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I like to say I "stopped" rather than "quit" or "gave up," but yes, I did stop when I could have continued (though I had some complications). Ultimately breastfeeding/pumping was making me anxious and miserable and sapping the enjoyment out of spending time with my LO. I researched the benefits of BFing and did my own little risk/benefit analysis and decided that for us, going to all-formula was the best choice. I know other moms would have chosen to soldier on but I'm comfortable with my decision (with just a smidgen of lingering guilt, I won't lie).
Whatever you decide, you're doing a great job and your LO is lucky to have you! If you do decide to stop BFing, this blog post about "How To Give Up Breastfeeding And Not Feel Guilty About It" seems right up your alley.
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Oh sweetie. I know exactly how you feel. For a long time I cried through every feeding. So horrible AND the guilt of crying and being so negative while I'm supposed to be having this magical, bonding time with my new baby? So awful. I also needed both hands (and could have used some more hands!) for nursing. I always envied those moms who could just pop the baby on. Nursing in public was hell because I needed both hands (one to hold baby's head, one to position my breast) so we were always wrestling with the nursing cover. Every feeding I just wanted it to be OVER.
I totally agree with the others to make short term goals. I think my first goal was a month. Then 6 weeks. Every time I wanted to quit, I was close to a goal, so I'd just do another week just to make it to that goal so I could quit with a clear conscience. Then when I hit the goal it would be at an easier point so I'd just keep going and make a new goal. By the time I made a goal of 6 months (around 4 or 5 months?) nursing was almost second nature. Still physically difficult because of positioning, but soooooo easy compared to the beginning.
There is light at the end of the tunnel and YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! Even just making it this far you have done so much for your baby already. You are doing an amazing job at one of the most difficult things you or anyone else will EVER do.
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I totally felt like just a Big Ol Boob at first...LO was just always latched on Mah Boobs. I couldn't do anything else! But every week, it got easier and easier as we kind of got the hang of things and eventually got a schedule going. It's still tough to be soooo physically attached, ie, if LO is napping and I need to go run errands, I have to wait until she wakes up so I can feed her before leaving her with DH instead of just being all, "Peace Out! I'm going to Target! Give the baby a bottle when she wakes up!". And then I know that I need to be back in less than 2 hours, just to be safe! OR the other day when DH brought her to me as I was going to our bathroom to go #2 and she was screaming her head off starving...I didn't have 10 minutes to go have my own bodily functions! I BF'ed her and held it in, totally uncomfortable, until she was a happy camper. Stuff like that sucks!!!
However, I am deathly afraid of her getting sick and the reason that I stick with the inconvenience is because I know I'm passing so much immunity to her. FFing has been so tempting, especially early on when LO had Breastmilk Jaundice and I had to FF and pump/freeze for several days to get her well...I was like, "Holy crap, this is wonderfully easy and convenient!" But Mom Guilt got the best of me and I stuck BFing out:(
And I really grew to love that I can stick a boob in her mouth whether she's hungry or not and she is instantly calm. I fell in love with that look of pure ecstasy when she first latches on, and when she pops off and is all Milk Drunk and lazy. I would really miss that if I went to FF....
That being said, I was a FF baby. So was my DH...And we both turned out fine! I actually have the immune system of a horse or something...I've only been sick twice in the past 5 years...
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