'm excited to receive (and cook and eat) something different!
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@FliegepilzHut: Would love to have the link! And man what a terrible experience I just had at LabCorp again. So bad that I left and went to a different location. I don't normally complain when I'm treated poorly, but this time around, I just might. The lady was so mean to me that I certainly didn't want her sticking me with a needle!
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@2PeasinaPod: That's horrible!
Here's the article I read yesterday: https://www.rheumatology.org/Practice/Clinical/Patients/Diseases_And_Conditions/Antiphospholipid_Syndrome/Also here's a (slightly less technical) patient support website:
http://www.apsfa.org/pregnancy.htm#1If you find than any of this is adding rather than subtracting from your anxiety, please don't read and instead try to get seen by your RE to discuss next steps!
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@2PeasinaPod: yes, I'm hoping that the symptoms stop soon after the surgery Thursday. Not fun feeling nauseous knowing is not going to end how I expected
Eta: sorry about lab Corp, some people just need lessons in manners and being a nice person
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@MaryM: that sounds fun, I'm not sure we have anything like that but I like to go to our local farmers market and pick out veggies and fruits to try new things. Once I'm feeling a little better I'm going to try and eat more healthy and exercise more, hopefully I'll lose a little weight
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@ValentineMommy: Your post d&c experience still makes me cringe, you poor bugger. You NEED some good luck after that! Sorry your LO is sick too. We had a horrible night of sleep last night.
@HappyBluebird: *hugs* Going back to work would have been tough. I'm thankful to have been able to stay at home with Georgia after the loss. Don't think I could have coped with teaching other people's babies after I'd just lost mine! (I am/was a primary school teacher.)
No option for us - it was a general anaesthetic, and I was so glad for it. I didn't want to be aware of ANYTHING going on.
@2PeasinaPod: I agree with you re: doctors and bedside manner. It may be common for them, but it's the end of our worlds - a little sympathy goes a long way. I have to say, my OB was fantastic when we discovered the baby had died... but his manner afterwards was very business like.
@FliegepilzHut: Negative! Yes. (In a very happy/sad moment.)
@travelgirl1: Aw, thanks! But it won't work. I've already ruled myself out. Just hopefully one step closer to a period....
@MaryM: You're so welcome! I'm glad to have inspired you. I've done really well, nice to have something to focus on. (Even though all I want to do is eat myself through a tub of icecream, haha.) I've lost 1.4kg in a week & a half, so that's really cool. Happy with that. I'm enjoying the exercise challenge, too. 6 days a week, it's pretty full on!
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So much to catch up on!
@FliegepilzHut: "YAY!" for negative!
@2PeasinaPod: You are going through so much right now, but seems like you have a solid "game plan." I am sorry you have experienced such terrible beside manner. If it helps, we think they suck and that you are awesome.
@ValentineMommy: Sorry for AF! I agree that focusing on your house and, possibly, getting knocked up in the process sounds like an awesome month.
@Tidybee: How is the "month of Tidybee" going? -
@FliegepilzHut: Thank you! I'm going to relax tonight and read when I'm in a good frame of mind!!
I have some crocheting to do...yes, I'm like a little old lady, and I love it
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@HappyBluebird: I am so terribly sorry you have found yourself here but I hope that we can be a source of encouragement and support. Please feel free to vent, cry, hope etc with us. It's so much easier when you don't carry the burden alone.
At a 10 week ultrasound, I found out I had a blighted ovum. Like you, I found out from an awful awful ultrasound with an OB who had no idea what she was looking for. I will never forget the feeling of being on that table.
My D&C wasn't right away either but four days after I found out. I did all kinds of research on anesthesia but my hospital only offered general, and I took it. The nurses and doctors I encountered that day were so kind--like the kindest people I had ever met all in one room doing my procedure. I hope you have a similar experience. I was scared of the general but they made me feel so relaxed (they gave me something for it!) and I woke up feeling fine. By the next evening, I was out walking my dogs.
The only advice I have is to allow yourself to feel your feelings. One day, you may be shocked, angry the next, hopeful a week later and then numb. Sometimes, these feelings can change hourly or by the minute. It's okay to be irrational and its okay to get so angry you throw shit around. It's okay to be depressed or anxious. I never really understood grief or loss or how lonely it could be before this, so reach out to friends when you need them. Some people retreat because they don't know what to say and some say the worst things. I just had to forgive them and move on. Be gentle and patient with yourself. Just because one day is bleak, doesn't mean you won't find joy in the next. -
So, I started faintly spotting this morning and then...nada...
I also went to a co-workers shower over the summer (while I was newly pregnant) and she dropped off a card yesterday with a little blurb about how she hopes I join the "mommy world" soon. A month ago, I would have locked myself in my classroom and cried. Instead, I just tossed it in the recycling without much thought. I am strangely "proud" of myself. Not the right word, but I am sure you all know what I mean.
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@2PeasinaPod: I'm an old lady too. I made three scarves over the weekend!
@simplyfelicity: great job looking out for you!
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@2PeasinaPod: @MaryM: You guys are awesome!
(Not tongue-in-cheek...I am not remotely crafty.)@simplyfelicity: Thanks! That's amazing self-control! Good on you!
@jaguar: Still hardcore impressed! You go, girl!
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@simplyfelicity: I'M proud of you! Sometimes when you're in those moments, you want to share with someone how strong you are, but they wouldn't understand. I totally understand!!
@MaryM: Holy cow! I finished my first scarf tonight. I'm a newbee and am teaching myself how to crochet, so my work is still a bit rough, but I've made a baby blanket, hat, scarf, and a few dishcloths so far. I'm getting better and faster and am looking forward to another project!
@FliegepilzHut: I totally needed something else to help distract me and make my brain work a little. Aside from running, this is my new stress reliever. And YouTube is great when you're trying to teach yourself something new!
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@simplyfelicity: What a tease! I reckon AF is right around the corner, chicky! Huzzah!
@2PeasinaPod: I wish I could crochet. My late nanna tried to teach me, but I failed miserably.
I've been making sure I read a STACK too. I'm flying through books right now.
I'm so sorry this happened to you - we're all here for you. I had a d&e, and as tidybee mentioned, we all have completely different experiences. Mine was not good at all. I had prolonged bleeding, 2 post procedure hospital trips, and passing of clots and finally, retained tissue. It was 8 weeks of bleeding total. This is not to scare you - this was HIGHLY irregular and rare, according to my OB. I also couldn't sleep for a long time after my m/c, and still have trouble, honestly. Hugs. 
I'm glad you guys had a great trip!!! It was definitely a deserved break!
But there was no real "hangover" either time and I was able to go home faster and eat! 
At least I can now get those labs drawn and (barring any unforeseen circumstances) start planning my FET in about 2 months!
and your take-home baby soon!
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