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Our daycare has 2-3 adults for 10 kids, and is able to devote a lot of individual time to each kid! But they have a much higher age limit, so the kids are a bit more self-reliant, I think.

How old are the other kids at your daycare?

Awww so sorry you have to go through that! I don't have any answers, my LO isn't in day care. Hope others can help you out, that's scary to be so unsure about where your baby is all day long!

No, do NOT back off and stop asking how she did. That is your child, and its their job to tell you how she did. DONT be intimidated to ask or to get the answers.

I can tell you - our nanny used to work at the infant room in a daycare center, and said that she was the only one of the 3 in there that "paid adequate attention" to the infants. She would rock them when they cried and was told to "stop paying so much attention to one infant." She would sit in the glider to feed them a bottle, and theyd tell her to put the baby back down and prop the bottle because more kids can get fed that way. She said they were very hands off with the infants because they were constantly scrambling to try to tend to their needs since they werent on schedules,

I understand that they may be busy with so many infants, but allowing one to scream for 45 minutes without REALLY trying to calm her down isnt ok and its definitely not a reason for them to be annoyed with your asking how she did that day. Something doesnt seem right there. Id consider being firm with them or looking into another center or waiting until shes a little less dependent. I wouldnt be comfortable leaving my daughter there.

@mrbee: I just don't understand why someone would work at a DAYCARE and then get frustrated when you have to TAKE CARE OF A KID. Was that not understood going in?

So sorry to read this! I don't think you should stop asking about your LO's day!
I feel like my daycare providers dislike me ever since I asked them about intentional pacifier sharing!

Is the daycare a larger one that has specific age-based rooms (it kind of sounds that way). If so, is there a manager/owner that you could voice your concerns to? When we were looking at daycares, we were told that we would get a run-down on the day, every day, until the child is old enough to tell us how the day went.
I think it's definitely worth pursuing because it's not right to let an infant scream for 45 minutes without really doing anything to stop it. Or even calling you at work to tell you about it and see if you had a recommendation for something they could try.

I am not sure if your daycare is a center (like a ChildTime or KinderCare) or a home-vased daycare, but either way this is not how daycare should be. We use a larger center and have had a GREAT experience. My daughter started going when she was 14 weeks old, and the infant teachers were fabulous. They would always say hi to her when we waked in and would take her from my arms into theirs when I left. I never once left her on the floor before walking out to go to work. I have a fairly flexible schedule, so often my daughter would come in late or leave early, I could see that all of the babies were bottle-fed while in someone's lap.

You are paying your daycare to provide a loving and supportive environment for your child while you are working. The minimum expectation shoud be that you feel comfortable leaving your child there each day - if not, it may be time to shop around and find a place you feel good about. The teachers should be warm and open and should want to share your child's day with you. You shouldn't feel hesitant to ask about your daughter, and I don't think it is standard for an infant to be left to cry for 45 min. unconsoled.

If it is daycare center, I would bring your concerns up with the manager/owner because that is unacceptable. They are caring for your child and you are paying them for that service so your expectations/needs (which do not sound unreasonable) should be met. Although colds are common for kids in daycare, it sounds like they may not be keeping things clean enough that she has gotten that many in 3 weeks.

My daughter has been at a daycare center since 8 weeks old and although she has had a couple of colds in that time we've been lucky enough that she hasn't gotten anything more severe. The center we are at is constantly washing hands (even at 8w they would wash her little hands after each and every diaper change) and cleaning the surfaces the kids touch. In the infant rooms they would also put any toy that they saw in a child's mouth in the sink to be washed immediately after the child stopped playing with it so that another child didn't pick it up and start chewing on it. Each night we get a daily report that lists everything DD ate/drank as well as the number and length of naps and a note telling us how often her diaper was changed and the diaper contents each time. If she needs diaper cream or other meds that is noted as well. The teachers typically include some little note about something she did as well.

I struggle with daycare as well. I always ask how her day was when I pick her up, somedays I get more information than other. When we've had issues, I voice them to the director. We seem to have more success with issues getting addressed in that manner.

That all being said, my daughter will be moving to a different daycare when she's done with the infant room (1 year). I would have liked to moved her already but I really like one of the teachers she has and I didn't want her to go through anxiety issues with being moved around a lot in her first year. I didn't notice issues as early as a month though either.

I don't have any personal experience since my son doesn't attend daycare yet. But my best friend had to enroll her daughter in 3 daycares before she found the right one. And she complained of similar things....providers that seemed annoyed, not paying attention to her daughter, not giving timely and accurate daily updates. If you're unhappy with the level of service you're receiving at this daycare, I'm sure there are other daycares that would be happy to take care of your daughter and provide better service.

No experience here, but I wouldn't be able to take my eyes off that webcam! You pay these people a lot of money to take good care of your daughter- so you can be productive at work, worrying all day is not productive. They should be excited to see her everyday and be willing to give you a summary at the end of the day. I hope you are either able to get some changes made through someone in charge or find a better fit for your family. Hang in there and definitely don't let this go!

@mrs. wagon: They still look better than I do after I spend a full day with LO, so it's not like I can fault them

You need to trust your instincts. Is there a director you can talk with? If you don't think your child is being cared for properly, and don't feel like you're seeing an improvement after voicing your concerns, then don't hesitate to switch. Are there other centers in your area you can visit? Have you talked to other parents here to see if they have similar concerns? Have you considered a home daycare rather than a center?

It's difficult to find the right situation for your child and what works for someone else may not work for you. Once you have it right, you'll know it. There's no harm in trying a few places before you find the right fit for your family.

@BabyBoecksMom: I can't say that I wouldn't be afraid of the same thing as far as backlash is concerned. If they are already bitter about their jobs they may not take kindly to it. However, your child's well being and care are far more important than any inflated ego's. Follow your gut without any reservation and you'll know what the right thing to do is.