Hellobee Boards

@Ree723: Yes, that is what I am hoping. That these were the same fears we had before trying for #1, and it has all worked out great. I am hoping the same is true for #2.

@artbee: I agree, the ideal spacing is hard and I think plans definitely change after you go through one pregnancy and one newborn stage. We woke up with DD#1 in the middle of the night for the entire first year.

I didn't get cold feet too much because we had waited til we absolutely felt 99.9% ready. For our family, we wanted them "close together", but that wasn't our #1 factor in TTC. Like the pp mentioned, we just asked ourselves if we were ready to add a baby to the mix at that time... Yes or no. It wasn't til DD was almost 2.5 yo that we were both sure the answer was a Yes. We just loved those years with one baby and didn't want to rush into having another.

Thankfully I was 28 when I had my first though, so I didn't worry about advanced maternal age, which is defined as 35 I think.

But yes, even with a "99.9% ready" mentality, there's always going to be a little part of you that freaks out about it all! And after having #1, maybe even moreso because this time, you know firsthand what it means to go through it all again. But at the same time, it was more exciting because I felt more confident as a mom and I felt that my DD would love a sibling at that point. So cold feet wasn't as bad... still was there though a little!

I got pregnant when LO was 7 months old since we wanted our first two close together (honestly I thought it would have taken longer since I had only had AF twice). I was really excited to get pregnant, but then once I was pregnant, exhausted, and sick, I started wishing we had waited a few more months! Now that I'm starting to feel better though I'm excited again. I do think we will wait longer now to TTC for our third, when originally we wanted them really close together.

I think having kids this close together has its rough times, but also very happy times!

I always planned on cranking out our kids close together (I'll turn 33 in July), but now that H is here (2 months old), I really feel like I want to enjoy her. Just her. For a little while. I also like having my body back, shopping for cute clothes, and feeling good about myself.

And I get scared about how I will ever love another baby as much as H?

The other thing that really helps me is to remember that you typically have 9-10 months before a new LO arrives! If I got a BFP this cycle, I would have until November to get adjusted to the new idea and plan for #2!

@PrincessBaby: I was terrified of the same thing (not loving another baby!) It actually took until month 3 that I could say "one day..when she has a sibling" and now that she's over 4 months, I totally have newborn fever and imagine her as a big sister one day! not that we'll try any time soon - but, just reassuring you that the feeling gets a little easier I think with time

Whenever I get my period back (9 months and counting...) we will be NTNP, and I definitely have cold feet off and on...sometimes by the hour. And definitely on those days that LO refuses to nap at all. But I know that I absolutely love and adore LO, and I will feel the same about her sibling(s). I realize that the potential chaos scares me, but the good far outweighs the bad. And like pp said, there's a whole pregnancy to prepare and older LOs mature a lot in 9 months!

@Ree723: I TOTALLY felt like this before ttc for P! G was already 7 so not only was I "adding" another child to the mix I was pretty much a ftm again b/c it had been so long. I'll be honest, I thought multiple times early in my pregnancy that I was CRAZY for TRYING for another and really regretted having deciding to do so. WHY would I go back to not sleeping? G is pretty much self sufficient and I was going back to being completely depended on for E.V.E.R.Y.thing. It was tough for a couple months primarily b/c the lovely early pregnancy symptoms were so prevalent and it affected how I was with G BUT I did get past them and became really happy again about our choice and new venture into being a mom of 2.

I also totally understand your fear of baby 2 being a different temperament and how that may affect things. G was such and easy baby and I learned pretty quick with P that ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERENT b/c she was the complete opposite. We had feeding issues, protein intolerances, and she was pretty high needs until around 6 months. What I learned though is that I can love her just as much as G despite her demand and that even though I have to be more proactive in it I can still give G the time he needs. It's been a balancing act BUT it can be done & you keep your sanity.

Right now P is just about 10 months and we're in the waiting to try camp. We're still bf'ing so plan to wait until P is a year so if bf'ing is "compromised" we don't risk the time that P needs breastmilk and I'm actually hoping that we can tandem nurse! Figure that will be a great way to let P acclimate to having another sibling, one that it technically moving into her "territory".

We may not start ttc right at her 1 year mark but we're definitely coming close to being "ready" & this time I think I'll be more prepared for all the overwhelming feelings that may come with adding another to the mix. It's totally normal to question and worry though, it's a whole new venture! As scary as it may be it's great though!