I don't have the energy to write a post about what i'm feeling, I could just use a little boost from my Bee family.
Its been a hell of a year: Baby, cross-country travel for family emergency, sudden grandparent death, cross-country move, new jobs, temporary living space, still-unpacked apartment, solo parenting 4 days a week.
Nothing is really wrong, but nothing is really right.
pear / 1737 posts
cantaloupe / 6086 posts
Aww mama, any of those things would be hard let alone all together. You’re doing a great job just getting through and hopefully good changes happen soon. 
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
Just want to validate your feelings and say, I hear you! I hope you will be able to find your center again soon
pomegranate / 3127 posts
that's a lot on your plate. Is there an end in sight for the solo parenting thing?
nectarine / 2431 posts
Awww...I'm so sorry you are dealing with so much on your plate. I hope your next "season" is filled with much more joy, peace, and stability. Hugs, mama.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
Sometimes life gives you lemons and forgets the bag of sugar. Just know this too shall past and one day you’ll be settled in and one day your honey will be home for dinner mid-week. The one days can seem so far away though. Hang in there because they really will come.
kiwi / 617 posts
@Mrs. Goose: @bhbee: @snowjewelz: @crazydoglady: @Mrs. Lemon-Lime:
Thank you everyone
We are working on getting my husbands schedule changed, but its not looking hopeful. That might be the hardest part - if I had an end date I could deal, but right now everything is up in the air. (And has been since last august!)
I'vve been surviving for a bit, I rook a mental health weekend for myself back in Feb, which helped.
But this past Saturday I went into work to get caught up (its really busy right now). I don't ever work extra like that, so it was a huge sacrifice to give up my family time. I worked for three hours on a complicated spreadsheet, got it figured out and then lost it all. Completely. I wasted all the time, energy, effort for nothing. I was soo upset, I went home in tears. I couldn't handle life, so I cocooned myself in bed. which means my husband had to handle the chores and DD, which then spilled over into Mother's day.
So I ruined my own mother's day as well.
I know I just hit a wall, and I'm projecting my feelings onto DH, and I'm just done. But I can't be because I've got work deadlines, DD, etc.
So again, thanks for all your support. Right now its just one day at a time until the mountain is moved!
pomegranate / 3231 posts
I hear ya. I have a lot on my plate, all positive things, but still many stressors. (Twin pregnancy, promotion at work, construction project to add a bedroom for the twins, etc etc.) I was really losing it a few weeks ago and then I finally pushed myself and put my apartment back in order post construction. I actually did too much work given how pregnant I am, and I felt exhausted the next day. But then I had so much more mental clarity once I had reduced the visual clutter in my living room!
Can you get some help while your husband is away? Even just a couple of times per week for a few hours so that you have the space to clear your head.
I did not feel like myself after my son was born until I started going to the gym before work twice per week when he was around 16mo. I don't even like exercise but I needed the space, and I needed to feel healthier.
nectarine / 2436 posts
@jennlin821: girl. Things sound so rough for you. Not having a very established base is extremely unsettling, literally. I don't love when people push me towards the positive when I'm really down because I felt like it diminish my feelings. Feel what you feel and know that it probably will pass.xoxo
clementine / 874 posts
I am so sorry, that must have been super frustrating to go to all that work and then have it be lost! 
Some days I just need to cry too and letting it out without holding back really helps. Do what you can and try not to worry about the rest.
I recently saw a little Pinterest style quote: You can do anything. Not everything.
You'll get through it, I promise
persimmon / 1045 posts
@jennlin821: hugs! I hear you! I know that feeling well, there have been a number of times over the past few years I’ve actually written a laundry list of all the things that are stressing me out & it was distressing 
but in time things sorted themselves out and I am getting better at riding the waves! Just learning that even if there’s no specific end date to the madness, that it will all work out ok. I hope you find some space in there to do something enjoyable just for you
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