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We have an Osprey Poco Premium backpack carrier and love it, although I have to admit we really only use it for actual hiking, not day to day carrying. I don’t think the height it places the child at would be a true problem walking around Target (for example), but it requires a little getting used to just in terms of balance/special awareness.

We’ve had ours for about eight years (!!) since our oldest was around one, and have used it through three kids (youngest is now 4.5). It’s still in great shape, so I’d also say buying a used one would be a good option for you. I think SIL would like me to hand ours down to her soon, but I still use it for my small 4.5 year old. She’s somewhere around 33 lbs I think, and maybe 37-38 inches, and while it’s definitely a tighter fit on her now than when she was, say, two, she is still pretty comfy. I’m pretty comfortable carrying her. The pack is still kind of hot, but it’s better than having preschooler body heat smushed up against you when it’s 90 out. The carrier stands on its own to load the kiddo in, but it can be hard to lift from the ground onto your back without help when the child is older/larger; I’d suggest putting the backpack on from the back of your car trunk if you have a van/SUV, or from a bench.

Ours is exactly this one, but similar newer models are available: https://www.rei.com/product/828440/osprey-poco-premium-child-carrier

+1 recommendation for the Osprey Poco (we have the Plus? I think?) although we also mostly only use it for hiking! DH will sometimes take one of our kiddos in it as he prefers wearing them in that instead of any of my soft structured carriers...it def is doable for target or whatever, too!! Our average sized 3 year old fits in it comfortably.

We have a Dueter’s Kid Comfort and love it. Using it with our third and pleased with how it has held up. I researched a ton before getting it and I don’t remember why it was the pick . It is comfortable and I often use it when out just for a walk since it gets him up and he can see a lot more.

I know it's not what you asked, but I would find it a bit tricky to get on and off a hiking backpack without help from another adult. I haven't used one regularly but when we borrowed one found it much harder to manage than a standard infant carrier. I wonder if she'd be more willing to use one of those sit stand strollers where the kid can stand facing you - i.e. so she's still really close to you but it's easier for her to get in and out? I've never personally tried one, but know some people who rave about the joovey caboose one - kid can sit, stand, or hop on and off easily if they want to walk. Of course doesn't help with hiking and maybe you've tried it or don't want to buy another stroller at this point...