I need help. My daughter (almost 1) goes to bed just fine, but around 2 or 3 in the morning decides she wants out of her crib and wants to sleep in between mom and dad. She's teething, so I'm hoping that is why she is waking up, but I know I am creating an awful habit by bringing her to bed. How do I break her of this? CIO hasn't worked. Someone tell me it's just a phase and not the new normal?
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It could be a phase, DD 15 months did this a few weeks ago for almost 3 weeks she would wake and I could not for the life of me get her back down in crib
I am PG and so tired so I just put her in our bed, she has gone back to normal so maybe it was teeth, night mares who knows, I would just keep trying the crib and do what you need to do for sleep, I can't CIO in the sense of not go to her or let her cry for more than 2-5 mins
Do what works for you until it doesn't
Sorry if that wasn't any help, just letting you know you are not alone -
We co-sleep on and off like this also, some nights DS (16 mo.) will sleep through, some nights he's up at 1 or 2 and I just bring him to bed... once he starts wiggling around I put him back in his crib, he rarely will be in our bed till morning.
So far it hasn't become a habit, so we're just going with it. Do whatever works.
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@FaithFertility: This made me feel better. Thank you
I can't let her cry longer than 5 / 10 min. It makes me to uncomfortable and anxious and it just makes her more and more upset!
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@ocean81: That is me, I physically can't do it, even if I tone her out.... sometimes I wish I could....lol
Do what works for you! -
@josina: Thank you! It makes us all miserable if I let her cry and fight to get her back to sleep in her crib. Maybe I will try to move her back to her crib tonight once she falls asleep in our bed.
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Co-sleeping is not an awful habit! We started when DD was a newborn out of desperation but we continued by choice and we're all happy with it!
So while it's not your cup of tea it's def not a "bad" habit!
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@FaithFertility: haha! Every night I tell my husband, okay, this is the night. I'm going to let her cry until she falls asleep. Then he imitates me bolting up the stairs after about 30 seconds of her crying
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@snowjewelz: Yay, I was hoping you would see this......
I secretly love the cuddles when she wakes at like 6 and I can get her in our bed for another hr -
@ocean81: I hear you!
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@snowjewelz: Thank you! I don't know why I feel so much pressure to sleep train her and let her cry. It makes me insane when some of my friends say "You just have to do it!" No! No, I don't! It's not for everyone, right?
ETA... Although, I do get nervous when she sleeps in our bed. She likes to stand up on us (she's insane, haha) and I'm scared she will do it when we are sleeping and fall off the bed!
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@ocean81: Absolutely, I don't talk sleep around many people because I know there advice, is not what I would agree on......
Not that it is wrong it is just not what I would do so I just don't bring it up around them, to lessen the anxiety -
@FaithFertility: Haha I am the biggest advocate for it, even if it's just temporary!!
@ocean81: It really isn't! When I was pregnant and first had DD, I thought sleep training is just what you do, and that I was "weak" if I couldn't let DD cry. But after doing a lot of research on my own I just decided that sleep training is not our thing and tho it was hard for the ~8 months that she wasn't STTN, I have no regrets and happy that nobody had to endure tears!
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@ocean81: It is annoying to have to make sure our bed is safe. I ended up wedging her crib mattress on the side of our bed with a PNP so it acts like a wall. Then the other ends we pile pillows on and I'm always watching her on the monitor like a hawk!
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@snowjewelz: @FaithFertility: Thank you for making me feel better! I have been DREADING bedtime as I know she will just be up in a few hours and the thought of making her cry for a long period of time makes my stomach hurt. I think I will just take it one night at a time and see what happens
For now, I will enjoy her "kisses" and her little baby arm punching me in the face when she rolls over -
@ocean81: if you ultimately want her in the crib, just keep putting her there to begin with and hopefully the wake-ups will end soon!
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@ocean81: my wee girl bed shared from her first wakeup from 6-18 months and she seamlessly transitioned back to sleeping in her cot all night once she night-weaned!
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We do this a few nights per week. My son just turned two a few weeks ago. It started in earnest with his 18mo sleep regression, and it got really intense for a few months. I was convinced it would never end. Then he gradually started STTN again. Now he still wakes up occasionally, and I just chuck him in bed next to me. Honestly, I don't mind if it's the fastest path back to sleep for everyone. It is a problem (for me) if he wakes up before I am ready to go to sleep, but if it's the MOTN I just indulge him. He's only two. He won't do this forever.
For awhile he was a very restless sleeper, and it would adversely affect the quality of our sleep, but now it's generally ok.
We did decide, though, to upgrade to a king sized mattress. With a queen it was very uncomfortable, and I didn't sleep well.
Sometimes he rolls over and spoons with me which is super cute! And I like hearing him sigh in his sleep. It's also fun to watch him wake up and hear his first words of the day because they are usually really random things!
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This is us exactly. She always go to bed on her own but most nights ends up in bed at some point. I truthfully love the cuddles but as she gets older (almost 1) I worry more and more that it will be hard to break the habit. Plus it makes it more difficult if we need to have family watch her overnight. (I work nightshift 3 nights a week and my husband travels for work occasionally) so having her wake up in the middle of the night and rocked back to sleep instead of going into bed is harder on my mom.
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@ocean81: I always believe you need to do what is best for you. We co-slept until about 6 months when DD decided he needed his own space. He mostly sleeps in his crib but lately he's been sick and teething so occasionally he will come into bed with me. It is always a phase fr us. I don't make it an automatic thing at the beginning of the night. I never enjoyed CIO and don't like it,, so if you think it's no good for you then it's not. It is more than likely a phase. I doubt a few nights of cosleeping are not going to break nearly a years worth of a habit.
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@ElbieKay: ah, I would love.a king but I'm not sure it would fit! I do love getting woken up by her face in my face
@Mrs.Pinecone316: How do you get her back in her crib? Last night she would wake up, fall asleep in my arms, be put back down, wake up, fall asleep in my arms and on and on until I gave up. The first time we are going on a solo over night is in June and I'm worried about that too! My mom said it doesn't matter, she will sleep with her on the couch or figure it out. She did say she would never ever let her granddaughter cry
@Eko: Thanks... CIO definitely isn't for us and I have to keep reminding myself that it's okay and it's not for everyone!
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Im actually a little jealous of all the co sleepers!!! DS is 8 months and we partially co slept with him for a bit. After his early morning wake up (around 4-5) I would bring him into our bed. But now that he is crawling I get scared of having him in bed with us. Plus he is incredibly distracted being in our room & usually won't sleep. I hope eventually he will be able to come into our bed and sleep with us here and there!
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@Portboston: Ha, she crawls all over our bed to which is why it needs to stop! The other morning my husband and I fell back to sleep with her in the bed and when we woke up, she was just sitting there, staring at us
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@ocean81: we co-slept because it was what we needed to feel sane. We still bring our 23 month old into bed with us when she's having a rough night in the middle of the night. Sometimes, I think she just needs a warm body and to feel safe. When she snuggles, how can I say no?! When she insists on kicking me in the gut all night, though...then we go back to the crib
I agree with the above: do what works, until it doesn't. At 2:30 in the morning, the only bad habit I don't want to create is being awake
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@LovelyPlum: Haha! I agree with being awake is the only bad habit I don't want to create at 2:30am! She nuzzles in SO close, I love it.
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@ocean81: the nuzzling is so awesome. But I am going to amend my earlier statement: for a long time, we would let the dog out when we got up MOTN. *That* was a bad habit, because then even once the baby STTN, the dog would still wake us up
HECK to the NO on that one, pup.
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@LovelyPlum: Ha! Yep. This is why DD is back in bed with me around 4 every morning even though I sleep trained her into her crib in December. 4am is not morning!
@ocean81: FWIW, DS co-slept off and on through various phases and I was always able to get him back in his bed after a few weeks. I panicked when I was pregnant and his 18 month regression landed him in our bed again, but he was back in his own bed long before DD came.
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@MrsSRS: Thank you! I really am hoping this is a phase. I honestly don't mind having her in our bed (and I will rock her to sleep until she's 30 if she wants!
) but we are hoping to add to our family soon, so I don't want it to be a permanent thing!
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@MrsSRS: @ElbieKay: I needed to read this today, so thank you! My son has been waking up at weird hours (19 months... so I think belated 18 month regression) and I was semi freaking out that he was going to be 15 and waking up in the bed to sleep with us. Glad to hear it was just an 18 month regression thing!
I can't let her cry longer than 5 / 10 min. It makes me to uncomfortable and anxious and it just makes her more and more upset!
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