I find this saying really bothers some people! Does it bother you?
I think sometimes it just slips out and people don't mean harm by saying it.
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No.... sometimes I just don't pay attention and realize that everybody and every baby is different. Just because yours did that, doesn't mean mine will.
But then other times it freaks me out. Like when we say LO is a good sleeper EVERYBODY says, "Just wait..... you're next baby won't sleep." Thanks, that's helpful.
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Hate it! The connotation is just so negative . . . and it always makes it sound like the person saying it is expecting something bad or unpleasant to happen.
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It bugs me even if it's true! I find it condescending even if it's not consciously meant that way
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No, but only because most of the time when I've heard this it's just me and P and people say this like I'm a new mom with just her.... then I get to tell them "Oh yea, my 9 y/o went through that.." and they shut up & walk away. lol
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One of the men here does it about anything marriage/spouse related. He's been divorced 3 times and so whenever I mention anything about my marriage, or getting married, or random things my husband does (never bad things). He always comes out with that. It honestly does annoy me. I feel bad his 3 marriages didn't work out but obviously I am not him or any of his previous wives!
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@MsLipGloss: exactly this! Maybe it wouldn't bother me if it was like, "just wait...baby snuggles are awesome"
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I admit, I have used it, especially with my brother! He tends to make comments like "nothing will ever change" which of course, is so far from the truth.
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It does bother me some. If the person is just being negative and spiteful, anyway. Sometimes they are really just trying to help you understand.
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@rattles: just wait! The moment your baby snuggles into the nook of your arm and sighs her most contented sigh ever, your heart will explode.
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it bugs me!
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@mediagirl: see! That makes me smile fondly, not roll my eyes at you
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Yeah, I think it's one of the rudest ways to talk about parenting. Or anything, really.
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@mediagirl: @rattles: Actually, I must know really nice people-- I've gotten far more 'Just wait-- something awesome about babies' than any negatives! Like when I mentioned enjoying baby kicks while pregnant, instead of 'just wait until they are waking you up at night and kicking on your bladder' I tend to get, "just wait until you actually get to see them kicking or hold them" kind of things. I don't mind those at all
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I feel like it's awkward unless it's like, your BFF or something. Because how do I respond if someone tells me to do this now, just wait til you have the baby? Clearly I'm aware of what I'll be giving up. What do I say? "Oh... I know... but thanks?" It just gets really awkward, and sometimes I think comes off like they're miserable and throwing it at you! With friends who I can talk freely with it's not a big deal but some strangers or people I just know from a job or a distant relative... it irks me!!!!
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I really don't like it, but I've only gotten negative 'just waits,' and almost all of them are about how if I think I sleep poorly now, just waaait til baby. Yeah, thanks, I'm totally aware that i will be sleep-deprived, but the comments don't help the fact that I'm 29w and barely sleeping through the night as it is!
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It depends on who is saying it! Sometimes I think people say it to try and be funny, or even to be positive... I get a lot of "Look at this cute thing I just bought! Just wait until he's here, you'll be buying this too!" Other times, it's said in a condescending way, which is annoying.
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It bothers me! When my husband and I were first married I left for work before he did and he made my lunch for me everyday. I told one of my co-workers that and she scoffed, and said that wont last. My response in my head was, why the heck not? He does sweet things for me, and I do sweet things for him. We both work at our marriage. Im sure it will bother me even more when we have a babe one day!!
@runsyellowlites hahaha that is so great!
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@runsyellowlites: I say the same thing about my 11 year. It changes the conversation pretty quickly:)
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It's definitely obnoxious and negative! I'll never say that to anyone, instead I talk about how lucky they are to have a new, tiny, cuddly baby!
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@mediagirl: Yessssssss. DH and I were just talking about this last night. Some people *coughINLAWScough* like to tell us "Just wait" when we talk about something sweet that she is doing or how great of a baby she is. It feels like everything that she does well is discounted because "Just wait...she'll be a terror soon" or something like that. What if she's not? Maybe she's just a well behaved baby?
Ugh. obviously you struck a nerve with me. haha.
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Yes because it's usually followed by something very insensitive. I'm so, so sick and have been the majority of my pregnancy, and people are all 'just you wait! you'll miss these days!'
Assholes.
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@bpcmarj: that's the worst. When you're talking about this wonderful thing and people want to bring you down.
GRR!!! just say "that's wonderful!" and move on!
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I'm starting to get this now that I'm obviously pregnant. It doesn't bother me when people say it just to make conversation, but when they stare at me right in the eye when saying it then proceed to lecture me about how horrible life will be with a baby I get annoyed. What is the point of doing that to a pregnant woman? Oh, thanks - I'll make sure to save my receipt so I can return the baby once it's born.
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@mrsmenow: It really does! lol
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It bothers me with some more than others but when they follow it with, 'you have plently of time... or its only been a year... or we struggled for 5 years' like its some sort of contest. This one recently happened. Our PT is very guilty of it & it was so annoying I just stopped talking about it and changed the subject every time.
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Ugh. Hate this. People would look at me in my third trimester and ask how I was sleeping. If I would say that I was tired they would say "just wait 'til the baby gets here!". I felt like they were just setting me up! I'm sure if I had said that I felt good they would have said the same thing
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Yes, because its usually something insensitive.
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Yes. It is so rude. It reminds me of when we got engaged and one of my co-workers said "Enjoy it because now is the last time you'll ever like each other."
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It does bother me - I find if condesending. They might as well pat me on the head and say "oh little girl, one day you will understand the complex and challenging world of real grown-ups." Although, I agree, if it were followed by something positive, it would just be sweet.
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I have said it, meaning to be a turd to a few people ... the ones who think that they can put their newborn on a 4-hour feeding schedule from birth, and that babies only feed more because their parents allow them to (this was a patient's Mom).
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I don't think people say it intending to be rude. I think we all entering parenthood with naive ideas of what it will be like. And then our babies actually arrive all the images of what we thought it would be like ate shattered sometimes for the better sometimes for the worse. I think the worse experiences tend to stand out. So I think it's just people's way of warning you of what can happen so you don't feel the disappointment they did.
Now that I've experienced the just waits I try to say something positive. I try to tell new moms to enjoy whatever stage they're in (pregnancy, newborn etc) even focusing on positive "just waits" can take away from the milestones of the present.
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Yes, I hated it! I got a ton of negative stuff from my 2 coworkers who had babies when I was ~5 months pregnant. So from then on, it was a daily occurrence.
Just wait, you won't have time to put makeup on in the mornings!
Just wait, you won't find that kicking so cute when LO's kicking your bladder.
Just wait, you'll wish he was back inside!
And on and on and on. So annoying.
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It bothered me before but now I think some of the comments are funny.
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YES. I hate it.
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Yep and it still bothers me when my friends with older toddler say this. To me, it diminishes whatever the person it's said to is going through at the time.
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depended on who and how they said it!
GRR!!! just say "that's wonderful!" and move on!
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36 comments