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Yes this is definitely a thing, but in my experience it goes both ways. I will elaborate more when I get on a computer.

I try to talk to nannies, but I haven't found many wanting to talk to me. There seems to be a lot of segregation between moms and nannies here. I don't like it.

@oliviaoblivia: same here.

I talk to nannies but I find that most don't really want to chat once they realize I'm not a nanny.

Yep. I was a nanny on the east coast for years. Because I was in my 20s and looked like my little ones people often assumed I was their mom. I would say about 95% of moms would stop talking to me once they realized I was a nanny. It made it hard to find peers because a lot of the other nannies self segregated by language and I don't speak anything but English fluently. I became pretty fast friends with the couple moms who were nice!

This sounds sort of dumb, but how do you know when someone's a nanny? I have no idea if any of the people I talk to are nannies. I assume they are the moms because nannies aren't very prevalent here, but I wouldn't ever discriminate if someone was a nanny! It's only been recently that I can even think about talking with other people when we're out because my kids can generally take care of themselves at indoor activities. If we're outside at a park I'm 100% focused on making sure one isn't about to jump off a high piece of equipment while the other goes headfirst down the slide.

@jedeve: this is what I was going to touch on. I live in a town with a very big nanny culture and there's definitely a divide. I will chat with anyone while our kids are playing but it would be hard to be close friends with a nanny--not impossible, but hard. And I'm mainly talking about the older career nannies here. They already have their nanny friends, and there is a normal amount of smack talking about employers (i think normal in any job to an extent, but super awkward when I identify more with the parent's POV).

If I'm ever home from work on an odd day when most ppl are working, and I take LO to the community room to play with the nanny kids, the nannies will totally clam up while I'm in there, even though they are all laughing and socializing when I walk in.

Having said that, I do see one younger nanny out and about who seems cool, and like I COULD be friends with her, but lets be real...I don't even have time to see my existing friends.

@twodoghouse: the nannies that I can tell are nannies are usually much older, and often a different race from the kid(s). It's usually the age that gives it away though. There are also a fair number of younger nannies that I won't be sure if they are mom or nanny/ sitter, but one way I've found to figure it out is they will call themselves by their name, not mommy (as in, "give that to Katie, it's dirty" or whatever). I generally go on the assumption that they are mom unless they say otherwise though because I feel like there is less risk of offending someone. There are a lot of nannies around me.

@twodoghouse: generally speaking, most of the nannies here are Filipino.

There does seem to be a big racial divide that I'm uncomfortable with. I don't like what the nanny/mommy & Filipino/White divide inherently teaches the kids.

I have not come across a lot of nannies around us, but our neighbors have a live in nanny that I talk to way more than the parents! I feel like the households with 2 working parents either use daycare or grandma care and I chat eith them all the time.
In our old town there were a lot of nannies and very few sahm. Most nannies would not talk to me, not the other way around.