So a lot of you probably remember that we've had a rough road feeding our LO. I don't want to get into the whole history-- but basically it comes down to reflux, food allergies (dairy/soy) leading to switching her entirely to nutramigen, and a long battle over food refusal wherein we spent several weeks having to feed her only while she slept bc she screamed every time we tried to feed her while she was awake.

At this point I'd say that things are... okay. They are sustainable. She's eating enough. But she's still a challenging eater.

Basically she ONLY wants to eat right before a nap. Even first thing in the morning when she hasn't eaten for 11 or 12 hours, if you stick a bottle in her mouth she just turns her head and refuses to eat. In order for her to eat it has to be just before a nap. I swaddle her up, sit down in the glider in our room, turn the fan and white noise on, and she (usually) eats great. If she isn't swaddled, if the fan isn't on, if there is anything else going on in the room (tv on, someone talking), she won't eat. If we're not in the bedroom in the glider, she won't eat. If she isn't tired, she won't eat. If she's TOO tired, she won't eat.

I'm pretty good at reading her sleepy cues at this point and I SAH with her so feeding her this way is do-able and she's eating without screaming and eating enough so I'm happy(ish)...

But I'd really like to break the habit of her only eating in this exceedingly specific way for several reasons. First, she is 4mo and at some point in the next month I think we'll have to swaddle wean and I don't know how that will affect her eating. Also I think we'll end up sleep training at some point and that may complicate things. Also she has reflux which means she has to be held for 20 min after eating, which will complicate the sleep training since I can't just feed her and set her down. Also we're trapped in the house all the time because I can't feed her anywhere other than home ever and I also can't let her get overtired because then I know she won't eat and i'll have to wait through another nap and another awake period before she'll eat again.

I still offer her food in other circumstances regularly. When she wakes, mid-way between naps, in our room but not at the "right" time, downstairs without the tv on, etc. Sometimes she'll take maybe an ounce, but then she's done.

Has anyone dealt with anything like this? any tips to move her towards being able to eat at other times/in other places?

ETA: the old adage of "a baby won't starve themselves" is not actually true for us. She's gone like 10 waking hours without eating before. And at this point if we do miss a chance to feed her (usually bc she gets overtired then refuses to eat before her nap), she still naps, then wakes up super cranky and clearly hungry but STILL refuses to eat until right before her next nap. So just "let her get hungry enough" does not seem to work for her.