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I'd go to the funeral. To me, saying goodbye to a friend is more important. There will be more school events.

I'd definitely go to the funeral instead of the end-of-year program.

I'm really, really sorry for your loss. I would go to the funeral and celebrate your daughter's special occasion at a later time. I think you'll need the time to grieve and say goodbye to your friend.

Is there another family member who can attend the end-of-year program? Perhaps they could tape it for you so you can still see it.

I would go to the funeral. A memorial/get together with family and friends is not the same as seeing him one last time and saying your own good bye to me.

@rahlyrah: I like this.
Maybe a grandparent can take her and video tape it.

I wouldn't miss a last chance to say goodbye and honor the life of a friend.

Were both you and your husband close to your lost friend? If you were close but he wasn't really, perhaps dad can go to the end of the year program while you attend the funeral?

i'm gonna go against most of the others and say go to the memorial on saturday, unless you were really close with the friend and the family would expect you to attend both. when there's a funeral and a memorial, i think it's perfectly acceptable to attend one and not both, unless you're family or practically family.

i'm really sorry for your loss and for your tough decision!

First off, I am so very sorry for your loss. Big hugs coming your way!!

I didn't vote because quite honestly, I'm torn for you. I saw the preschool graduation at the daycare at my work today and got teary eyed thinking about Jacob eventually being there, so today I think about that, but I know that my friends are unbelievably special to me and there really is only one time to say goodbye to your friend. I really do like the idea of someone taping the program for you! I hope there's someone who could do that for you.

I'm sorry I'm no help.

It depends on how close the friend was to me, honestly. If it were more of an acquaintance I'd go to lo's program and then to the thing on the weekend, but if it were a good friend then I'd go to the funeral.

I am so sorry. I also voted to attend the funeral.