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I'm so sorry you are feeling frustrated like this - I can totally understand. For me, I had to exclusively pump for the first three weeks since he couldn't breastfeed, so I don't have the same experience but it wasn't until about 2.5 weeks that I started to enjoy the baby. The early days are rough no matter what.

We started to breastfeed at week three and the cluster feeding has taken a toll on me as well. Sometimes I feel resentful that I HAVE to feed him all the time and nobody can help. But at the same time I know the breastmilk is so important.

I do think it gets better. Just take it one day, or one hour!, at a time.

Awe hun it's ok to feel frustrated! BFing is really really hard especially in the beginning. You go from being pregnant to being this hormonal mess with a person literally attached to you in a blink of an eye so it's a really hard adjustment I know! I too had a sleepy nurser and nothing really changed that for me either unfortunately. Some things that got me through those first couple weeks and months:
- have family or friends or DH cook for you and bring food to you. Premade foods like bagels are easy to eat with a baby on the boob and always keep snacks like trail mix next to your chair along with water that you can have. Mommy needs to be taken care of too!
-invest in something like Nexflix or amazon prime and keep your computer or I pad handy. That is the only thing that got me through dose middle of the night and hour long nursing sessions
- take part in BFing support groups like La Leche League. I joined about 5 months and I so wish I went sooner!
- and finally know it gets better! BFing is a relationship and will become easier as you and your little one get the hang of things. We had every problem in the book but im so glad we stuck with it! And believe it or not there will get to be a day your LO takes 5 minutes and you'll even wish they took longer so you could have a breather! But hang in there you sound like you're working really hard and doing everything right!

I'm definitely not an LC and I don't even have all that much experience (LO is 3 weeks old) but I don't see the harm of an occasional pump session to give your nipples a break and to give DH a chance to help with the feedings.

I hope things get better for you, you're doing an amazing job!

It will get better, I promise. Always keep food in arms reach or have someone bring it to you. I haven't been at itong, but on the days I'm tired and feel like all DS wants to do is eat I remember that I'm doing this for him and not every day is bad.

It will get better!!! I also had cracks and used the apno and that stuff is amazing. How long have you been using it? I second d te recommendation of mother love nipple cream, I would maybe try alternating.

The beginning is so so so hard but you will be so glad you stuck with it when you get to like 6-8 wks...baby will be so much more efficient and the pain WILL go away.

Is she truly eating the whole time she's on you or is she comfort sucking?we personally introduced a paci at about 2 wks old to help my nips when LO just wanted to suck.

Also pumping a few times a week is not going to cause an oversupply, I don't think...I recommend that as well to get a break ad let your nips rest!! Hang in there.

It does get better. I don't believe my mom when she told me that but it really is true. I tried just about everything to help the soreness. I had DH bring home a cabbage to try cold cabbage leaves to help with the soreness. I read that somewhere.

Being distracted helped. I watched a lot of Everybody Loves Raymond. I preferred comedies because the late night feedings were creepy in the quiet house.

I set up a nest for myself with what I needed close by and just tried to get through each day.

and then...it got better and easier.

I swear it will get easier!!!! You are doing great, hang in there mama!!!! My LO was a huge cluster feeder and literally cluster fed for pretty much the first 6 weeks of life. Sooooo many times I said, "that's it! We're buying formula tomorrow!!" But I made it through that really tough first 6-8 weeks and now at 6 months pp, I absolutely love it and am soooooo sooo happy that I stuck with it. It really truly gets better, I couldn't see it ever getting better at the time, but one day, it just did. She is just feeding so frequently to increase your supply. My best advice is to just prepare yourself for all day/night feedings- get comfy on the couch, watch a series on tv, have snacks and water handy, and I swear she will not cluster feed forever!

Please believe me when I say that it will get better! I've been there. I was lucky enough to not have the pain, but the constant nursing was so tough on me. DS went thru a growth spurt when he was 2 weeks that lasted over a week. He was nursing every hour, sometimes less than an hour, ALL day. It was crazy exhausting. But it is so crucial for your supply to just let your baby nurse on demand. The constant nursing is signaling your body to make more milk. You will thank yourself later down the road when you have a good milk supply established. You're doing a great job! Hang in there. And if you want to quit or give formula, please give it a few more weeks.

Echoing the PPs that it does get better. So many hormones and things are happening now along with being the one to care for LO when she's nursing all the time can make you feel like its never going to get better and it will always hurt, but in a couple weeks, it will turn a corner and you'll be so glad you stuck it out! Concentrate on getting through the day or a week and reevaluate then. Making mini goals helps! Good luck mama. If you can't find a BFing support group, keep coming back here!

YOU ARE DOING GREAT! Breastfeeding is hard! It's trying & it's a choice that we moms make every. single. feeding! It sounds like you're doing everything right & hopefully your nipples will begin healing sooner rather than later! I'm sure you are already, but try some air time & breastmilk on them after each feeding with more air drying, breastmilk works wonders!

For your frustration, know this is normal & don't get down on yourself for feeling overwhelmed with the demand. Yes, it's normal but there really is no way to prepare for it! Because of lots of feeding issues, P didn't let me put her down for almost 5 months! I was touched out & overwhelmed.... But every feeding we have that chance again to make that choice again to continue!

This kellymom post was bookmarked on my phone & I read & re-read it OFTEN! It does get easier, I promise! You're doing great giving your lo what they were designed for! Don't give up! ((hugs))

http://kellymom.com/bf/normal/love-breastfeeding-24-7/

If a woman ever told me that she didn't consider quitting at some point during the first six weeks of breastfeeding I would call her a liar to her face!! Breastfeeding is tough stuff! But if you can power through the difficult weeks it is so so so worth it. My LO is five months old now and has never had anything but Breastmilk and I'm so happy (and proud!) that I stuck it out. Now when we are out and LO needs a snack I always marvel that I thought formula would be easier. It's so nice to have warm milk ready to go wherever we are! I promise it only gets better from here! You're doing great mama!!!

I promise promise promise promise it will get soooooooo much better.

A couple months from now you'll be thinking to yourself, "I can't believe I wanted to quit. This is a piece of cake." It will be like second nature.

Breastfeeding is so special...don't give up!!!

you're doing so well! it's going to get so much better i promise!

just keep doing what you're doing and it will get better!!!

and remember there is nothing wrong with pumping and giving LO bottles, to give you and the nips a break!! i was against pumping at the beginning, and i don't even remember why! it was one of the things that seriously saved my breastfeeding career.

when i needed a break i would have someone else (ie someone that doesn't smell like foooooood) hold LO while I relaxed in a different room. even if it was just for a few minutes and even if he was still crying the whole time it helped my sanity.

good luck mama, it will get better. sending lots of internet hugs your way

oh man it sucked at the beginning. bf'ing was not some special bonding experience--it was stressful, draining, and confusing. feeling like i wasn't "enjoying" my baby was an emotion i wasn't expecting and didn't know how to cope with--many of us have been there and it's completely normal. i can't say much in addition to what the others have said. yes it does get better, but i know that doesn't necessarily help you in the here and now. i considered exclusive pumping and formula many many times, and i still think those are great options.

one idea i did have--i'm not sure how much you're pumping, but one of my issues was that LO was such a sleepy nurser that he wasn't sucking enough to get my milk to flow (the milk was there, but he wasn't getting much). so i would pump for 10-15 minutes after every nursing session. i won't like it was a lot of work, but it helped because i would nurse him and then supplement with a bottle of pumped milk (at the very beginning we supplemented with formula, for about a week). i did this from day 5 and there has been no nipple confusion.

I think for me days 11-14 were the absolute worst. We dealt with a lazy latch, cracked nipples, thrush, and an initial weight loss of 11.8%. I lucked into a fabulous LC, and she changed our bfing relationship. By the third week we were in the glory days. LO is four months now and I love being able to feed her. It really does become second nature.

You are doing so well giving her a good start and I promise it gets better. So. Much. Better.

ETA holy cow, sorry this response is so long!

I could have written this post myself.

First of all, do NOT feel guilty for thinking about formula, or even using it. If that's your choice, it's your choice. THE most important thing is that your baby gets fed. It's also important for you to be of sound mind and mentally healthy.

Second, it's not too early to pump. I was also told in the hospital not to pump before 3 weeks. I myself waited until about 2.5 weeks so that DH could give DS the occasional bottle. But I don't think that pumping every now and then to give yourself a break is going to cause any long-term damage.

That being said, if you are committed to EBFing, I can tell you that it gets SIGNIFICANTLY better if you are able to stick with it.

We had latch issues in the beginning, and my nipples were always cracked and bleeding. DS has a high palate and tends to use his tongue to slow the flow when it's too fast for him. He also had issues opening his mouth wide enough in the beginning. All this led to a lot of pain for me, frustration for him, and just all-around misery. I dreaded every single nursing session. I often cursed and yelled when he latched on or just gritted my teeth through the entire feed. Once, when he was a week old and DH went to Target to buy a fan, I kicked over the coffee table and toppled water everywhere because the latch hurt so bad. We struggled for a few days when I got engorged because he couldn't latch on. I got clogged ducts and milk blisters. I was just generally miserable.

One night about a week or so in, I was sobbing in the kitchen trying to make formula through my tears, ready to give up, but horrified that I was giving up. DH finally talked me down and I decided to push through. When DH returned to work at 2 weeks, he often came home to find me sobbing, thrusting the baby at him, picking fights and just an all-around mess.

I decided my short-term goal for breastfeeding was the end of whatever week we were in. If I could just make it to Saturday, then I'd re-evaluate. My long-term goal was 6 weeks.

By 6 weeks, his latch was improving, the pain was subsiding, and while he was still cluster feeding in the evenings, I was just more mentally adjusted to it. I had come to expect it and was more comfortably with it. I knew I'd be camping out on the couch between the hours of 4 and 9, and had Netflix ready to go. I watched a lot of Grey's Anatomy. I had a lot of snacks on hand. I had just adjusted.

By 8 weeks, he'd stopped cluster feeding altogether and BF'ing had become a very satisfying experience for both of us. I had come to really treasure the bond between us, and he started grabbing onto my shirt while eating, smiling while eating when I'd talk to him, looking over at DH if he was sitting next to me. I love the little noises he makes while eating, the soft suckling and the little kitten sounds of being so satisfied. I love that I can provide that for him, and think it's fascinating that my body knows what to do and has created this perfect nutrition. Now that I'm back at work and pumping, I love that I'm generating milk for him while we're apart. Being able to bring bottles of breastmilk to daycare for him to enjoy while I'm away from him makes me feel secure, like we're still connecting through this food I've made for him. Being able to sit down with him in his room and put on some soft music after a day apart and just enjoy him and provide for him is just so wonderful.

All that to say, I am INFINITELY glad that I decided to stick with it. It was really something that I described as horrifying time and time again when I was going through it, and it did take me a good 6 weeks to get through the worst of it. In the beginning, when people would tell me that it got better around 2 weeks, 4 weeks, 6 weeks, I was DEVASTATED. That seemed like SUCH a long time. But now that I'm through it, I can barely remember how hard it was because now, it's so awesome.

That's just my personal experience, if you're looking for encouragement to keep going! But again, do not feel bad making an alternative decision. I have friends who ended up going to formula who really struggled with the decision and didn't want to but ultimately say it was the best thing they did. And I know people on this board who've done the same.

It WILL get better, you CAN do this. I remember crying, swearing up a storm (I feel bad now, but some f bombs were thrown), because it hurt so terribly bad the first few weeks. I remember staring into space at 3am because I was losing my mind. I was exhausted, it hurt like heck, and I felt like a cow. It wasn't but a week later and she was nursing on an every 3 hour period, it didn't hurt, I got more rest, and I felt so great that I followed thru with my plan. I told DH: "I'm done, I quit, this sucks, I'm over it, I can't do it" etc etc...but he encouraged and supported me, and that made all the difference. Now LO is 8 months old and we have a great nursing relationship. It was the best decision I made to continue breastfeeding. Hang in there, you will make it through this. Hugs!

@hergreenapples: I'm so glad you're feeling more encouraged! I tell you the first 4 months I lived in a state of being "touched out". It was SO frustrating b/c P was practically always attached to me! After she would go down for the night (her first stretch was usually a good 4 hours) I would cringe if DH even sat NEXT to me b/c my body needed some space to breathe!

Does your local group have a way to get connected through email? Even if you aren't overwhelmed by the time you can drive I think a breastfeeding group would be amazing! Getting together with other moms in a place where breastfeeding whenever needed is NORMAL & totally accepted is awesome.. I totally wish we had one here.

I love that your husband is so onboard with helping to encourage you too! DH made such a huge difference in me feeling like I could keep up breastfeeding, especially after I felt like there wasn't anything I *could* eat!

Just take 1 feeding at a time & don't fret about how tomorrow or next week will be.