Okay. I am sure you guys are sick of all my sleep questions, but I am so desperate, I thought I would ask yet another sleep question. We thought my daughter was having some wonky sleep issues due to 3 month/12 week growth spurt, but now that she's almost 15 weeks, I don't think we can attribute it to that. I am going to lay out our day and if you guys could please tell me what the heck I am doing wrong, I would greatly appreciate it. Because like I said, I am desperate. This was her day yesterday:
Wake for the day: 9:00 am
Nap: 10:00 am-12:20 am (this is always the longest nap of the day, and she can usually only stay up 1 hour in the morning)
Nap: 2:00 pm-2:40 pm(Awake time of 1 hour and 40 minutes-I attempted to begin the nap of an awake time of around 1 hour and 15 min, but she would not fall asleep until 2)
Nap: 4:08pm-4:49pm
Nap: 6:15pm-7:20pm
Bedtime: 9:00
We have to give her Nexium for her acid reflux. She has to have an empty stomach and then she cannot eat for 30-45 minutes until after the medication is given. We have found that giving it closer to bedtime helps with her flares at night. So therefore, we have been giving it around 8-815 pm. I would be willing to give it a little earlier like 7ish and putting her down earlier, but she sleeps just as bad when we do that. SO anyways, let me continue.
Bedtime at 9.
9:13-10 pm (47 min), wakes up crying. Not hungry. Rock her back to sleep.
10:05 pm-10:50 pm (45 min). Again, wake up crying. Attempt to rock her back, does not work. Decide she might be hungry. Nurse. Falls asleep while nursing. Attempt to place in crib. Wakes up and cries.
Awake from around 11:20 until 1:20 am. During this time, we rock her, just hold her, lay her on our bed, try to put her in the crib, try the swing, she just will not sleep. She isn't crying the whole time, but some of the time.
This happens EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for the past 3 weeks. She is awake around 11 pm until somewhere like 1 or 2 am. And then she will usually give us a 3-3.5 hour stretch. And then nurse. And then maybe another 2 hour stretch. And then maybe 1 hour. And then up for the day. I can't believe this is enough sleep for her either.
I know it is probably bad to be putting her down for that very late afternoon/early evening nap. But she usually wakes from her nap anywhere from 4:45 pm-5:00 pm and because we have to give her the nexium, putting her to bed at 6:30 is not really an option. And she cannot make it waking up at 4:45 until even like 7:30 if we push that nexium dose up. That is way too long for her to be awake. Ugh. Can anyone please play around with her schedule and help us? I would be willing to attempt giving the Nexium earlier....maybe 6ish? Not sure if it would bother her and her reflux at night. We haven't tried that. Like I said, DESPERATE. Oh and she's almost 15 weeks old.
I know this post is like a novel long, so I really appreciate anyone who has read the whole thing and can offer some suggestions.
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@ellewoods84: I don't really have any good suggestions, as my LO was a terrible, terrible night sleeper until just recently (and she is 13 months). And she still has bad stretches now, haha.
But I just wanted to tell you that I really don't think it's anything YOU are doing---some babies are just bad sleepers. We eventually did 3 different bouts of CIO (at months, 9 months, and then a really short/easy version at 11 months which finally kind of stuck). And I did *everything* else to try to make her night sleep better: more sleep during the day, then less sleep during the day. Earlier bedtime, later bedtime. Longer stretch of awake time before bed; shorter stretch before bed. More food, less food. White noise, no white noise...higher room temperature, lower temperature. You get the idea.
There are lots of different methods for sleep training you can try, like the "pick up/put down" method that you can do if you aren't comfortable with CIO at such a young age (I wasn't).
Also, what my husband and I did to cope was Either split the night: 1 person got to sleep 9-2am uninterrupted in our bed while the other was on the couch or in LOs room; then the other person got to sleep 2-7am. And then we moved to entire nights for a while: 1 person took a whole night of LOs antics while the other slept, then we traded the next night.
I have sympathy for you---sleep deprivation is truly the worst. Good luck!
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I am so sorry- that sounds so tough on all of you
I don't really have any sleep advice, but I think @anagram made a good point that some babies are just not the greatest sleepers, and it's nothing YOU are doing wrong- so try not to beat yourself up! If I remember correctly, @mslipgloss: LO had bad reflux and she might have some advice for you re meds and/or sleep. Your LO's sleep issues could be from the reflux and nothing you are doing/not doing.
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Another momma here that has a LO that's just a terrible nighttime sleeper. DS is 12.5 months old and wasn't until last week did he go down to sleep easily and STTN! And if he had any wakings MOTN, he could put himself back down. Prior to that, he just. would. not. sleep for more than 1.5 hour sleep stretches. Heaven forbid if he's teething then he was up what seems like every 30 minutes. Oof! So I can totally commisserate on the lack of sleep.
Can you and your DH take shifts or is co-sleeping an option? At least you'll get some sleep in. *hugs*
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@Anagram: really have to second this, that you're not doing something wrong or not trying the "right" thing. i remember searching for that holy grail that would make my baby sleep well. to this day i have still not accepted that it was somewhat out of my control. it's a double-edged sword, though--it being out of my control really meant that i couldn't fix everything and i had to live with it.
but if you are looking for ideas, just to try something, you could try to extend her awake time between naps in the hopes that she consolidates and maybe drops one. definitely not a magic cure, i'm pretty sure that didn't work with my LO, but just throwing it out there as people had suggested it to me.
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@Anagram: Thanks so much for the sympathy. Sleep deprivation really does suck! I didn't realize this, but I think I have a high sleep need and getting so little of it is making me miserable! Coupled with her acid reflux (even she even has that) and the new diagnosis of MSPI....its just a lot! I keep blaming myself that we are certainly doing something wrong, but maybe not! And I am not really comfortable with CIO quite yet until we get her reflux/MSPI under control. I'm not quite sure if she's crying because she's hurting or just crying. I would love to split the night and my husband has suggested it, but my daughter will NOT take a bottle. Even more frustrating. We keep trying, but no dice. But, thank you for the advice and listening to me.
@NovBaby1112: Yeah, I am trying to come to terms that we just probably have a crap sleeper (good thing she's so cute!), but its just hard to not think we are doing something wrong. I think I am going to just try to go with the flow more and see if that helps. And that is just it, I am not sure if her sleep sucks because of the reflux or what. We have an appt with a GI specialist on Thursday, hoping we can get some answers, since her reflux still doesn't seem to be under control. Thanks for the sympathy though!
@Alivoo01: Oh wow, so you understand! It is draining and it has only been 15 weeks of sleep deprivation! I am happy that your LO has started STTN though. You must feel like a new person. Thanks for the hugs. We have tried cosleeping, it doesn't really seem to make any difference. She sleeps the same amount and we just sleep worse because we are paranoid about her in the bed with us. Plus she is so restless and wiggly, I don't get any sleep because I am anxious that she is just about to wake up.@edelweiss: Well thank you. It just seems like we must be doing SOMETHING wrong, just because her sleep sucks. But, it is looking like maybe not. It is hard to not be able to control it. But, we can't, so I guess I just better try to find a way to move on!
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I would try the later bedtime, because really, right now, her bedtime is actually 1:40 am with a really late nap. It seems like the morning nap might be more of an extension of night sleep.
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@mdf106: Yep, that is what we were thinking. And I agree with her morning nap as an extension of her night sleep because normally her naps are always 45 minutes. So....I guess instead of us just getting frustrated, we should just roll with it and put her to bed later. I just thought we should be putting her to bed earlier because by like 8:30-9 she is very very sleepy.
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I would put her to bed later, at a set bedtime. Then, after establishing a bedtime, gradually move it earlier. My LO was younger than yours when we had this problem, but a newborn his bedtime varied from midnight to 2 am. I felt like things got a little easier when I gave up on trying to get LO to sleep at 9 pm. Eventually I established a midnight bedtime, and gradually moved it earlier. I also second the advice to sleep in shifts. You could also try sleep training if you are comfortable with it. In your situation, I would probably CIO at four months or so if things do not improve by then.
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@ellewoods84: Have you tried the Comotomo bottle? My sister's little boy refused EVERY bottle but this one, it was her lifesaver to get some sleep because it was most like the breast.
I know it's hard, but sometimes kids just aren't sleepy. It could be a touch of colic too, she could be having her witching hour, although usually they are crying the whole time. I would really work with getting LO on a bottle so that way DH can help out and you can get some much needed rest!
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@mdf106: Yeah, I think we will try that. Thanks for the advice! Her set bedtime might be too early for her right now. And then we can work on moving it up. I would love to sleep in shifts, but until she can take a bottle, it would not work that great. But some sleep is better than none. I will take it. I am comfortable with sleep training, but since she has some reflux issues, I am not comfortable until those are sorted out!
@LuLu Mom: Haven't tried that one! I will give anything a try. Yeah, it doesn't really seem like a witching hour or colic because she isn't really crying! Just seems uncomfortable, but not crying. Most of the time she's cooing and talking to herself! Just frustrating. Thanks for the recommendation. -
@ellewoods84: I did some amount of sleeping in shifts without bottles. I would breastfeed LO, and go to sleep. DH would take LO for two hours. I would think at 15 weeks LO could do 2 hours without eating. He did use a pacifier during this time, and it was a fussy time. DH would wake me, and I would do the bedtime routine. It seems silly, but it helped me so much. I always felt desperate when it was really late and I had not slept much, but I was much calmer with a few hours of sleep, which led to LO going down easier.
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We did shifts without bottles. I would go to bed at 8 and DH would bring her to me when she needed to nurse. He'd go to bed around 11 and often by then, I had 3 hours sleep, which was a lifesaver. Depressing to go to bed that early, but better than complete exhaustion.
I don't really have any sleep advice, but I think @anagram made a good point that some babies are just not the greatest sleepers, and it's nothing YOU are doing wrong- so try not to beat yourself up! If I remember correctly, @mslipgloss: LO had bad reflux and she might have some advice for you re meds and/or sleep. Your LO's sleep issues could be from the reflux and nothing you are doing/not doing.
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