Following up on the unexpected visitors thread, did you want visitors at the hospital? During labor, after the birth? Family, friends?
We live pretty far from family so I knew not many would be able to visit. Before having my first I thought I would be sad about it, but actually I really didn't want much company. For both LOs my parents drove up the first full day and visited for a little while. Bil came to see our first (local) and my sister came with my parents after our second was born. Everyone else waited until we were home which was more than fine with me. And I absolutely didn't want anyone in a waiting room while I was in labor. We didn't even tell anyone I was in labor besides BIL who was taking care of the dog the first time and the toddler the second. I didn't even want people waiting by the phone at home. I'm weird about that I guess!
pomelo / 5553 posts
The first time I didn't really but my parents assumed they could come and two friends asked if it would be ok if they visited. I found it stressful, though, so for my second I said no visitors.
persimmon / 1322 posts
Yes, to a point. I wanted my mom there during labor, and she was. I didn't want anyone waiting in the waiting room, and we didn't have anyone do that. My labor was only 7 hours and she was born at 9 am. After she was born, we had a fee close family visitors.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
Yes, I loved having visitors. I felt pretty great after delivery though and had no problem nursing in front of anyone who came by.
pomegranate / 3872 posts
Nope. Just my parents and brother. I felt fine physically but I just wanted to get used to lo and breastfeeding and go home - then have visitors.
GOLD / wonderful pea / 17697 posts
I didn't really after my first. I had a rough, long L&D, and some post-delivery complications. I was trying to figure out this screaming newborn, and the hospital room was tiny and cramped to begin with. My ILs came, and my mom and SIL and her girls, and that felt like too much.
With G, though, I loved having visitors. I had a smooth C-section and was in a big, spacious, very airy room. My mom and ILs brought E within a few hours, and one of my best friends came the next day, and a few more close coworker friends the day after. They were staggered, so I didn't feel overwhelmed, and I was excited to show her off.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
No, I didn't want visitors at the hospital especially during labor and delivery. There was already so much pressure about when the baby would arrive I didn't need to feel anxious during the event. Once we got up to the recovery room having visitors would have just been uncomfortable. The hospital we delivered at is older and the room wasn't well appointed. DH didn't attempt to put things away to give us more space and with me being unable to move & bend as normal I couldn't do it myself. A well wisher sent flowers and some other stuff and there was no room to put it anywhere, but the floor. With as many interruptions for checking on me and baby plus breastfeeding entertaining visitors would have been a hassle.
coconut / 8279 posts
I thought I would, but I didn't.
My baby away was getting oxygen with a collapsed lung and I was on meds hooked up to a thousand machines because of postpartum complications.
I'm still a little sad that I didn't get photos in the hospital but we were both trying to recover and there wasn't really an appropriate time for photos.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
@rachiecakes: I do wish we had more photos of me and the new baby from both births, but it's a small regret. And more visitors wouldn't have meant more photos of me and baby.
nectarine / 2951 posts
I didn't want any family there during L&D. I had an unmedicated birth and I was in no state to socialize. I wanted my immediate family there to visit after DS was born. I did not want them there waiting while I was in labor. Both sets rushed to the hospital as soon as they got the text, and they came in soon after we moved to our room. They came both days, which in hindsight was too much. I needed to rest and focus on learning to breastfeed after being up all night in labor.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
During delivery no, but afterwards, I was open to it. I was in the hospital for 4 days and visitors came beginning on day 3.
cantaloupe / 6059 posts
No. Not even a little bit. I wanted people to wait until we got home. (My hospital only keeps you for 24 hours for vaginal deliveries so it was hardly a long wait for anyone.)
coconut / 8279 posts
@Foodnerd81: that's true! My best friend had her son 10 months after J was born. When she invited us to the hospital I made sure to get 1000 pictures of us, the baby, the new parents, etc., because the regret was still so fresh.
hostess / cantaloupe / 6486 posts
I didn't mind one bit! I honestly can't relate to people who don't want visitors at all (aside from complocations). We didn't even get half the visitors with DD2 as we did the first time and it was boring as crap.
GOLD / eggplant / 11517 posts
Beforehand this topic gave me so much anxiety. I didn't really want any visitors. Afterwards, I was so out of it and recovering from a hemmhorage that I was happy to see loved ones to sort of bring me back into reality, but I still struggled with some anxiety when I was trying to nurse with a room full of people or when a family member used my hospital room toilet and it looked like a murder scene from when I had just recently used it.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
@Mrs. Sunshine: I think it's personality- I just wanted quiet time to bond with the baby and relax and rest if I could. I was happy to show them off to the few people who came but when they left I was tired. Even with my second when Dh went home to the toddler, I chatted with the nurses and was fine with the alone time. Especially after Dh brought lo to visit and meet the baby!
nectarine / 2797 posts
Yes would have loved them! With LO1 we had my parents and sister on day one but no visitors day two and I was a bit bored! With LO2 DH was home sick with the flu after I delivered, mom and LO1 came to visit but again I was lonely and bored!
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
yes. It was boring.
grapefruit / 4361 posts
Nope to the nope to the nope. Maybe family, but they were all long distance except my mom.
We had visitors pretty much daily for the first week postpartum at home, and then every other day for the first month.
hostess / cantaloupe / 6486 posts
@Foodnerd81: I definitely found have my toddler visit super taxing too! I was worried she was too loud and bother those around us. But i do agree, it's definitely very personal.
pear / 1580 posts
I really wanted our closest friends and closest family (5 people total) there to meet the baby after the birth, but no more than that, especially since DS was in the NICU and it was really annoying to escort them in and out.
pomegranate / 3350 posts
No way during labor but both times my mom managed to drive me crazy.
I thought I'd be OK with family visiting the day after my first was born and my mom was fine but I really did not want my in laws there. I didn't want to let go of my lo and was having trouble figuring out breastfeeding so I just wanted them to leave.
With my second, we were alone a lot - DH was with LO1 and I was bored. I wanted more visitors!
coconut / 8472 posts
I did want people to visit, but it was a little overwhelming in the moment. My parents came every day, on top of all sorts of in laws, and then our closest friends too. Some of the time it was great, other times people were arriving just as the LC got to my room, so I had to tell them to go wait somewhere else. And at one point we had so many people coming and going it was hard to BF and DS went way too long without me being able to try.
We were there for several days last time, and I'm hoping we have a much shorter stay next time. I think we were there for 5 nights, including an overnight induction. This time I'll have a repeat c in the morning and I hope to only stay two nights.
pomegranate / 3921 posts
I didn't want a soul there during L&D. After that, I know I'm in the minority, but I was happy to have visitors! Being in the hospital was already not super relaxing, so I actually liked getting visits "out of the way" before we went home. The visitors to our home the first couple of days (I was only in the hospital for one day) were more stressful to me than hospital visitors.
persimmon / 1467 posts
Only our friends visited. DH's family lives close enough they could have but they waited two weeks to come see us. I was a little bummed to not be able to show off the first grandchild in the hospital.
I'd like visitors again this time, just once I am settled after delivery.
watermelon / 14467 posts
I don't this time. My boobs are going to be on display and I don't want to feel like I have to cover up if my pastor comes by or something. My parent's don't make a big deal about it, but I'd like to rest.
pomegranate / 3658 posts
No! It was a special time for me and DH and LO to be alone and get to know each other together. Our families didn't visit until LO was 4 weeks old, and I'm so grateful we had that time to gain our confidence as parents.
grapefruit / 4418 posts
No, not really. I was fine with immediate family but nothing beyond that.
persimmon / 1095 posts
No, and enjoyed my time with my son and DH. Our first family visited at about a week and a half.
honeydew / 7622 posts
Yes we had about 10 visitors after the birth. Mom visited during my induction but not active labor.
nectarine / 2173 posts
Yes we were happy to share LO with family and a few best friends.
nectarine / 2964 posts
Good question.... I actually didn't want anyone to visit other than my husband. My mom was in town so I didn't mind that too. I know a friend was visiting another friend who was giving birth at the same time and I was secretly praying she doesn't come visit me. She didn't. lol. I just was too exhausted to make small talks and think of things to say. Plus I look like a homeless person during my stay at the hospital.
pear / 1650 posts
I only wanted family to visit at the hospital, but definitely nobody during labor!
coconut / 8079 posts
My mom and MIL were in the room the whole time during labor and delivery. And we had some visitors after LO was born, a few were even unannounced. He was in the NICU and too critical during the first few days for visitors. I was glad for the support.
grapefruit / 4988 posts
Definitely not while laboring (in fact, we didn't even tell anyone we were in the hospital until I had already gotten an epidural). Once LO arrived, I liked having my dad and brother visit, and also MIL. I didn't really want anyone else. We had some aunts and cousins visit and I found that awkward. I wasn't in the hospital very long and I felt like between visitors, nurses, doctors, midwives, lactation consultants, and social workers, there was someone in our room like every hour. I barely got any time with just DH and LO.
pear / 1930 posts
Nooooooo. I am a very private person when I am tired and/or in pain and after 27 hours of active labor and a bad tear I barely wanted OH there.
cantaloupe / 6017 posts
I loved having my parents and brother visit. It was special to share with them, and one of my favorite photos of my mom ever was taken of her holding my daughter. I really treasure it (and the memories- but those are a little fuzzy). My in laws came too. Fair is fair, I guess...
Actually, my in laws brought me a massive turkey club sandwich. I hadn't eaten in like three days and I Inhaled it. So I really liked them coming too
Eta: This was all like- 8 hours after she was born. I didn't want any family there during labor and delivery!
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
I didn't care either way, but was glad only parents came b/c I was so tired and in such a daze! I felt much better when people came to visit at home.
persimmon / 1129 posts
I had a c-section. I was happy to have visitors but I wish I had been more forceful about limiting their time. Everyone who visited stayed for a long time and they were all hanging around my hospital room. Meanwhile I'm on IVs, bleeding, in pain, and nursing around the clock. Nursing was the only thing that got them out of the room - "Ok, baby needs to eat, everyone leave NOW."
pomegranate / 3437 posts
I didn't mind having visitors, I just wish they had waited until the next day to come. LO was born at 3pm, as I was being moved to my recovery room around 5:30pm we had 8 people show up! I was a mess, exhausted and starving. Next time, depending on the time I deliver, I am going to ask people to wait until the next day to visit. It was just too much. Plus I want DS to be the first visitor.