Always a bit controversial but this weighs on my mind a lot. We have a 2 year old and are ttc number 2. It was complicated when she was born as we are living in Europe away from both sets of grandparents. We fought a lot about visitors. But we had the first two weeks just the three of us before any visitors. Now that we are thinking of adding to our family I'm curious how others are managing family visits when they already have a kid at home (especially if your visitors are also coming from out of town for 2 weeks). What can I learn about what to do and what to avoid. Especially if the visits also coincide with thanksgiving or Christmas?
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I just went through something similar. We had baby 2 one week before Christmas, I got home from hospital on Sunday and that's the same day visitors started coming in. Not a lot- just dhs mom and brother, plus his one brother is local, and no one stayed with us, but it was still way too much for me. They would all take the toddler out in the morning, which was great for her, and id stay home alone with the baby. Then they would come back by lunchtime and just be there in our small condo until 9 pm. I was struggling with breastfeeding, swollen, tired as hell, and hormonal and just wanted to be able to walk around with ice packs in my bra and spend time with my new family of four, not everyone. I was overwhelmed for sure. And keep in mind I like my I laws and I didn't cook or cleanup after a meal all week. But I also really value quietly peaceful time at home which I didn't get. Plus I spent half the week alone in the bedroom breastfeeding anyway.
I know other people would welcome the extra help and company, but if you know you are someone who needs privacy I think it's good to consider that now. I said if we ever have another baby (unlikely) no visitors for at least a week. I thought this baby would be early since everyone says second babies are, but she arrived right on her due date, right before everyone arrived.
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@Legowife: we had no visitors for the first 9-10 days and it was great! It helped a lot that we had an easier baby than LO1 and DH was around to take LO1 to daycare etc., but I was really glad to have that time with just us. My parents then did come from out of town for two weeks and took LO1 to school and out on outings, and helped with dinners and dishes and held the baby so I could nap. We were lucky that the baby came a week early because that is what bought us that extra time. I agree that you will have a better sense of what will work for your family now that you have been through it once. Good luck!
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