I think two people knew when we were TTC for #1. Now that we are getting ready to TTC again, way more people know. Mostly cause they know I have baby fever and I was bitching DH got cold feet last month.
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Hmm, I don't think we will! No one knew about #1. I think a few people knew that we were "open to having a baby now" but not like "I am taking OPK to see when I ovulate", haha.
I think people are nosy as is about #2, and since we are still not 100% sure when TTC will take place, we usually just give vague answers when people ask us when we're having the next one!
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i think 2-3 people (mom, bf, and sil) know I'm no longer on BC but we're still trying to prevent. my MIL and SIL know that we want to start trying as soon as we move.
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We were the complete opposite. Most of our friends knew with TTC #1, but no family members. When we started TTC #2 we kept it very very quiet. We had some family members that were overbearing during my first pregnancy and I was willing to do anything in my power to keep them in the dark until I couldn't hide the baby bump anymore.
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No, definitely not!
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No - probably less people knew we were TTC for #2 (besides Hellobee). But we also started TTC right when Xander turned one, so I think that was part of the reason.
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Kind of. We spent a lot of time talking to other people in our situation, trying to decide if we could handle two kiddos with this condition. Ultimately we decided not to, until we got more answers about LO's condition but weren't being super careful.
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I think so, because we've had to push it back due to back surgery. No one seems to think the new timeline is a big deal, but I'm impatient!
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@LovelyPlum: I know the feeling. My time is way less then yours and I think it is hard. I hope this spring and summer go by fast for you!
I guess I am just a chatty one! Granted it is still under 10 people, but big difference!
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1 was happy surprise. We tried for #2 for 6 months so lots of people knew.
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1 we did try for, and 2 we didn't tell anyone we were trying. We don't really see it as anyone else's business try need to know. It happened quickly so it never came up with anyone anyways.
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@Smurfette: thank you! And I hope your DH's cold feet go away soon. Any idea what his new timeline might be?
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@LovelyPlum: He said March but then last night he said something about June, but I am 75% sure he was just joking around. My bday is tomorrow, so I am hoping my present is throwing the condoms away.
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Nope and I'm kind of glad we didn't since we lost that baby. People started asking right around the time we lost the baby/during my recovery time from the D&C so they knew we would be TTC shortly again. Otherwise, we didn't tell anyone.
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We're not trying quite yet (probably mid-year), but I kept it super secret the first time and was really paranoid about giving the secret away - it just felt so personal. But I have been discussing child spacing and whatnot with other parents quite a bit in the meantime, so I don't think I'm being all that private about it this time around.
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People always wanted to know when we we're having a second and I was vague about the timeline "maybe sometime next year". But we got pregnant the first month, so *shrug*. I've always been open with friends about having kids
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Nope. It was actually the opposite. People assumed we were or going to try soon after our 1 year anniversary for our first. They weren't as nosy with the second and we didn't really talk about it outside of our immediate family.
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No, but #1 took a long time. This time round, I wasn't even really sure we were in the game b/c I had only had 1 cycle postpartum that had lasted 1 day!
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I feel like I talk about it less, but more people ask me so maybe more people do know?? But they don't know the specifics necessarily. I'm in a phd program, and it's this weird thing where people who want to have kids feel like they can't talk about it openly, BUT because I do have a child, they come to me to talk about it, haha. So I've actually talked about wanting to have a 2nd to more people in this quasi-professional/collegial/friendly way than the first time around...but like, haven't talked to my close friends or parents in the same way that I did when we were ttc #1
@LovelyPlum: do you get that too in your program? I'm like the student/mama spokesperson of my department, apparently
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I feel with #2 I mentioned it on a casual way to people as in we're open to the idea of another baby now whereas we hadn't been prior. We #1 we didn't tell anyone.
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We didn't tell anyone we were TTC #1. And the only people who knew we were TTC #2 were several good friends of mine!
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We didn't tell many people we were TTC #1 until I had my miscarriages. When I had my miscarriages TTC #2, I started answering questions about when we were having another baby with letting people know it doesn't come so easily for us.
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I think a lot of people have an idea that we are going to TTC soon. We get asked about plans for #2 allllll the time and I use my trip to Spain as an excuse for holding off. So I think it will come as a shock to no one if we get pregnant shortly after I return from my trip. I try to not come out and say, "We will TTC when I get back," but I know DH has
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I didn't tell anyone either time but I think DH told his sister the second time. Maybe even the first. I'm not sure. They are very close.
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No, I don't talk about it with anyone! I'm guessing some people are expecting an announcement any time now after our loss in the fall but we'll be keeping this pregnancy to ourselves for a while still! I'm super private about my family plans, I don't need anyone analyzing my sex life, lol!
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@Smurfette: happy birthday!
I hope your DH gave you the present you were hoping for!! Enjoy your day!
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@Applesandbananas: thanks! I hope so, will find out tonight!
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@Smurfette: happy birthday!!! Hoping for b-day sexy time for you tonight!
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No one IRL knew we were TTC. It wouldn't change if we ever decided to do it again.
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More people knew about trying for #2 eventually because of the IF issues we ended up having. But at first no one knew. With #1, we were pretty open with family that we wanted kids asap after we got married.
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Nope we were not vocal about it, just would say when the ime is right!
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@nana87: haha, yes, the same thing happens here, but there's more of us, so it's spread out. Actually, around this time last year, two others in the department said "f-it" and got pregnant and now have beautiful babies (their 2nd and 3rd). There are 4 women in our program with babies, and two of them are waaaay more outspoken than me. But, of course, since there's several of us now, we've had some pushback from other grad students (one in particular) about forming a "mommy cult" and "getting all kinds of special treatment." Say WHAT?!?! We get no special treatment, and the reason we're together is because this shizz is really hard to do in grad school. Any gains we've made is because we have worked our asses off for them, thankyouverymuch. Gah! And, oh PS-no one talks to the MEN with kids in the program like this, so shut it.
/end rant
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@LovelyPlum: omg I can't believe people are being so hostile! That's terrible. My university is in the middle of a big grad student unionization push, led by a lot of folks in my department, so whenever I talk about parent issues with people it's usually in that context of how we're workers. The university has actually changed to be a bit better with its family policies for grad students since the push, even though they're fighting unionization
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@nana87: yeah, we are already unionized, so we try to approach it in that way, too. We ARE workers, shittily paid ones at that, and we help this place run. TheRe is no good reason why we should have to tip-toe around having kids. Even still, we have to fight really hard for our benefits, particularly family issues. There's currently a state working group for grad students in the state system focusing on leave, but who knows how long that will take.
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No one had a clue about #1 but a few close friends knew about #2. They were TTC too, so it was a common topic of conversation at our girls' brunches.
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Way more people knew when we were trying for #1 only because it was our first time going through infertility treatments and I wanted the support. But for #2, I'm keeping it to just us and maybe a couple close friends. I really want to be able to do a big announcement. I missed out on that with our first one.
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@Smurfette: Happy Bday!!! We get asked a lot more when number two is gonna come, and the first one is only 8.5months! I've only told a couple of people we are thinking about number 2. We were pretty private about #1 as well.
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@Smurfette: I laughed at your "cold feet" comment in the original post.
I feel I'm more open to my good friends about us TTC for #2. My dearest mom-friend C is 11 weeks with her third. Our boys were both born March 2015 so we spend a lot of time together. I asked that she let me know once she got a BFP so we could start TTC because I want a belly buddy.
I wouldn't feel comfortable telling my family or in-laws that we are TTC. That's probably a common thing. I see them the most and family can sometimes be pushy about pregnancy ("are you pregnant yet? what about now? and now?" Ugh! No thank you. My mother knows we want another, but not that we are actively trying.
/end rant
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