My cousin is having her first baby in November, but her baby shower is in a few weeks. She's got all the standard FTM things on her registry: Diaper Genie, bottle warmer, 7 types of teether. Things I never used. I'd really like to get her a Rock 'n Play since--other than the swing--it was my most used/loved piece of gear for the first 6 or 8 months. BUT, I feel like she created a registry for a reason. She picked things she wants, and I don't know if it's awkward/rude to give her something she didn't ask for... especially since it's not small. Thoughts?!
-
Someone got me a RnP and it wasn't on my registry. I'd never heard of it. It ended up saving my sanity. I would get it and explain in the card or person and include a gift receipt.
-
As long as you get a gift receipt, sounds good to me!
-
@photojane: include the gift receipt, just I case she is getting one from someone else and didn't put it on the registry for that reason.
-
I ended up loving the things I got from experienced mamas more than anything on my registry - including the RNP! I'd go for it, and just include a gift receipt just in case
-
If you include a gift receipt I think it is fine. I think going off registry is tricky because you don't know what she might already have. I got a ton of hand me downs from friends and when my aunt went off registry and got me a RnP it was a double (with no gift receipt) because I had already gotten one from a friend. And then it ended up not working for us, so sort of doubly annoying (well-- as annoying as a gift can be, which I guess is not that annoying lol).
-
I got some gifts off registry from people who has recently had babies. In all cases, they explained how their baby had really loved the item and they thought we'd like one too. I was totally guessing when I made my registry so it was fine with me!
-
I agree, include a gift receipt or even chat with her a little and see where her thoughts are. I almost didn't register for a rnp because I was really encouraged to get a swing and didn't understand the difference between the rnp and a swing.
-
Ditto on the gift receipt.
Ever since having a kid. I totally give stuff off-registry, just things that I found were useful when I had a newborn that wasn't on their registry. I hope that it comes in handy which many people have told me my gifts have!
-
Thanks everyone! She's older than me, but most of her friends are older than her & have school-aged children. So, my thinking is that she probably won't get one from anyone else. I'll definitely include a gift receipt!
-
I prefer to buy off the registry. I know there's items I've heard other moms say are useless that were invaluable to me (Diaper Genie is one of them!), and there's been other things most people loved that my son totally hated. I understand where you're coming from because the RnP was a lifesaver for me...but I know I've seen other moms on these boards who don't like them or want to use them for various reasons, so yeah, definitely include the gift receipt in case!
-
I think it's great to give items that you found invaluable :)!
that said, I'd definitely include a gift receipt, and also perhaps a casual mention that it's totally cool if she exchanges your gift for something else if she chooses to
-
My cousin got a RnP for me (off-registry) and I did use it some, but probably would have returned it if she included a receipt. I'm kind of a minimalist and didn't want baby holders all over our tiny apartment. It did come in handy when she was sick and for travel, but for us it wasn't a necessity. BUT if you include a gift receipt and note about why it's so great, sounds like a good plan! If she really wants the diaper genie she could trade it out.
-
i received the RNP from DH's cousin and she explained that it saved her and her sister with their kiddos. they included a gift receipt, but we kept it because all the bees loved it and we loved it too! we loaned it to our friends for their newborn!
-
I buy from the registry. If you want to get the rock and play, call her and ask her. It is possible she has one and you're just creating work for get to return it. We didn't have a rock and play and we didn't miss it.
-
I'd include it with a note and a receipt.
-
Buy it! totally!
I usually give a big basket of my most useful picks for the first year, focusing on items for the 4+months age (since ppl usually gift newborn type items). I like to pepper in a few registry items.
The most useful gifts I got were from other moms who were in the know, and these were not items on my registry. Grateful for those items for sure just didn't know it at the time -
I prefer to buy off the registry and add a side item of something I loved if it's not on their registry.
If you do end up buying I would would definitely include a gift receipt with a note indicating why. And purchase from where they are registered so it's very easy for them to exchange if they don't want it.
. -
What worked for your baby might not work work for someone else's baby. A thread yesterday showed lots of people didn't end up using their RNP.
I'm for sticking to the registry. People usually put a lot of thought to them. If you really want to go off the registry, I would recommend also buying something small from the registry.
-
I would get it. She probably doesn't know about it. Just give a gift receipt.
-
Do you think she did a lot of research before registering? Or just went in and registered for things that looked good? I purposely didn't register for a RNP so I would've returned it had I gotten one. But I also did a ton of research. I usually try to stick to the registry because a lot worked for me that didn't work for others and vice versa.
-
Don't throw tomatoes at me, but I would stick to the registry. I personally did a ton of research on all of the bigger registry items, and knew I didn't want to use a RNP for various reasons. If someone would have given us one, I would have had to return it. Maybe give a gift card if you don't think the items on her registry are useful, and suggest the RNP in case she hasn't heard of it?
-
@Happygal: @Cara M. 17: @lawbee11: that's exactly what i was thinking. I put a lot of thought into my registry and made a conscious decision to not use the RnP as well.
-
For me personally I would just buy off her registry. Maybe someone gave her a hand me down or something.
-
I'd do it with a note and gift receipt!
-
If she isn't traveling to her shower and you include a gift receipt, no problem. However, I deliberately didn't register for large ticket items like that because I don't want those things taking up space in my no-storage-left house!
-
I didn't register for things like that because we are sticking to a Montessori approach. I got a swing and a baby bouncer thing at my shower, neither of which I registered for, and ended up returning them and getting stuff I actually needed instead. Just always include a receipt when you give a gift at a shower (on or off registry).
Personally, I always buy something on the registry.
-
some of my favorite items were ones I didnt register for, that other moms had gotten me! I say get it and provide gift reciept and a note explaining your actions. the worst she can do is return it! but to me, a registry is simply a wish list and not a requirement that everyone must purchase something from it.
-
I would get it and in the card write something about this being your lifesaver so you wanted to pass it along and include the gift receipt in case she already has one.
-
I actually bought quite a bit used prior to my shower - RNP, bumbo, snap n go, vibrating seat, etc. I had many people ask "why didn't you register for x?" And had to explain I already had it
I would say buy and include a gift receipt, or go with a gift card.
-
I'd do it. She doesn't realize how awesome that is! Two things that I'd totally get if it weren't on a registry: A+A blankets & the Rock n Play. Be sure to give her the gift receipt though just in case.
-
What @grizz: said. Getting things from more experienced moms was super helpful. LO got an annoying crawl ball from some parent friends of ours. He loved it until he outgrew it.
I put together a basket for an expecting friend with our favorites: Bumkin bibs, Munchkin spoons, Angel Dear loveys, books, bath cups (duplicate from birthday party), etc.
-
I would get it and attach a gift receipt. Maybe say in the card "this thing saved my life when (LO) was a baby!" So she understands it came from a place of experience. I would be thrilled!
-
Agreed that you should buy the RnP and provide your "veteran mom" tips (and a gift receipt). The only thing that bothers me about buying off-registry is when someone buys a SIMILAR product to what you've registered for, disregarding the time you spent picking out that particular brand or model... and doesn't include a receipt! Coming from a 33 week pregnant lady who just went through a few showers
-
I think its fine to buy it, just include the receipt. I'm happy to receive things from veteran moms with well meaning advice but I also live in the city where space is at a premium. I feel terrible but I had a friend just offer to make me a bookshelf for the nursery that I just won't have space for.. I tried to explain that but I'm not sure she listened.. ugh. I don't know what to do!
-
I agree with a few other previous posters (@Happygal: @Cara M. 17: @lawbee11: @locavore_mama: @pui:) that it's very possible she intentionally didn't register for a RnP for one reason or another. I did a lot of research and decided that I didn't want to use a RnP, so I didn't register for one. If you really want to get her that, though, I'd definitely go with the note + gift receipt approach that others have mentioned.
-
I would just make sure to buy it from a place that makes returns easy and include the receipt. It got frustrating dealing with gifts we didn't want, couldn't use, and couldn't return!
Reply
Subscribe to our newsletter
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
36 comments