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Just commiseration. Turning 3 was *the* roughest patch for us. 3 has been very difficult. They're filled with the sweetest moments but also the toughest times. It does get better in spots though! Hang in there!

following, my 3 year old is the same way! my DH asked me if her behavior was "normal" because she goes to such extremes so quickly. The only advice I can offer is one on one time, I know ti's hard with a new baby, but after we brought DD2 home, I made it special that she gets to go with me. Need diapers, she got to run with me to Target because she's a big girl and we would stop for ice cream. Any quick trip even if to the store for milk, she got to come along because she's the big sister. After I started doing this (and still do it 6 months later) she acted better afterwards. Short-lived sure but it helps for sanity!

I could have written this exact post. DD is 3 and has become an absolute terror. Everything is a fight. I am due with #2 in late December and I just know things are going to get even more difficult with all of the changes the new baby is going to bring.

No real advice here. But we have let her throw her stupid tantrums and pretty much ignore them until they are over. It's been brutal.

@NovBaby1112: No advice, just commisseration! Mine was 2 when we brought baby home and we had major major behaviour. I read everything and listened to lots of parenting podcasts and did everything we were supposed to, but it just took a long time before she came out of it. I can't say as anything we did had much success, but what I found most helpful to me were things that reminded me to have empathy for my LO for such a big change. It's such a tough time!

I'm sorry! It's a phase, and it's totally normal, but is it ever rough...

We went through a couple weeks of this with DS and it was awful. I'm not sure if we did the right thing, but we stuck to our routines like crazy and he gave up trying to test our limits, at least for now. He's in day care, which probably helps because he gets attention and time with his friends there. He's allll about having attention.... I used to talk things out with him when he acted up, but now sometimes I can't because baby needs me. Then I tell him that I love him, but we'll talk when he's ready to behave. And of course a big hug when he comes around.

A friend had a baby around the same time and pulled her son out of day care. They're really struggling, between the demands for attention and the (toddler's!) awful sleeping. I hope things look better for them soon.

@NovBaby1112: Is your oldest in daycare/preschool? I'm a SAHM and was home with the oldest until she started preschool in September. She is now at school five mornings a week and it's freaking glorious. It sounds terrible, but having that time away from each other has helped our relationship significantly.

Oh.... the three-nager.... it's fun!!

Honestly, we've been seeing a child psychologist because I didn't know how to handle her without losing my shit on a daily basis. One thing that I have learned and that really does work is to take the emotion out of it.

Easier said than done, I know, but once you mean what you say and your child knows what the boundaries are (and you enforce them every time), it makes a huge difference. It does take time and a lot of patience, but that's been the key for us.

Ugh. We've had our moments over here, too, minus the newborn. What's worked for us is letting him pick between two pre-defined options (either of which works for me). Aka, pre-pick two shirts, and he gets to pick one or the other. He gets to have some control over the situation. We also started setting timers just like the recent blog post: http://www.hellobee.com/2015/10/13/the-timer-trick/

We also implemented a sticker chart -- luckily my kid is highly motivated by stickers. We would literally give him one for every tiny thing he did well. We also "caught" him being good and listening. It has generally helped.

Not sure what else to say other than I feel ya. It's hard.

@NovBaby1112: Yup, we had to do like what @BabyBoecksMom: said and really just lay down the law on a few battles.

Getting dressed in the morning we tried everything with letting her pick the night before and giving her two options etc. It finally came down to get dressed or I will get you dressed.

PS - I had baby #2 the week after DD1 turned 3. So I remember a lot!

@BabyBoecksMom: That was all so helpful, thanks for sharing!

@NovBaby1112: I can definitely commiserate. Our girls are the same age and mine is a mischievous little thing (she's lovely, but she definitely gets a thrill in pushing boundaries). I remember when she came to see me and baby brother in the hospital, I had to make DH take her for a walk so I could have a cry about how I couldn't even control my own toddler, lol.
I lose my shit on her so much more than I used to, and so does DH.

I agree with what has already been said in setting boundaries and trying to get out and doing fun things for LO#1. Once I had recovered from my c-section, we started with having people over for play dates. After that, we started play dates at museums and playgrounds and things again and baby was so young (4 weeks I think...) he didn't complain. Having both the stroller and a carrier was key for keeping him happy. If we wore A out in the morning, I didn't feel bad giving her TV in the afternoon. But I will say that days in, where TV is on, were lethal for her behaviour. She's not in preschool but I wish she was because it would be so much more fun for her at this point.
One thing that helps her actually if we are really butting heads is to just pick her up and cuddle her, no matter how mad I am, because she instantly relaxes and melts into me. It helps me remember she's just a little girl and loves me really, she's not trying to piss me off on purpose, and she needs to be babied a little still.
Sorry I'm not much help, we are in the thick of it too. But hopefully it will pass!

@NovBaby1112: yea there were several times we just had to get her dressed. If she still wasn't cooperating we would go ahead and put her in her car seat while we loaded the rest of the car up.

No real life experience with a second LO, but when my 2.5 year old gets into a defiant phase, I try to reduce the opportunities for battles if I can. Stuff like if we aren't leaving the house that day or morning, I dint make him change.