Hellobee Boards

Oh-- and I also think there is an ick factor for a lot of people-- like boobs are for looking sexy, not for putting in a babies mouth. And breastmilk is a bodily fluid.

I think society in general is so focused on themselves anymore. People don't understand why you would keep sacrificing your body when you don't have to.

I'm having a lot of problems BFing, and everyone is telling me to give up (except DH, thank goodness). Even her pediatrician is telling me it's okay to stop! She's only 11 weeks... good grief people!

I think that it is a multitude of things: education (not many people know the scientific benefits) guilt (people who didn't BF), jealousy (mostly you feed the baby), cultural norms (every other baby is/was bottle fed), its too hard, etc.

I am personally all for breastfeeding but follow the golden rule of "feed the baby" either BF or FF but feed the baby.

I do wish there was more information readily available and that physicians (both OB and pediatricians) were all on the same page and provided moms with information. I feel I wouldnt be as successful as I am if I haden't done my own research and stuck to my guns even when it was freaking hard!

@T.H.O.U.: it's really funny about formula being the 'wealthy' thing to do because around here FF is looked at like you're WIC or welfare status.
I think it's great that my community is very pro-breastfeeding - there are lactation consultants and nursing boutiques all over:

http://www.isisparenting.com/page/learncategory?categoryCode=breastfeedingsupport

but the judgement from both sides has got to stop. It's hard enough being a new mom.
That's one thing I really love about HB, less judgement, more support.

@Bookworm: None of my family breastfed (not my mother, not my grandmother, and my aunt has no children), and I so wish I had their experience to draw from!

@rachiecakes: Yeah I think the tide has really shifted. Formula used to be what the "wealthy" fed their children, and now the wealthy are the ones who are able to breastfeed because they can afford the appointments with lactation consultants and have time to take breastfeeding classes because they don't work a blue collar job.

@highwire: My mom EBF me and my brother but she was a SAHM and she said she was the only one of all her friends to do so. It was great that she could understand and encourage my experience but when I went back to work at 7 weeks pp she didn't understand the whole pumping thing, haha..

@rachiecakes: My mom has been supportive of my breastfeeding journey even though she didn't breastfeed. But she did say to me "Ugh, seeing how much of a commitment this is makes me more glad I didn't try to breastfeed you."

Haha, keep that one to yourself, mom!

@highwire: yes! I suppose if I had stayed home it wouldn't have been so expensive but for me & returning to work, I needed a $350 pump (wasn't covered at the time DS was born), bottles, steam bags, nursing cover, hands-free bras, domperidone $180/month, I bought a car adapter so I could make use of my time and pump in the car.

@littlebittyhouse: thanks!!

@rachiecakes: luckily R is gaining weight, but I hate seeing her spit up, damn reflux, so much. But knowing BF is better then formula for it is helping me to keep going. The last couple days I think she is using me as a human pacifier and it just sucks. I hate feeling like I have to be here all the time to feed her. All the pressure on me, you know?

Did you stick with BF? How long?

@swurlygurl: DH works nights and he didn't want to leave that night because I was such a wreck.
FWIW, DS is 15 months old, eats everything in sight - pizza, ice cream, bread, cheese, etc. - and still has a hard time gaining weight. I think it has more to do with his parents being smaller people than not getting enough calories, but live & learn, right?

@Smurfette: From friends that have struggled with reflux, I think you'll have a better time with BFing instead of trying to find a formula that works for your LO but who knows, you know?
That was the thing I didn't expect - how much time would actually be spent doing nothing but breastfeeding! I will say, it doesn't last long though. You'll look back and think that that time went by so fast.
We stuck it out for 11 months. I went back to work early and DS didn't love bottles. It was a struggle. He loves to eat food though and has since day one. Around 9.5 months we were down to twice a day nursing and by 11 months he gave up our (last) night feeding.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I haven't seen people "against breastmilk" at all; like others, I've seen/experienced a lot of pressure to breastfeed and it led to a lot of disappointment and guilt when it wasn't working out. I actually disagree that "moms are not going to let their children starve." There have been cases of babies in the ER for dehydration because their parents were so convinced that formula is awful and wanted to breastfeed at any cost. Here's one example: http://www.fearlessformulafeeder.com/2011/04/fff-friday-i-had-to-make-a-choice-comfort-him-or-make-his-next-meal/

To me, it's important that the conversation be balanced - yes, breastfeeding is great, but with all the pressure from society to breastfeed (in some circles), people also need to know that formula is fine, too. My pediatrician was super pro-breastfeeding (offers a free support group, encourages mothers to do it, etc.), but I really felt like I needed her "permission" to stop BFing. I was practically in tears when I described pumping all the time since LO wouldn't latch, and not being able to hold him. When she said, "Look, you've tried really hard and your baby will thrive on formula if you want to stop," it meant the world to me.

@winniebee: same.
I feel that hello bee is very pro breastfeeding. Where I live I haven't noticed a stigma towards either side.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I don't know if it's that so many people are "against" breast milk, but formula companies have done a great job marketing their product around the world, convincing some probably less informed, less educated people that formula is somehow better than breastmilk. That's not the Hellobee community obviously but in general it's a very insidious approach and it really bothers me.

I totally get that some people need to use formula and I know Hellobee-ers have made that educated decision but I have a feeling that's not the case for the majority of FFers (around the world, I'm talking about -- incl. many developing countries like where I live).

I think as previously mentioned its a lot of things. My mom is one of my biggest critics in regards to my choice to breastfeed. But I think her criticism stems from lack of education about the benefits as well as her own personal feelings. I was only BF for three months and I think in her mind me wanting to do extended BFing is somehow saying what she did was wrong.

I haven't experienced any negativity about my breast feeding. My mom, who FF my brother and I, has been hugely supportive of my breast feeding. All my friends at least attempted to breastfeed only making it to around 3 months. If people have a problem with it, they've never made any comment to me about it.

But I do still feel awkward feeding him in public. I feel like people just aren't used to it. I just wish everyone could just be supportive of one another no matter how they feed their child.

Sometimes I hope I'm not making my friends and family feel bad about FF because I'm still BFing. That's not my intention at all.

But to answer your question, I think it's a cultural and generational thing.

@mrskc: I totally agree re cultural and generational . . . I wonder what will be the new norm in 10 or 20 years.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I have found the exact opposite, i.e., in my social circle (in a large city) more people are pro-BF and anti-FF.