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@Grace: that's a fabulous idea to bring your own formula...the little nursers that come with the nipples would be perfect!
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I don't know if I know anyone that only FF but that's just because it's not really my business so not something that I ask about. This is pro ably not what you want to hear, but it doesn't matter how you choose to feed your child, someone will have negative commentary about it. Probably for as long as you're responsible for feeding them. So just do whatever works best for you and your baby! Good luck!!
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Whatever reasons you have, the decision is yours and yours alone.
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I would be happy to talk to you, as I am going through this now. There are some medical reasons behind my decision but I know I shouldn't have to justify my decision to everyone I meet - people need to accept that there are all kinds of reasons, all valid.
I ended up feeling kind of bad for not even trying and a few minutes after being stitched up the nurses descended on me with a nipple shield and that's when the nightmare began. Finally I worked up the courage to say to a LC in the middle of the night, "I appreciate your help but I don't think I'm going to continue with this. Can I have some formula?" And at that point they offered me my choice, stocked my room with whatever I needed.
But I did feel that the education about how to feed him cut off a lot there, which made me sad because I still need to know how to feed my baby! It took me a while to ask a nurse out of desperation to show me how to get him to take a bottle the right way. You have every right to ask these things, and that was part of why I wanted to start in the hospital - so I could take advantage of the support.
LO was born on the small side and looking at him a few days later I know I made the right choice. Don't let anyone make you doubt your choice!
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@Rainbow Sprinkles: yea I don't mind, off the top of my head - I can't find any research that makes me feel passionate about needing to providing BF for the baby's well-being, it'll be half hearted because of that which will make it a negative on my mental state, I believe an emotionally happy mother is more important for baby, I don't want to feel scheduled or tied down or like baby's health is reliant solely on me, I am really weirded out by the physical aspect of BF and watching videos online to try to get over it further cemented how much I don't want to participate in physical act (so I would pump if anything), I am a runner and feel like it will be hard to juggle BF, diet, and training all at once.
ETA: and if I'm not committed long term, I don't want to have negative shadow of stress with in the first few weeks that would be hardest anyways.
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I don't know anyone (that I know of) who didn't try, but I know several who tried for a week or so, decided it wasn't working, and happily FF after that. At least two decided to not even try with the second child and went straight to formula, happily.
@spaniellove: You make a really good point about there not being much education about formula feeding, all the more reason to ask about it before even leaving the hospital.
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My mom had zero interest in breastfeeding me and I was formula fed from the get go.
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@runnerd: Me.
I tried BFing Sadie, because I felt like I "should." But, it didn't work. Sadie was exclusively formula fed from about 3 weeks on. SHE IS AWESOME - healthy, smart, etc. etc. We will be FFing all of our other babies from day 1. I seriously loved FFing. 
As a sidenote: I gave birth at a very "baby friendly" hospital, and they definitely very much encourage breastfeeding, but no one gave me any grief about using formula (she got her first bottle the day after she was born). They also gave us lots of samples to take home. We got tons of ready-to-feed bottles & nipples - those are great for middle of the night feeds! Definitely ask the nurses for some... every hospital will have them!
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I like grace's idea of just bringing some with you and having conviction about what you believe in :). i hope you have a great birth and newborn time!
I did both and am happy with both! (except the cost, of course haha)
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We got tons of samples in the mail, knowing that you'll FF, you can sign up everyone (you, your parents, ILs, cousins, whoever!) on the formula brands' websites to score tons of samples and coupons! Similac sent me 1-6 $5off coupons per month through the first year!
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I know many more people who FF than BF. I think it depends where you live etc. please do what is best for your family and don't worry about what others have to say! I will say that it made a huge difference when our pediatrician's office told us up front that they would support us 100% no matter what decision we made.
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This blogger has written about her decision to ff from the beginning with both of her kids a few times. This us one of her posts. http://marriageconfessions.com/2011/03/04/why-i-chose-not-to-breastfeed/
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Quite a few of my friends chose to either not breastfeed or quit very early in. The really sad thing is a couple of them now lie about having breastfed or the duration in which they did. I'm a believer in doing whatever works best for you and your family, the postpartum time is rough enough.
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@runnerd: my MIL chose not to try with either kid! fWIW breast feeding isn't hard for everyone! It was the only easy thing for me in the early days, honestly. Good luck with your decision- if you do I'd tell your nurses ASAP or they will continue to remind you about tips etc.
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@runnerd: maybe say something at your hospital tour so they can mark it down ahead of time and not have an LC visit, etc?
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I hate that there is a stigma with formula feeding. And that you were even asked why you don't want to breastfeed. There are 2 ways to feed a baby - one is not better than the other. You need to do what you feel is best for you and your baby and don't feel guilty for your choice!
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@runnerd: I agree with your DH! If it's not for you and your family, then that's your decision, full stop!
But I dunno. I kind of feel like there are so many parenting decisions that are judged waaay more harshly on the internet than in real life. Feeding, sleep, etc- it's so much easier to be a jerk to someone online than it is to be a jerk to their face. You might not get as much hassle as you fear!
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As everyone else has said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with formula feeding. It's a great option! I was 100% FF as I was adopted and I've turned out okay!
My son has also been FF since 5 months as I lost my milk supply early on in this pregnancy and he is doing wonderfully! Thriving. I would recommend putting it on your birth plan and marking it clearly. The nurses automatically assumed that I would be breastfeeding (which I wanted to attempt) and I could see how that would be awkward for all if they weren't informed of your wishes ahead of time.
I will say (and not because I think BF'ing is a better option than FF'ing) that I was very apprehensive about BF'ing going in. I thought it would be incredibly difficult and honestly the idea grossed me out. DS never had problems with BF'ing and he made it easy on me and I found that, as soon as he was here, it wasn't gross at all. I found that I actually enjoyed it and I cried a LOT (not over guilt) when I had to give up BF'ing simply because I missed that aspect of my relationship with DS. So -- either way -- don't feel like your stuck going any direction until baby is here!
The option is yours whatever you decide, at any time, depending on what feels right for you! That's the best thing about being a Mom to your own little one -- YOU get to decide. And anyone who judges you can just take a hike!
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I definitely know how you feel because prior to giving birth, I assumed I would try bf, but not for long and not if it was difficult in any way. The physical aspect made me nervous (I have very sensitive nipples), and I resented the idea that no one else could feed my baby. I posted a thread similar to yours on another baby board, and people were supportive. A few people encouraged me to keep an open mind and in my case, bf-ing worked the best for me, and I never ended up using formula. But I digress-just wanted to say I know where you're coming from, but also that we can go with the flow and see what works best when the time comes. Good luck!
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I am completely in agreement with everyone who has said that this is YOUR decision...however I have one suggestion. Do you think you could feed the first milk (colostrum) for the immune benefits (protection against more common harmful gut bacteria and viruses that you yourself are immune to) before going exclusively FF? I don't know that this won't wreak havoc with encouraging your milk to come in...but it 's at least a thought.
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@runnerd: I never had planned on BFing, but I felt I needed to because 'it's natural', 'breast is best', 'it's what you're supposed to do'. My son wouldn't latch, so after becoming extremely frustrated we made the switch to 100% formula after about 10 days. When I became pregnant with my daughter, I said id try because of not being able to with my first, and it seems that it's supposed to be what i should do, 'try harder'. She had no problems BFing, I hated it! I didn't find it a bonding experience, I didn't feel comfortable. I Decided that she was going to be 100% formula fed at again about 10 days. If I ever had a third, I honestly wouldn't even try.
I don't think you should have to try if you truly don't want to. It's your baby, your choice. As long as you are feeding your baby, you're doing it right
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@runnerd: I chose not to bf from the beginning. I did a lot of research and decided the in my case that it just wouldn't be a good choice. I read the blogger that@kidsoc referred to and felt that I could have written it myself as it really paralleled my feelings.
I delivered at a baby friendly hospital in NY just after Bloombergs latch on campaign, yet I didn't feel any pressure from the nurses or my sons pediatrician. I have no regrets about my decision, my son like other ff fed kids is healthy l, perfect and wonderful.
For me, the worst reason in the world to breastfeed would have been due to perceived judgement and if I did it, truly that would have been the only reason.
So I skipped over the obligatory crying in the formula aisle like I'm supposed too and just owned the decision. (Not saying that switching to formula isn't upsetting for some women - but I feel like there can be a perception that if you have to use formula, you should at least be upset about it)
Definitely refer to fearless formula and avoid the forums, they tend to attract the most passionate on the topic and usually add more heat than light to the topic.
And remember, if you decide not to, ignore any "just try its". There will be a lot of people who may not approve of your decision and that's ok, they do however have to respect your decision. best of luck with whatever you decide.
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@runnerd: I had zero desire to bf but the social pressure and bullying I felt from medical professionals was insane. I decide to try pumping and made it 2 weeks. I'm so happy I gave it up and will not bother with future children.
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Thanks for all the advice and comments - it's definitely helped me think things through and get the courage to own my decision, because at the end of the day it's not my decision I'm doubting. Geesh - mommy guilt starts before the baby even gets here!
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@runnerd: I have lots of friends who never breastfed or did it for very short periods of time...more who didn't than who did!
My sister did not BF her first two kids at all. She is due soon with her 3rd and last baby, so she is going to give it a try. Mostly because it's her last one and she figures she should try it once. But she is OK if it doesn't work and fully expects to supplement with formula, especially after maternity leave.Do what you have to do! I am the opposite of you, when we started ttc I was against BF'ing (for myself, not in general). I just had no desire. But for some reason as the due date gets closer I feel more and more like I want to. I actually have dreams about it, which was really strange the first time.
I just think that we all know deep down what is best for us and just have to go with it! I am going to try but 100% ok with giving it up if it's just not working.
Do whatever your initial instinct is in the hospital. If it's to breast feed, good for you, you're feeding your child. If it's to ask for formula, then good for you, you're feeding your child. -
So I have a very different experience/perspective but I want to say I feel you on the societal pressure. That was like 75% why I tried so hard when I struggled at first. It comes from a well meaning place but it sucks that when you are dealing with so much already you have to face judgment on top of it! Whatever you do, feel secure that you are a GREAT mom & no one can care for your child better than you.
Having said that (haha here it comes) I just want to tell you one thing:
Breastfeeding is not always hard. I really think you should just try. I know someone who was very ambivalent/apprehensive & nursing was so easy for her. Other than the obvious health benefits (which I agree are a bit overblown by some) breastfeeding is FREE. We only formula feed part-time & it's hella expensive. On the off chance it works for you, it's worth a try for that reason alone, in my opinion.
And for what it's worth I was super weirded out about the whole thing but I got over it right away. May not be the case for you but some things change when you become a mom.
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I just wanted to add, after a few of the comments. It's okay not to even want to try. It really, really is.
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@runnerd: I'm a long time lurker but I feel like I needed to share my story with you as I was in a similar position before my son was born.
Everyone I know is super into breast feeding and I just never was. I don't have anything against it, it just wasn't for me. I went back and forth about it for months. Researching, reading and driving myself (and my husband) crazy.. I felt especially guilty because I'm a stay at home mom. I finally made my decision around my 6 month appt that I wasn't even going to try because I just didn't feel strongly enough about it. My doctors were ok with it so I figured no big deal.
My son was born a month premature via an emergency c-section at a hospital I had never been to before that morning. The staff there was less than supportive of my decision. They gave me looks of shock and disgust and to make me feel guilty because my son was so small. Luckily I had one fabulous nurse and an amazing husband to remind me it was my son and my decision. Needless to say my formula-only fed baby boy is doing so well that even his pediatrician can't believe it. He's smart, active, ahead of schedule and super healthy. My guilt (over not breast feeding at least haha) got smaller and smaller with every milestone. Whatever you choose, stick to your guns and it will all work out ok -
@loveisstrange: +1
It's totally, completely 1000% okay to not try. Your baby will be healthy, happy, bonded etc etc etc regardless of how you feed him .
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@skipra: this.
No matter what you do people will judge.
Motherhood is so humbling.
The Dr.s will make comments that make it clear they are judging you (positively or negatively) from day one until wellness checks are over. So will other people. It sucks but knowing that no matter what you will do that people will judge makes it easier to say f-you sooner
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Your reasons sound very much like my own! I decided to FF before DS was even here, and was very at peace with my decision. I had a very supportive DH, OB, and pediatrician. I loved my experience, and I actually think it helped me and DH to bond more with our son. I didn't have the stress of BF, DH was able to help (a major perk in the middle of the night!) so I could heal from my c/s, and in all it just worked for our family. At 32 weeks pregnant with #2, I fully intend to make the same decision again.
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Have you talked to your pediatrician about it? That would probably be a good place to start.
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Everything you do as a Mom will be judged. If you chose to formula feed, people will judge you not attempting to bf, if you bf people will judge if you nurse without a cover, if you chose not to pump people will think you're crazy for having to have your baby with you all the time, if you chose to use scented baby products, someone is judging your use of chemicals, if you decide to puree foods at 6 months, blw'ers will think you're wasting your time, in the reverse people who puree think you're risking your childs life and that they will chock to death if you blw. Sleeping? Oh forget it!; co-sleep, sleep training, co-bed, in a crib, in a bassinet, the others are ALWAYS judging you. Every decision will never be good for everyone, it just needs to be what's best for your family
Mom camps suck. It's better just to trust your choices, not to justify and do the one and only thing that really matters, love and enjoy your child.
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My mom FF me & my sister (I actually should ask her why!), and we grew up fine, so I was never opposed to the idea of FF. I think the only reason I want to attempt to BF is cause BM is free! But if I hit bumps in the road, I would not hesitate to switch to FF for my sanity's sake.
I actually posted a thread when I first started on the board, asking if it's selfish if I just don't want to BF b/c I don't want to hit all those potential road blocks.
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@monstersmomma: I hope you start to contribute more!
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As a formula feeding mom, I feel it's important to offer my support. Whatever you decide, your child will thrive.
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I will 100% not be BF any future children.
I attempted with LO but she got literally 0 from me. We didn't supplement until about 5 days later after she had lost more than her 10% and a weighed feeding showed her not even gaining a 1/2 ounce after a half hour. (The scale weighed to a half ounce.) I went to EP-ing and supplementing. I started out pumping about 2 oz a day. A DAY. My max per day was 8 or 9 oz in a 2-3 day period and then it plummeted again (MIL visiting and getting AF and going back to work.... fun.) I ended up EP and supplementing for nearly 3 months. It drove me NUTS. DH works nights so taking care of her and trying to pump was extremely different. My mental state demanded that I quit pumping. DH just said yesterday how glad he is we aren't doing that anymore...5 months post quitting. I know I can't handle that again with a demanding baby AND toddler. I have PCOS, aka I knew I'd likely have low supply, and with no family here and DH working evenings I just don't have the support system to aid pumping. Not going to happen again. My health and sanity is better for baby than the maybe 3 oz a of BM a day.
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It's completely OK to not want to! COMPLETELY!
I went into it with the attitude of "I'm going to try this out and if it doesn't work or I don't like it, we're going to formula."
Guess what? It sucked. It was hard. It didn't work. I moved into LO being full formula and it was without question the best decision I could have made. I was miserable, LO wouldn't latch, no one could help me or make me feel better so I stopped. Now I don't have to be attached to LO 24/7. I can leave him for a few hours and not have to pump in the meantime. Other people can feed him. He can have sleep overs. Formula is just easier for my lifestyle and my sanity, and I don't feel bad about that AT.ALL. I see people complaining about clogged ducts, infections, eating restrictions, etc. Nope, not for me!
I'm not even going to try and BF the next kid(s)! I will admit I feel a twinge of jealousy when I see BF pictures, but then I also see people complaining about cluster feeds and leaky boobs and I'm snapped back into reality.
Bottom line is this - are you going to feed your baby? are you going to teach it and help it develop to the best of your abilities? If yes, then you are doing the right thing. It may not be XYZ's right thing, but it's right for you and that's all that matters!
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@loveisstrange: I agree! It really, truly is ok to just not try. I wish I would has followed my gut and didn't even try with my second. I knew it wasn't for me, but felt I 'just had to try'
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@MrsTiz: I agree completely!
@runnerd: I also wanted to say it's ok to not even try. Don't feel like you need to just because it may be easy.
I tried BFing Sadie, because I felt like I "should." But, it didn't work. Sadie was exclusively formula fed from about 3 weeks on. SHE IS AWESOME - healthy, smart, etc. etc. We will be FFing all of our other babies from day 1. I seriously loved FFing. 
My son has also been FF since 5 months as I lost my milk supply early on in this pregnancy and he is doing wonderfully! Thriving. 
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