These are copies of the letters I wrote both my kids when they were born....
I put them in the comments for readability as they are pretty long.
These are copies of the letters I wrote both my kids when they were born....
I put them in the comments for readability as they are pretty long.
apricot / 424 posts
Rose's birth story:
I wanted to write out your birth story because I think one day, when you are having your own children or before, it might be interesting to you. Your birth was uncomplicated and not all that bad! I like to use the word tolerable because it was hard and exhausting, but really not too terrible.
It all started on Tuesday the 10th. I had a doctor’s appointment (at Bedford Commons OGBYN) at 9:00am. The appointment was with Dr. Rounds. I had her for a lot of my doctor’s appointments actually, so imagine my surprise when she was actually the doctor on when you were delivered. Dr. Rounds checked me for the first time for dilation (this practice doesn't do a physical check until you are at your due date, which was the previous Saturday and I had an appointment the Friday before so they didn't check me then). I wasn’t dilated at all, but I was 50% effaced. They say that dilation really is no indication of labor, and I guess they are right because I went into labor about 13 hours later.
Dad and I had dinner plans with my cousin LisaJo and James that night. Around 6:30 we went to 900 Degrees in Manchester for pizza. I had their “Americana pizza”, which is really just cheese. I went home, watched some TV with Dad, and went to bed around 9:30.
At 10:30 that night I started to feel really crampy. I realized after about 3 cramps that this was actually contractions and I started timing them with this app that I had in my phone. The hard part was the doctor told me to call when they were 5-1-1 (5 minutes apart and one minute long for an hour). Well my contractions went like 5-30-2, 3-25-5, 9-1-2, 3-45-2, etc. and had no pattern so I wasn't sure when to call. Finally around 1:00am I was like this is bad and it had been going on for awhile with all of them under 5 minutes apart so I had Dad call the doctor (I couldn't really talk during a contraction so I wanted him to call). They told us to come in, so we got to the hospital around 2am. Dad called Grammie JoJo and Opa, Memere and Papou, and texted Aunt Allison at that time.
There were a lot of frost heaves on the roads from a really bad winter, so Dad was driving really slow so that I didn’t bounce around too much on the bumps. I has really hurting though, so I told him not to worry about the bumps and just get to the hospital. It was the middle of the night so we had to enter through the emergency room entrance. Once I got there the nice woman at the window insisted I get a wheelchair, even though I wanted to walk. I needed the wheelchair once a contraction started though, so I’m glad she insisted.
When I got up to the maternity floor, I thought for sure they would check me and send me home, but I was 5cm dilated already so I stayed. It took awhile to get through the paperwork and the questions they ask you when checking in (even though I preregistered). This part was frustrating for me because I really just wanted some medicine.
I was excited to try Nitrous Oxide, because it was fairly new in the US and I had read really great things about how it takes the edge off just enough to sometimes not need an epidural. I only used it about 10 minutes though, because it did nothing for me. I think the problem there might have been my technique. I felt claustrophobic breathing out into the mask, so I kept pulling it away and I think that affected the delivery.
So next I got into the tub and had Newbane. At this point I was 8cm dilated. I LOVED the warm tub water surrounding me (my water hadn't broken so the tub was ok). The newbane was great too, I still felt contractions but I just didn't really care that much. The best part of it was how I felt between contractions... very relaxed! The problem was, for me the effects wore off after an hour and you could only get another dose every 3 hours. So that is when I asked for an epidural and they took me out of the tub.
Turns out the anesthesiologist was in surgery with someone else, so they asked me if I could wait or they could call in the on call person. I felt bad with someone getting called in at 4:30am, so I said I could wait. I didn't realize how much longer it could be though and really regret saying I would wait.
Grammie JoJo and Opa came to the hospital to wait around 3am and Memere and Papou got there at 5:30am or so. I think Aunt Allison and Uncle Steve were there around 8am. Cousin Jay and Aunt G also came by to wait for your arrival.
At 7am there was a nurse shift change and I was 9.5cm dilated and I finally got the epidural. That was the best thing I could of done. I had wanted to see if I could do it without it, but next time I'll get it earlier. I got the epidural at 7am and you were born at 12:47pm, so it definitely did not feel the same at the end as it did at the beginning. I felt a lot, but not so much I would scream or anything. In fact the entire labor I was silent. I still felt when I was having a contraction and I still felt pain, but again it was all tolerable. I just pretended I was at the beach with your Dad in St. Croix and it kind of helped.
Dad’s cousin Sarah came to the hospital sometime in the morning. She left when Dad thought it was safe to go to let her dog out (because she had just worked an overnight shift at Concord Hospital in Labor and Delivery). While she was gone the doctor thought it was time to push. So I started pushing at 9am for the first time. Dad held my leg, but he was really squeamish, so I could see on his face that he was freaking out that he let Sarah leave. Turns out I only did 3 pushes (during one contraction) when the doctor thought I should wait 45 more minutes to "labor down". That is when you just wait and let your body push the baby down a bit more naturally so you don't exhaust yourself pushing so much. During that time there was a doctor shift change (now I had Dr. Rounds) and cousin Sarah came back (much to Dad’s relief).
So around 10 I started pushing for real with the nurse holding one of my legs and cousin Sarah holding the other. Dad sat in a chair near my head and faced the wall most of the time. He was really worried and didn’t want to see anything. I couldn’t blame him though. They asked me if I wanted a mirror and I told them no way! I was just as squeamish as Dad, but I had no choice. After that they were really great about putting a drape over my legs when I wasn’t pushing. I pushed 3 times for 10 seconds each with only a small breath between every contraction, which at this point was every 2 minutes. Total I pushed for 3 hours. It was like running a marathon. I was SO tired. The blood vessels in my eyes burst (so the whites were brown) and my whole face swelled up so bad I couldn't really even open my eyes at the end. Dad likes to say I looked like I got in a fight with Mike Tyson. Your head was actually right there almost the entire time, so I thought I wouldn’t have had to push so long, but you were facing the ceiling instead of the floor and your hand was up by your head so that is what took so long.
There was meconium in me (which they said is very typical when you are overdue which I was by 4 days), so they had the NICU there just in case you had trouble due to breathing in the meconium. The doctor didn't want to hear you cry right when you came out, in order to clean you before your first breath. You cried right away anyway though, but there were no issues.
One thing I wish I knew was that once your head was out, I should stop pushing or you tear. The doctor and nurse told me that in the moment, but you get so excited that it is almost over that you keep pushing until they start telling you to stop. If I had known before that moment I might have stopped sooner. I had a very small tear, but just a few dissolvable stitches.
It was a good 30-40 seconds after you were born before I finally asked cousin Sarah if you were a boy or a girl. I had thought for sure you would be a boy, so I was so shocked I asked “really?” a few times. I think the doctor and nurse were too busy making sure you were ok to tell me right away your gender, or perhaps they forgot that we didn’t know, but it seemed like it took forever. Dad went out to the waiting room to tell everyone about your arrival while you and I did skin to skin contact with a heated blanket over us. I didn’t do the skin to skin contact for too long, because honestly I hadn’t really seen you yet and it was so hard at that angle to see your face. I heard them announce your Apgar scores of 8 and 9 (I’m not sure why there were two), and I knew that 10 was the best so I relaxed and felt good that you scored so well.
The worst part of the whole thing may have been when they pressed on my stomach afterward to help my uterus contract back. That was awful. They do it every 15 minutes for 24 hours maybe (I forget how long). Only the first few times they do it it hurts really bad, the other times are just uncomfortable. It is brutal though, I grabbed Dad’s hand harder the first time they did that than I did any other time.
Dad thinks I was crazy, but I asked for a cheeseburger not long after your were born. I hadn’t eaten in 19 or so hours and I had been awake the entire time, so I was hungry. After I had that the nurse helped me walk to the bathroom and I got in a wheelchair to move to the other side of the floor where you stay for a few days. Dad got to ring a bell that plays a verse of Brahms Lullaby throughout the entire hospital when a baby is born. I had heard it playing a few times while I was in labor, which was frustrating because it felt like everyone else was having their baby and I wasn’t. So it was nice to hear it play for you.
We had the best room at Elliot Hospital. It was the corner room and it was much larger than the rest and had a beautiful view of Manchester. We had so many visitors over the next few days I couldn’t even list everyone and the beautiful gifts you got. I remember cousin Michelle brought me chinese food from Aloha (complete with my favorite extra bread and butter) and cousin Sarah brought me my favorite wine. I felt a little strange drinking a glass of wine in the hospital, but I wasn’t breastfeeding and the nurse that delivered you told me it was fine. She had found out I liked wine and missed having it while pregnant, so she even tried to use it as motivation to help me push. Cousin Jay’s wife Holly brought you a few things, but most special to me was a balloon that said “It’s a Girl”. It seems silly, but that was so special to me. Grammie JoJo and Opa gave you a single yellow Rose. I’m sure you will be getting lots of those throughout the years, hopefully you like them!
I never really had much pain after labor. They gave me motrin and frozen pads for about 24 hours, but after that I never felt anything bad so I didn’t request any more. I was up and showered the very next day and out of bed sitting in the chair instead. When I got home I had two or three moments of bad cramps and nausea but that was it.
I got my period back when you were 10 weeks old. It started with horrible cramping, almost as bad as labor contractions. The first day was very heavy, but after that it was light and ended after only 4 days, which is very normal for me.
So that is the story of your birth. I hope one day you read it and find it interesting or helpful.
Love,
Mom
apricot / 424 posts
Wesley's birth story:
I wanted to write out your birth story because I think one day, when you are having your own children or before, it might be interesting to you. Your birth was so fast it was hard to process.
I woke up 5 minutes before my alarm went off for work on Thursday May 5, 2016. I felt a slight cramp and wondered if I should go to work that day. I realized I lost my mucus plug, but sometimes that can happen a few days before delivery so I still wasn’t sure if I should go to work. I actually texted Aunt Nicole because she was a labor and delivery nurse and I thought I should get her opinion. She was obviously asleep so I got in the shower still thinking I was going to work as it was still a week before your due date.
Fifteen minutes later I texted Nicole back that I definitely wasn’t going to work because I was really crampy. I tried to let your dad sleep because I thought there wasn’t anything he could do for me anyway. At the time I thought he would be able to sleep until Rose got up around 6:30 and he could get her up and off to daycare. I realized quickly though that I was having very little time between contractions. They were only 30 seconds long (they are supposed to be a minute long before going to the hospital for 1 hr) but there was only about 3 minutes between them right from the get go (they are supposed to be 5 minutes apart before going to the hospital). So needless to say Dad heard me trying to breathe through the pain and woke up.
We still thought there would be more time, but good thing Dad called Papou to come over for Rose because you were coming quickly. At this point I had been in labor for about an hour and there was no time between contractions anymore. I had a very hard time getting dressed and down to the truck but I managed. I thought I might have to call an ambulance because I could barely walk. It was a chilly morning, but I was so hot I insisted on not grabbing a coat even though I was only wearing a tank top and crop yoga pants. Poor Dad had to try to talk to me, but I could only speak in one word answers.
I was in the truck when Papou pulled in and Dad was waiting for him inside. I was so thankful he came quick because I wanted to get to the hospital really bad. Once Dad gave Papou instructions on Rose he got into the truck and we were off. He drove really fast to the hospital, and I’m pretty sure he ran a red light and went in a left turning lane only to roll down the window and tell the guy next to us I was in labor and cut him off to go straight. I had my eyes shut the entire ride just trying to breathe.
When we got to the hospital we had to enter through the emergency room entrance because it was still early. As soon as I stepped out of the truck and into a wheelchair my water broke. Again I shut my eyes while they got a labor and delivery nurse to bring me up to the maternity ward. Turns out the nurse that brought me up was one of my day nurses the next day while in recovery. I never opened my eyes so she had to tell me when she recognized me.
I got up into the maternity ward and the rest starts to become a little bit of a blur. I had a very hard time getting into the bed and the nurse checked me and immediately called the doctor in. I was 9 centimeters dilated and everything was moving very fast. Dr. Fletcher Wilson came in and put on his scrubs, which I realized meant you were coming now. With Rose the doctor wasn’t present for hours until I started pushing. I asked for an epidural, and they were very nice about not directly telling me no, as it would have crushed me. They said things like, “I don’t think we will have time for that” and “probably not”. I knew that it wasn’t going to happen though and it was really scary.
When I couldn’t get the epidural I asked if I could have the nitrous oxide gas. I had tried that with Rose and didn’t have any luck with it, but I think that was because I felt claustrophobic in the mask and didn’t keep it to my face for very long. I knew my contractions were too strong in order to sit still for an IV medicine though, so this was my only option. They gave me the gas and said I could breathe it in between contractions, but it was time to push and I couldn’t breathe it while pushing.
I never was able to get a gown on, never had an IV, never did the registration or consent paperwork. It all went so fast. I got to the hospital at 6:45am and you were born at 7:15am. The doctor told me to push and I did as hard as I could. In between the first and second pushing I took a bit too much of the gas and got a bit loopy. I remember hearing some sort of beep get louder and faster and I felt myself fading into a faint. I pulled the mask away from my face at the orders of the doctor and it immediately went away, but that was scary. It felt like an out of body experience. From then on between pushing I breathed the gas in much slower.
Dad was such a great support person. He didn’t think he would be able to do it, but he held my hand and told me that I could do it. I really needed that with how fast it was going and no pain medication because I was really scared.
After just a few pushed and maybe 15 minutes you were out. I was exhausted, but it wasn’t that bad as I didn’t push for that long. It didn’t hit me that you were even here for awhile because I never got any time to process it all. I asked what your Apgar scores were and you got a 9 and 10. Almost no one get a 10, so that was really good.
The next thing I know the doctor is saying that the umbilical cord had a “true knot” which is incredibly rare. I looked it up later and only 1 in 2000 births result in a true knot. It is actually a very scary thing and if my labor had gone longer it could have been really dangerous. Lucky for us everything went really quick.
Your name was originally Wesley Nicholas, but only for a few seconds. Your dad asked me if it could be Wesley Michael and I agreed that it sounded nice and that was what we decided.
The nurse came in and gave you a bath while I ordered some breakfast. I think I got an egg sandwich and an orange. There wasn’t anyone in the waiting room because it all happened so fast. Grammie JoJo and Opa were already scheduled to fly up from Florida that day so Dad was able to tell them you were born when they were boarding the plane. Memere was at Dunkin Donuts getting Papou a coffee on her way to our house when Dad texted her a picture of you. Everyone else found out quickly by text message.
So that is the story of your birth. I hope one day you read it and find it interesting or helpful.
Love,
Mom
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