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I think it's normal for any person to feel like they've lost "ME" in life, especially once that marriage/having kids milestone is passed. But, it's more a life adjustment/passing feelings in my opinion.

If I were to feel really "trapped", for me - that would be some sort of regret in the decisions I made to become a wife, mother, etc. And that goes all the way to my job/career choice etc.

I def have days where I miss my 'singleton' days, but I haven't experienced feeling 'trapped' in life thus far.

As far as mental breaks I give myself to practice "taking care of myself" on a regular basis is: working out, running errands alone, taking time to myself, making time for friend dates, date nights, spending time doing my regular hobbies (ie reading).

I do identify with that - although I'd never have an affair of course! I am really bored in my career but can't afford the pay cut required to start out in a new field because I have responsibilities - our mortgage, our daughter, the cost of childcare. For example, I put myself through college for four years to get my law qualifications. But when it came to it, I needed to earn £10,000pa more than my best job offer (which was, apparently, very good) to cover the cost of our bills and lifestyle. I'm sure if I really, really pushed it we could cut back and find a way but it's not just me I have to think about anymore, I need to think about my husband's happiness, my daughter's future...... and that's forever.

Oh sure, I feel trapped sometimes. I think it's as normal part of life. We get stuck in routines, etc. I really try to maintain certain things that are just "mine" that i can escape to. And having an escape isn't always a bad thing! I know when I get wound super tight and just feel myself going downhill, I get to the gym for an hour or two and come home a new person. And everybody in my household benefits from the mama being in a better mood I just think we get in ruts easily because life can become very routine.

I felt very trapped with my ex. It was a bad situation and I really didn't know what to do. I didn't want to be a failure with my marriage, but I was really, truly miserable. Once I made the decision to get out of there with DS, it felt so much better.

I have never felt trapped in my current marriage. Only that I really want to be here with my family.

I think part of growing up is making choices to pursue one path or another, and the flip side of that is that there are roads not taken and decisions that can't be undone. With marriage and kids come stability and permanence. Most days I take so much comfort in that, but it is intrinsically something in which we're "trapped" in both the big picture and the daily minutiae.

It is so hard not to feel trapped when you have little humans to look after. It is absolutely no excuse for an affair though. I have been feeling really trapped for the last month having a newborn and -40 weather. I basically sit and feed LO looking outside at the cold weather. How could you not feel trapped? It has even brought me to tears somedays because I feel my only getaway is to soak in a tub or lay in bed, where I can hear my children crying.

@looch: Yep! I would love some irresponsibility. I know my husband would too. A vacations, hell, even a bunch of money to blow at the mall. Sure I *could* just do it, but I have 3 kids to save for and day care and groceries and you know, my own personal savings for a nice vacation one day.

I really don't with my life. Well, we're currently living with my mom, and it's driving me mad, but we close on our new house on the 28th so the fact that it's almost over makes it better. I do think once LO gets here I'll feel like that more. But for now I love spending time with DH more than anything, so it's not an issue.

I do think, however, that it's really unrealistic to say people can always get out no matter what. I've never made more than $10/hr at a job, and am not qualified for anything that would really pay more. I was barely able to make ends meet with a roommate before I got married. Once I have LO, if I were to want to leave DH (and keep my kid(s)), even with child support I'd be very hard pressed to survive. If he were the type to run off and never pay, I'd wind up on welfare, maybe even if he did pay. My mom is in debt (due to circumstances beyond her control), and while she'd let us live with her, she can barely pay her own bills, much less help. I know that this isn't the type of situation you're talking about with your friend, but there are definitely situations where people, especially women with kids, wind up trapped because they're dependent on their husband's income, or other situations like having a husband so abusive that they're risking their lives if they leave.

This thread was fitting for my day today. My husband has a very demanding job working 80 hours a week right now and is currently out of town. I have a pretty demanding job and pretty much feel like a single mom. We have a 7 month old and I have to try and manage all the drop offs and picks ups, all the feedings, pretty much everything all while trying to manage my job as well. I love my life and my family, but sometimes i wish I could just have a few hours where I wasn't worrying about timing her next feeding or will I have time to pump. I agree with @babyjmama where I view weekdays as survival mode and I always feel like I am failing in some ways at being a mother and at my job.

I definitely identify with this feeling. Not all the time of course, but it's something I deal with for sure. In my case, moving to a different country so that DH can follow his dreams, becoming a SAHM not of my own free will (although maybe that's what I would have chosen anyway, I'm not sure), raising the kiddos without a support network, sometimes I feel trapped in my own life. Of course they are all choices I made, but not being able to "take a break" from it makes it hard.