We are the first of our friends to have kids. I love being a mom, but I feel much, much more lonely. It is almost as if the common ground is gone in a lot of my friendships. My girlfriends are out at happy hour and frivolous shopping sprees. They go out for late dinners. I'm picking noses, wiping butts, and usually need to be home by 7.
I wouldn't change my life for the world. I just wish I had more mom friends IRL who could relate.
papaya / 10473 posts
All of my friendships have changed in different ways. A bunch of my girlfriends are going to a progressive dinner/wine night tonight downtown, and I just can't make those kinds of things anymore. I mean, I guess I could pump and dump in a bathroom at each place? Womp, womp.
I feel closer to some of my friends with kids, but I feel annoyed by some of them because all they want to do is drill me with advice.
All the more reason for our Canada/Baltimore/Memphis/England trip 
pineapple / 12802 posts
Ugh. I feel like I'm in a completely different universe. You said it right, it's incredibly lonely. I'm having such a crappy friend week that I would seriously pack up my shit and leave if I could. 
womp womp. Lol! Clearly I'm having a pity party over here!
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
I think it changed more after my second LO was born. It is much harder to find childcare for 2 when I want to hang out with my friends when DH is at work! And it is harder to find time to call friends back...sometimes I just want to unwind after my kids are asleep!
pomegranate / 3003 posts
I've always been blessed with wonderful friends, but things have obviously changed since I've had my daughter. I do have several friends with kids, but I agree with @grizz: and find that many of them want to bombard me with advice that I don't always find handy. I find that my parenting choices are often a little different than theirs, and that alone can feel a little isolating. Sometimes they poke fun, or "tsk tsk" some of my choices, and that can get bothersome.
As for my friends without kids, things are definitely not the same, but we still remain close. It's just different - my priorities have changed significantly, and my focus is almost entirely on LO.
My relationship with my parents has gotten stronger, which is wonderful - my mom is essentially my best girl friend right now.
pineapple / 12566 posts
My relationship with most of my friends changed drastically after I had my son. Very few people remained close. We ended up moving just after DS turned 1, and now we live in a much more family-friendly city, and I have joined a local mom's group. Now all of my friends here are parents, so we can really relate to one another. However, I'm not as close to these ladies as I was to my single/childless friends, so I do miss the connection and depth of the friendships I had from before.
nectarine / 2031 posts
@rahlyrah: for many years I was on the other side of the mom thing. A lot of my friends have older kids one even had a teenager! (I'm 32) so I anyways felt like no matter how hard I tried to see my friends or hang out they made me feel like I wasn't apart of the special club because all of them seemed to get together. Now that I have a baby I live across the ocean so it's like starting from scratch again
papaya / 10570 posts
My friendships have really changed. E is 4 months old now and a good number of my friends have only seen me once since she was born (when they came with gifts in the first week or so). They just don't invite me to things any more - and I couldn't join them if they did I guess.
But I've also found that my relationships with my parent friends have changed. I used to go and visit them in the evenings but now I have my own baby to get to bed. We are all sat in our own houses, feeling lonely! I spent hours with my BFF and her baby from when he was born until E came along but he started daycare when E was a week old has he has been constantly sick ever since. Colds, tummy bugs, hand foot and mouth - I couldn't expose a newborn to that so I've barely seen my BFF on the last four months (and when I do its all eyes on her son because he is so active now).
Its so hard.
grapefruit / 4442 posts
Yes. I don't get to see them as often but I became closer to my sister. We were pregnant together and our kids are 3 months apart
clementine / 838 posts
I dont have kids, but most of my friends do. I have found that our friendships have changed! I am not a party girl, or a go to the bar girl, but they have more important things to do and focus on now which I understand! I have been focused on my job the last 10 years, where they focused on love and babies. We still have some things in common, but in the grand scheme of things we are books apart. I am hoping that when one day we have a baby, maybe our friendships will grow again.
pomelo / 5469 posts
Yes. I've tried to make an effort but feel like giving up sometimes because none of my friends have made the effort to keep in touch with me since S was born, apart from a congratulations when she arrived. Most of them are childless.
However I've been so lucky in a short space of time to make some new mummy friends who often invite me to spend time with them 
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
Only in the sense that we don't get together as much. But we will still make efforts to hang out without kids. We went away last weekend for the weekend, and it was heaven!!
grape / 92 posts
Yes my friendships have also changed. Some have rekindled now that I'm a mom, but others have started to fade a little. A big issue for us is that my son refused bottles, and does not STTN. He wakes up and at times doesn't want daddy to get him back to sleep...my little mama's boy SO I often have to be nearby just in case. As he gets older it is getting a little easier but by then the distance might be to great. But I figure perhaps when. They have children of their own our relationships will change again for the better!
pomegranate / 3759 posts
Yes things definitely changed. I had one friend who went through a traumatic birth experience and ever since she has just not been the same person. My bff and I still talk about the same as pre baby but she lives about 2 hours away so visiting is much harder now with kids.
GOLD / squash / 13576 posts
@rahlyrah: I think certain friendships have changed while I have created new ones. As well as having LO we moved into a house in the suburbs where everyone has children. I feel much closer to my neighbors now. My friends that are single don't like coming out to our house and I don't get to see them as much.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
Not too much. I can't talk to or see them as often, but we are still close. There are a few people who have gone MIA after having kids, though. But no big loss, I have made new mommy friends, too.
kiwi / 659 posts
I'm a little worried about this because we're the first the friends that we hang out with regularly to have kids.... We're used to late Friday night dinners, going out for drinks, etc and all of that is going to change. It already has, and I'm totally fine with that. I just hope we can still maintain the friendships..
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
Not really. We still do all the same things we did pre-baby, just at slower pace/different schedule. For example, we still go to dinners with our friends, but at an earlier time so we can be home by 9.
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