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@jaguar: Very annoying I agree! That and the people around me who complain about being pregnant and how crappy they feel or look. I'd certainly take all that if it meant I was still pregnant! At least we can come here to vent!
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@jaguar: Many hugs.
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@jaguar: hugs. I purposely hid the pregnancy boards because of this. Perspective.
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@jaguar: That is definitely a downer.
Just curious...what time is it now?
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@FliegepilzHut: It's midday here now!
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So I don't think I ever actively introduced myself on this board but you all have been such a source of strength during this ttc process.
I have a wonderful ds who is the light of our lives. He turns two next Friday! I can't hardly believe it!
We are in our fourth cycle ttc baby dos after an early mc/cp during cycle two. I was in limbo land because I felt like it was so early that I couldn't really post in these boards but felt lost on the other ttc/pregnancy boards as well. Af after cycle three was a bit of a blow but I'm recharged after that and just looking forward to the holidays.
My o was wack this cycle and either I OEd late or not at all so I'm not getting any hopes up. Dh has been a huge support and we've already scheduled our next overnight date night for o week next month.
I'm trying to stay relaxed but I definitely feel dumb and naive because we were so lucky conceiving ds and are still early in the process for two but this whole actively ttc business is so hard. I never went back on bcp and never had an oops! So it's especially difficult seeing the 'got bfp first month/ntnp posts.'
Anyway just wanted to say hello and thank you all at once.
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@jaguar: That makes sense. It's evening here!
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@mrsjyw: Thanks for the intro! A getaway with DH sounds like fun! Hopefully you won't have long to wait!
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@jaguar: yep. I just find it hard to be around pregnant people in general--tough when literally 6 out of my 10/12 close mommy friends are pregnant with their 2nd.
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@mrsjyw: hugs and
sending you so many good thoughts and crossing fingers that a sticky baby happens soon for you. I totally know what you mean about feeling naive--I feel like I was almost more prepared for a m/c with LO1, but once I had a great pregnancy with him, I thought I was in the clear. DUMB!
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@mrsjyw: I can sympathise on being in limbo! I never felt like I fit in on the TTC boards, even thought I *was* TTC - the IF boards were the better fit for me, and sadly, now the loss boards. I'm sorry for your early loss. xx
@FliegepilzHut: Yep, HB tends to go quiet for me in my evenings (since everyone is busy and at work in the USA/CA)
@hilsy85: Same here. Especially my preggo SIL, due a week after I was supposed to have baby #2. I still can't believe that even happened. So bittersweet.
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@jaguar: Gender disappointment posts are the hardest for me. UGH.
@Chaosmaven: I am so sorry for your loss! I feel like I don't belong anywhere else right now either, limbo is definitely tough.
@mrsjyw: So sorry for your loss!
Well I finally have an update. I spoke with my RE yesterday and she said that she was on board with a D&C (it was originally her partner that made me feel like that wasn't an option). She had me go in for an u/s this morning to see if the sac was shrinking, and it's not. It actually grew a little more, so it appears that I wouldn't miscarry naturally anytime soon. My RE is out until Monday, so my OB is going to do a D&C for me tomorrow morning. I am nervous (my last m/c was natural so I have never had a D&C), but I am beyond ready to move on.
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@mrsjyw: @hilsy85: I felt exactly the same way. Got pregnant with ds easily and had no problems. When we got pregnant on the first try with our m/c, I wasn't worried like I was the first time. I feel so naive and stupid still.
@Sunshine1810: hugs and prayers for tomorrow. I hope everything goes smoothly and recovery is quick. We will be here when you're ready to talk!
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@Sunshine1810: hope everything goes smoothly and you recover quickly
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@Sunshine1810: I hope everything goes well! My D&C was not as scary as I thought it would be, and recovery has been very easy. One thing I wish I had been told--take stool softeners after! I didn't and I had some side effects from the anesthesia.
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@Sunshine1810: Glad to hear you will be able to move forward. Best wishes for recovery.
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@Sunshine1810: Big hugs to you. The limbo is the worst - I hope the d&c can give you closure. x Lots of us here to support you, chick.
I go in for a monitoring ultrasound to see if these follicles are responding okay to the IVF drugs this round. Would love some positive vibes, if you have some spare ones. Really nervous I'll respond low again.
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@jaguar: I'm sending out huge amounts of positive vibes for you!
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@Sunshine1810: Hope everything goes well
I totally understand the desire to move on... Hope you will have a quick recovery!@jaguar: Sending you lots of good vibes!
Tomorrow I have my follow up. I'm hoping my hcg will have dropped and my ultrasound will be clear! I feel like myself again, which is good, but want to be able to start planning to TTC again. Having something to look forward to, even if it is OPKs and temping, will make a world of difference.
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@jaguar: Sending lots of good vibes and love!!!
@Chaosmaven: FX your numbers have dropped and your ultrasound is clear!!! Hugs!
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@Chaosmaven: Good luck at your follow up! Hope your levels have dropped and your US is clear!
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@jaguar: Amen to your comment on gender disappointment posts. I know this site is for all walks of life, but f*ck...some of the stuff I read makes me ragey. AND...I also have a SIL who is due 3 days before I would have been due with my most recent. I'm helping her with her registry right now and while I'm thrilled to gain a niece or nephew, it makes me horribly sad. Sending you TONS of good vibes!
@Sunshine1810: Hoping for a quick recovery for you
@Chaosmaven: Hoping everything looks clear for you
I went to my follow up appointment with my RE yesterday. Lining looks good and she started me on Provera for 5 days along with keeping me on my estrogen. Should have AF a week after my last Provera dose. I go in for my FemVue between day 5-12 once AF arrives. If that looks clear, we can move on to our next step.
Going on and off hormones over the last 2 weeks has really messed with me though. I had a full on anxiety attack at work yesterday. The last time I had one was a month after my very first miscarriage as we arrived in the Bahamas. I didn't know what to do with myself yesterday and had a colleague call me so I could step out of my meeting and just calm myself down. I'm so worried once I stop the Provera and estrogen that I'm going to be a mess in 5 days. Blah...I hate feeling out of control.
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Hey girls. I took an unintended break for a few days. It wasn't anything I did on purpose, but I think after my doctor's visit last week I just needed some time to process.
DH had a doctors appointment that day too, so we met up afterward and went shopping for our god daughter's baptism and out to a movie. I think it was helpful that we got to get out and do some stuff together.
I was a bit in a funk over the weekend (didn't help that AF hit), but I think I'm heading out of it. I had an amazing AF (if you can say that)...only 3 days long with spotting one day on either side, so I'm getting a little more hopeful for this month. I'm just hoping DH's schedule doesn't ruin our chances!
I'm sorry to the newcomers who are having to join us. But I hope you can find some comfort among women who understand what you're going through.
I've been having a hell of a time lately dealing with jealousy too. It's getting really hard for me to even fathom how any more people I know could become pregnant... Pretty soon I'm not going to have any friends on facebook I haven't hidden!
As for DTD (I forget who asked)...My doctor said to wait for bleeding to stop, though he said most people do that just for sanitary reasons.
I also had a very long drawn out natural MC. Considering I burst into tears the first time we did it (and I think we still waited a week or two), I'd guess that the waiting suggestions are more psychological related than physical.
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@Chaosmaven: Hope everything goes well at your follow up. x
@HappyBluebird: Thanks chick!
@2PeasinaPod: That feeling is the worst kind. I hope you're doing okay today. I understand completely. I very rarely visit anywhere other than this particular part of the site, because it's just too disappointing.
@MaryM: Hopefully that little break has helped, slightly. I feel the same way with pregnancies at the moment. My heart's just not there, and I'm struggling to put that happy face on.
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@ValentineMommy: @HappyBluebird: @hilsy85: @simplyfelicity: @2PeasinaPod: @jaguar: Thank you ladies for the wonderful outpouring of support! Honestly, yesterday went much better than I expected. I got through the procedure pretty easily and I am not in a lot of physical pain. The nurses were all great yesterday. My RE is out until Monday so my OB did the procedure and she was great as always. I felt very fortunate that they all took such good care of me. I had the D&C done at a Catholic hospital (I'm Catholic too) so they came in to tell me that a local funeral home cremates the remains and then buries them in a memory garden at one of the local cemeteries which I thought was sweet. They hold a yearly service there as well.
@jaguar: I hope you have a great u/s!
@Chaosmaven: I hope you have a good appointment! Having something to look forward too does help so much. Limbo is the worst!
@2PeasinaPod: I'm glad you had a good appointment! It is so hard going on and off the hormones. I didn't do so badly with my IVF meds, but Clomid makes me have horrible panic attacks. It's such a bad feeling! I hope you feel better soon!
@MaryM: I hope your break helped a bit! It is such an emotional thing and I completely understand the jealousy. It's hard to put on a happy face even though you are a mess inside. *HUGS*
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@Sunshine1810: You're so lucky to have a Catholic hospital nearby! I use a Catholic OBGYN, but we only have secular hospitals (I guess that's what you'd call them? lol). But the doctor's practice has a memorial service each year. It was really touched when I got the invitation to that last year. It was right about the time when it felt like everyone in my life was "over it" and moving on and not talking about it anymore.
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@MaryM: I am very lucky. The practice I go to affiliates with a much larger hospital that is 2 hours from my house (which is where I have to go for IVF) but they recently partnered with the Catholic hospital nearby so I can have anything done there except IVF. I am so glad I went there for my D&C. I think having a memorial service is so nice. It's so hard for people to understand the loss you feel with a miscarriage. I also appreciated them giving me the information and having it say "memorial ceremony for parents to attend" I think of myself as a mom to 2 angel babies, but I know most people don't think of me as being a parent because my babies aren't physically here. The hospital was so great at recognizing all of those things, and it made it so much easier for me.
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@Sunshine1810: The memorial service my doctors hold is on mother's day. I wasn't able to go last year, but I realized how much that timing probably means to those who do go as I awkwardly stayed sitting in a pew when the priest at the parish I attended with my mom asked all mother's to stand for a blessing.
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@MaryM: Mother's Day is so hard, but I always find Mother's Day mass even harder. My mom told our priest what I was going through, and he wants to say a mass for our baby but I don't know. I like the idea, but I want to keep it private, so it would depend on what he would say.
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@Sunshine1810: glad it went well!
@jaguar: sending good thoughts!Jeeeeez, after reading the news about Sandy's baby passing away
....I just, I mean I can't even. First you have to get pregnant, then you have to STAY pregnant, then you have to make it til the baby can be born safely, and then you have to get through delivery....and even then, even if you make it through all those hurdles, there are no guarantees. It's just all so sad and unfair.
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@Sunshine1810: That's really beautiful, hon. Part of me is so sad that our little one was tested, because it meant no kind of burial closure. But I can't let myself focus on that.
Time to start healing.
I'm so freaking sad, you guys. This IVF was supposed to be a shining light, a bit of hope, to round out a crappy year. And now we're told we can't have a transfer, and once again, my body is the cause of it all. Can't we just catch a break? Just one?
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@MaryM: I was the one who asked about DTD, so thanks for letting my know what your obgyn said
I think we'll just wait until spotting is over, fingers crossed that that will be soon.... weird story re: crying/DTD: My husband and I waited to DTD until we were married, and while the first time was great, I still ended up crying directly afterward from all the emotions. Um, awkward!! lol! DH was so taken aback. TMI?? Does that exist here??@jaguar: Oh no, did your monitoring ultrasound have a bad outcome? Is that what you mean by "we're told we can't have a transfer" ? Ugh. This year has really sucked for me too (other, work-related reasons) and I am just emotionally crawling towards the hopes of a new year.
@Chaosmaven:
for your appointment tomorrow! I just had mine today and found out that my incomplete miscarriage is now "complete." I'm trying to look at it as a step forward.Have a great weekend, ladies!
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@Sunshine1810: I'm glad to hear that you're doing well. And the experience and support sounds so touching! Make sure you dose up on some ibuprofen tonight!
@hilsy85: If everyone focused on all the potential risks and ways that things can go wrong...hardly anyone would choose to have kids.
It's a huge leap of faith!@jaguar:
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@DesertDreams88: My progesterone is too high and they're going to do a freeze all. No fresh transfer for me.
@FliegepilzHut:
back at you!
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You guys doing ok? It's quiet in here. xx
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Sorry I've been MIA ladies, the last few days have been crappy. My coworker had her baby and I'm happy for her but it's still hard. Also had a family get together and multiple people asked when it was our turn. Generally our families haven't asked so it took me by surprise. By the last time I wanted to scream that is not always that easy. Ugh, stupid people!
Hope everyone had a good weekend
@jaguar: how are you doing? I'm sorry about your high progesterone
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@HappyBluebird: Big hugs, hon. I'm sorry the last few days have been hard. Just do what you've gotta do to get by. xx
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@HappyBluebird: I'm sorry. That sounds so hard.
I've been convinced that I'm being persecuted, because *literally* everyone is talking about babies at work...but at least it's not aimed directly at me. And thankfully, my wounds are healing. Sending you a big hug! -
@jaguar: @FliegepilzHut: Thanks ladies! Doing much better today!
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@jaguar: and @HappyBluebird: Hugs to you both!
I don't know if I accidentally deleted it, or if I didn't get an email that there were new posts here. Anyhow, I hope you both are having ok days today.
Just curious...what time is it now?
....I just, I mean I can't even. First you have to get pregnant, then you have to STAY pregnant, then you have to make it til the baby can be born safely, and then you have to get through delivery....and even then, even if you make it through all those hurdles, there are no guarantees. It's just all so sad and unfair.
I think we'll just wait until spotting is over, fingers crossed that that will be soon.... weird story re: crying/DTD: My husband and I waited to DTD until we were married, and while the first time was great, I still ended up crying directly afterward from all the emotions. Um, awkward!! lol! DH was so taken aback. TMI?? Does that exist here??
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