Hellobee Boards

Eh… iffy. I think they generally probably should be an exception but maybe not everyone agrees. I had a child free wedding and did explicitly tell my one guest with a breastfed child that he was invited as well. But I'd verify just to avoid an issue.

I never heard or saw that one. I had a child free (technically) wedding but a friend asked and I said they could bring the baby. Didn't know if she was breastfeeding though.

@Foodnerd81: I think it's up to the host/couple.

Interesting, I have never heard of that one!

For me I'd either include children or exclude all children, to be honest. I am assuming people want child-free events because they don't want to hear baby cries in the middle of something, and breastfed babies do cry! So I don't really see a point. Besides, if I were a guest, I'd either be good enough friends to come and have someone watch my baby for an afternoon (they can take bottles of breastmilk!), or not come at all and stay with my child (if they don't take bottles). But that's just me.

No kids to me would mean no kids.
Maybe an exception for a very close friend or family that was traveling.
I had to decline a few invites when J was small.

Either include them all, or none....I think there is no real place to draw the line...

I've never heard of this, seems like a delicate area. I mean how would other guests who weren't allowed to bring their kid feel in this situation, particularly as it wouldn't be clear how the baby was being fed.
Personally, it wouldn't matter how they were fed at any event, it would either be all kids in or all kids out.
I had only nieces and nephews at our wedding and the youngest was about three so it wasn't an issue.

I never really thought about this until now that I have a 5 week old EBF baby. Although it's not a wedding, I am invited to a baby shower this weekend. I asked the host if it would be okay to bring my baby to the shower depending on whether or not pumping and bottle feeding would work out. Just gave DS2 his first bottle last night, and it was a success so I most likely will go without him.

I think if it was a close family member and their baby was feeding solely on breast milk (ie 6 months or so and younger), then yes, I would expect an exception to be made, or accept that the parent is not going to attend the wedding. EBF babies are very difficult to leave, especially if you're a SAHM and don't pump often and/or your baby doesn't take a bottle.

Personally, if a close family member (sibling) told me I wasn't allowed to bring my EBF young infant to their wedding, I would be extremely hurt, knowing that their exclusion meant I was not going to be able to attend either. For friends and extended family, I think it really comes down to the individual and how badly you want them to attend your wedding (you in the general sense).

I definitely agree with @Mrs. Jump Rope, it's an invitation, not a summons, so if you have other obligations that take precedence, so be it.

@Foodnerd81: I think it probably is a true statement that a formula fed baby is less dependent on his mother's physical presence. Doesn't mean that baby and mama are any less bonded to each other. But being the food source does make a difference in being able to be away from your baby.

@MamaMoose: not everyone knows to look at how an envelope is addressed. You may not agree with having an adults only event, but they exist. Etiquette dictates that special information -- adults only, black tie, etc. -- appear on the invitation.

ETA: I'm not saying I'm for or against adult only events, but stating that they exist. The industry standard says the information is provided in italics on the bottom right corner of the invitation IN ADDITION to the envelope being correctly addressed.

No. We had an adults only wedding, and I didn't consider whether they were breastfeeding or not. As in, I didn't ask or want to inquire whether or not they were breastfeeding. That would've been weird for me or MIL to call DH's family friends and ask as they are super private and conservative. So, we just left it at a child-free wedding, and only addressed the invitation to the parents. We also didn't do plus ones, but that was a whole different saga lol.

@Foodnerd81: Yeah, it's definitely not as easy as "oh if she's hungry, she'll eat!" My LO has taken a total of maybe ten bottles in her life (she's 17 months now) and there is no way I would have left her for several hours, hoping she would magically take one from a babysitter. It sucks your sister got grumpy with you for taking too long to pump, people just have no idea sometimes!

To clarify my point from earlier, I think it's fine not to make an exception for EBF babies; however, by doing so, you remove any right to be grumpy if the parents don't attend the wedding. That is what gets me I think - when people say no babies allowed but then can't understand why parents don't attend and take it as a personal insult that they would prioritise their child over a wedding. Or even better, when they then make flippant or snide remarks about parents being 'too attached' and not able to leave their baby. Drives me nuts!

Yup, exception. We had a kid free wedding, but two babies came, which was great! I don't know how they were fed, but that wasn't a factor. Our venue was tiny and really old, so definitely not kid friendly, but If I hadn't allowed babies, my friends wouldn't have been able to come, and then why bother inviting them! We only invited people we really wanted to be there.

If someone had come to me and said they couldn't find a sitter or something, and their child needed to come with them, I probably would have said yes in that situation too.

ETA: I would never assume either, I would ask first.

I agree that an exception should be granted on a case by case basis between the host and the mother. If I was in that situation, I would simply say, "I'm sorry I will have to decline because I will need to feed my child during that time. If there was a way to accommodate him or her then we would be more than happy to attend.".

I always thought, etiquette-wise, that breastfeeding infants were the exception.

We are going to be invited to a wedding when our baby will be about four months old. The groom is a longtime friend of my husband's, and my MIL is invited as well. It's a destination wedding involving a 4-5 hour car ride. If the baby is not invited, I may just choose to stay home because the logistics will be extremely annoying. I don't expect to be comfortable or willing to leave my 4mo baby for at least two nights, and to be honest I don't really want to pay for a second hotel room and find a sitter to bring along. It will depend on how strongly my husband feels about me attending the wedding, but I will probably push to stay home with the baby if he is not welcome at the reception. I would be willing to skip the ceremony if the bride and groom are worried about noise, though normally I dislike doing that. I guess we'll see what the invitation says and then take it from there. I guess it will probably arrive shortly after the baby is born!

A child-free wedding is a child-free wedding. Nursimg mothers xshould send their regrets.

To me, adults only means adults only. If you can't leave your LO, you can't come. A baby, even a few weeks old, changes the dynamic of a party/event.