Anyone else trying and bitter about it? After a few cycles of trying without success, TTC has lost it's exciting shine and now is not fun, frustrating, and kind of a little annoying. Scheduled BD's (and them getting messed up when DH is tired... great.) All the $ down the drain on negative OPK's. 50 lbs gone, metformin, and running as a hobby... and still nothing. All as friends get BFP's left and right? Anyone else just so bitter about this process? As DH said after I explained the whole process IN DETAIL to him, "it takes that much? ...then how do all those athletes have so many kids?"
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Sorry you're having a tough time! ((((((hugs)))))) Don't mean to be annoying, but are you charting as well? I'm sure you are doing everything you can, but if you haven't started charting that might be a good way to get a gauge on your cycles if that is potentially an issue.
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I have definitely been there. I am so sorry you have to go through this.
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Yup, I know all about being bitter and sad. I'm on cycle 11/12 of TTC with a failed IUI under my belt. I'm not mad at pregnant friends, (I'm happy for them; getting pregnant is an absolute miracle.) I'm just jealous and mad that I can't have it as easy as they do.
I've had a rough two weeks. Although, today I feel a little bit better. I had a good/ sad cry last night. I was trying to stay strong but getting all that emotion out really helped.
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It can be really frustrating! I've always tried to remember that those friends getting BFPs left and right? I don't know how long they were trying or what was happening behind closed doors, really. Good luck.
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I'm sorry you are having a rough time. Hang in there.
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I hope you get a BFP soon!!!
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Definitely been there. I remember crying nearly every day . I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
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me over here. it's been two years and one month. we've done all of the fertility tests and there's nothing wrong with either of us. all of our numbers are either great or fantastic. but it just hasn't been happening. our first year was NTNP, then the first 9 months of year two was charting, OPKs, and temps. and the last 4 months have been fertility treatments (clomid and IUI) and still nothing. and of course, my friends are starting to have second children now. so yes..i totally feel you. just the last 2 months, my desire to have children is starting to wane. i hate doing fertility treatments and then still having BFN. i don't even want children anymore. so i've been in a major slump about it. i wish i had an answer for you, but i'm still looking for one myself. but just know that you're not the only one..
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Thanks everyone, good to know I'm not alone! It's so weird to feel so thrilled for someone but have it make me sadder. I am a baby loooover with like 1000 o's, so baby news is always joyous! I have to remind myself that there isn't a set # of babies allowed and them getting theirs doesn't mean I won't get mine. And @tororojo: I have been charting, I haven't had luck with temps though. They've been all over the place. My OBGYN looked at them and said I didn't have to do them, just OPK's, for these 3 cycles. I think because I don't get up until 7:45, and usually toss and turn a lot (probably wake up into semi-conciousnes a few times) before then, it's not a good temp. I still use FF and track everything else though, including other signs.
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@everbee: hugs. You put it really eloquently how I feel some days. We're still trying to figure out what's going on with us physically. As I put away my neg OPK today I was thinking about the time/$ spent to GET preg that many people spend the same amount of time/$ trying to NOT to, or do NOTHING and get preg (my SIL who didn't use a condom, just ONCE.) It's all so funny in a not enjoyable way how this works. I'm analytical so I wish there was an easy A + B = C formula for this!
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@everbee: I feel ya. Although, we have been actively trying for about a year, I started our TTC process 2 years ago. Baby fever is on overdrive at this point. Also, my test results are normal, too. DH's results have been ehhh fair/poor. I think the worse was my doctor told me that it's more common to have female infertility than male infertility. Basically saying, it's probably my fault! Thanks lady! She could have given me some reasons why it might be my fault. You know test results or something. I want every single test done!
She even shot down using a sperm donator. Well, she wants to wait for a couple more IUI cycles.
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Definitely felt this way, which is why we are taking a break. It became such a thing that I dreaded, instead of something exciting, and it was taking a huge toll on my marriage. It was really counterproductive, really, because all the fights that TTC caused between DH and I were delaying O and causing completely unpredictable cycles because i was so stressed - there was no way that I was going to get pregnant in that environment. So I was a little disappointed to take a break, but I feel so much better these days. We're only taking a couple months off, but pregnancy announcements don't even bother me now and they used to make me so upset!
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I totally understand. It only took us 2 TTC cycles to get a BFP, but it was a long road to be able to start trying since I was diagnosed with PCOS and we had to go to a RE. I also wasted a ton of $ on OPK's and FRER's so finally my last cycle I ordered the cheapie wondfo's on Amazon. They worked great and of course that's the cycle I got my BFP, once I was using the cheap stuff.
I remember though right before I got the BFP there was a slew of Christmas pregnancy announcements. One after the other, boom-boom-boom. It's really hard to be 100% happy for people when you are trying and it's not working (or just taking forever) so that was really upsetting.
Hang in there and just take it one day at a time! What helped me was planning out a vacation or a big purchase for every cycle that it didn't work. If I hadn't gotten pregnant this past cycle we would be going to Tahiti for our anniversary!
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Yup, yup. I got so irritated with the whole process that we opted to take a break and I stopped taking my Clomid. Aaaaand then I got pregnant.
Hope it happens for you soon! I just kept reminding myself that I was still within the "normal and acceptable" range every time it didn't happen. You know, until we were out of the normal range
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Yup, super bitter. We've been trying for 2 weeks shy of a year now, so we're totally over the whole thing too at this point.
I'm so bitter these days that when someone at work asked me as a joke if I was also pregnant (2 other ladies at work are pregnant and it is a very small group) I said "not everyone can just snap their fingers and have it happen." I felt bad immediately for saying it.... oh well.
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@Modern Daisy: That's a good idea. I did buy a slew of 'make me feel better gifts' this week. I finally bought myself a cricut! I've been holding out because I didn't need it but I finally bought it because there was a great online deal. I wish I started buying myself monthly gifts after I hit month 6.
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Yes yes yes. I am so annoyed with all of it. I know I should feel happy for friends who get KU..but i'm not. TTC has turned me into a sad, jealous, bitter person. If it doesn't happen this month i'm going to really buckle down about it. I could have a baby right now if I had gotten pregnant the first month.
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@alayaya, well that's a rude thing for your coworkers to say, so they deserve to be snapped at. Don't feel bad! It's not really a funny "joke". Those jokes STILL piss me off, along with the "FINALLY!" exasperated type comments. Nope, shut that crap down!
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hey - i totally feel your pain. it took us about 8 months and then we got pregnant. It was very frustrating and yes, everyone and their mom got pregnant around me except for me. I think I quite Facebook for a while because I couldn't deal. I really let it stress me out, and the month I stopped caring & focused on other things is the month we got pregnant! try to keep positive, and treat yourself to small things that make you happy!
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Everyone I know either got accidentally pregnant, or pregnant on the first try. Took me four damn rounds of clomid. I feel your pain, and remember it well. There is an end in sight, you will be a mother. I know that doesn't help when you're in it, though.
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@sarac: I know what is WITH the not trying and it happening people! So jealous! I had to ask my SIL to tone it down with what she says to me... she knows we're trying and yet I CONSTANTLY get "I could just cry he's so amazing" "I never knew love like this" "I am so happy and lucky" texts and emails. I was like um you don't know what trying is like so here's what it feels like to be TTC unsuccessfully and getting those messages- LIKE CRAP!!!!!!! She was like "you're right, I don't know what it's like to have to try." Lucky you. haha. Seriously wondering why I bothered trying to PREVENT pregnancy back in the day since apparently I didn't need to! haha
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@KJfromNJ: ok...i had the same thought a few days ago...that i should have never gone on birth control, and at this point i will not go on birth control after i have my 1st...i hate that crap...
so i am tyring to be proactive and emailed my Dr. to see if we could run some tests to see what the F is happening and why i havent gotten pregnant yet...
she told be i am "anxious", bitch (sorry) your straight right i am "anxious", if you cant tell it hasnt happened yet, and it seems that i am the only one concerned about that...its crap that you wont take me seriously because i haven't been trying for a year...but that is B/S....if i want tests done i should be able to get tests done...arrrrrhhhhhh!!!!
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@MrsCastro: Even with the healthiest person it could take a few cycles to conceive, so I don't know why doctors wouldn't be as proactive as those who are TTC seem to be! It's so bizarre. A friend suggested I go to an RE if my doc isn't moving fast enough, and I don't know why I didn't think of that. (Maybe because moving screws up EVERYTHING and I hate finding new doctors.) PCOS isn't just a reproductive issue- many with PCOS are insulin resistant and can develop diabetes... and then there are the hormonal issues, aka my acne/hair loss/oily skin/dandruff... these things all need to be treated proactively as well. I saw an endocrinologist when I was diagnosed... maybe try to see one if you really think you might have PCOS. My OBGYN was like "oh you have regular periods that's great! All the exercise and Metformin will help you ovulate." Well maybe... but why wait for Clomid? I dunno, I guess we have to all be better advocates for our health care, if anything just to know. I wish I had asked why she was waiting 3 cycles for me to start Clomid!!!!
Sorry you're having a tough time! ((((((hugs)))))) 
She even shot down using a sperm donator. Well, she wants to wait for a couple more IUI cycles.
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