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I hate that mindset so much. Stay strong, and find a doula if you can swing it!

Sounds like she has a chip on her shoulder! Just know that that is not true!

Such a nasty, nasty thing to say.

That just doesn't even make sense. Like you have bad karma and end up with a c section if you try to plan your birth?

Uhh...ok?

I think maybe just know that even if you plan for med free anything could happen and your birth isn't something you can totally control, and it's ok. (I had a good epi experience, am pro epi, and yet I have to always know that there's a shot something could go wrong with it, I might not get one, etc! So the opposite of you I guess. :))

If having a plan makes you feel better then go for it, and just make sure to include having your dh help you get another nurse if necessary. If it makes you feel better my nurses did seem glad I was getting an epi, but someone was coming in wanting to go natural and they (from what part of their convo I heard) were supportive of her too. I think the majority of nurses are good!

Lame. I had a birth plan, and I didn't have a c-section! Admittedly, due to complications my plan didn't work out but I think in most circumstances it's totally doable. Stay strong!

Yeah, that's obnoxious. Its one thing to remind people to keep an open mind but it almost seems like they're rooting against you with those sorts of comments.

@indi: what the what? Birth plans are a great way for you to do your research and a great way to open communication between you and the staff when you arrive to give birth. Everyone read mine and was respectful and asked questions if necessary.

Nurses are so hit or miss! My l and d was my bff but the hospital stay nurse was a nightmare!

I view birth plans as very responsible. And I am ever grateful that my birth went even better than I could have imagined.

@Arden: I was going to say the same thing! ABSOLUTELY - if you are not happy, ask for a different nurse. Nurses get "fired" all the time!

It definitely is nurse-dependent, though. My first nurse when we checked in kind of laughed when I said I'd like to try to go med-free. My next nurses were unbelievably supportive, and even helped me with breathing exercises, reminded me to try different positions, and reminded my husband of the various massages and stuff he could do to help. When I decided I needed an epidural so that I could actually get some sleep afer being awake for 30+ hours, they knew how hard that decision was for me and sat with me, held my hands while I cried, and reassured me that I was making a good decision for myself and my baby.

That's an awful thing to say to someone. I feel like that nurse probably sees more c-sections because she's so unsupportive of her labouring moms!

That's terrible. I guess nurses can get jaded like anyone else. I had terrible nurses with my first baby. The labor and delivery nurse actually said to me "I don't know what you think you're going to accomplish pushing like that." Bitch! I was in too much pain and too scared to be composed enough to realize I could ask for a different nurse. I just begged her to tell me how I was "supposed" to push. And the recovery nurses were unfriendly and cut me off of ice water and cold juice (i was dying of thirst for icy cold drinks) because they said I'd never heal if I kept drinking so much cold liquid. Who wants to drink luke warm water and juice? Meanies.

At the hospital where I'm giving birth, they assign nurses based upon your birth plan. So if you are going med-free, you get the nurses with experience doing med-free births, and so on. I wonder if that is a policy at your hospital?

My doctor told me that at my last appointment, and advised me to do a med-free birth plan even if I wasn't sure I wanted to go med-free, so that I am assigned the kind of nurses who will let me walk around and not keep me strapped to the monitors the whole time.

Ask for a different nurse if you get one who is unsupportive! I kicked one of mine out, and it really changed the atmosphere in the room. I was glad I did it!

I know it is something medical professional feel, think, and talk about but it is completely inappropriate to voice it at a birth class or to their patients at all.
I think they just have seen so many people come in and so many women be destroyed emotionally when the perfect birth doesn't happen that it makes them expect it when they see someone come in with what they think will happen all written out. I know from several labour and delivery friends, they don't mind the simple birth plans that give the basic information but the giant wordy packets that woman sometimes write are hardly ever read. They just don't have the time.

Still 100% inappropriate to voice to the patients in a class.

Re: "but it sure is annoying to have to consider that I may be telling a nurse for the umpteenth time to PLEASE not offer me meds, etc."

Another thought. I was a doula once for a woman whose nurse was absolutely wretched - yelling at her, using racial slurs against her, telling her she smelled - it was insanity. She was too intimidated to say anything and spoke little English. The nurse thought nothing of me because I was the hippie doula. But when the husband spoke up, firmly but calmly, "There's no reason to speak to my wife that way," the room changed. So let DH know his role. You'll be very vulnerable and shouldn't have to defend yourself in that moment. But if he says, "Respect her wishes," they'll probably shut up.

Here's hoping none of this even happens, though!