Hellobee Boards

Yes, totally! Neither my husband or I have spent a lot of time with babies/littles, so we often wonder what we're doing.

Sometimes I feel like I must spend like 10x the normal amount of attention on LO and wonder if I'm being smothering, and then I also feel like I don't spend enough time focused on her - - this is like all within the same hour.

Would be nice to have a better gauge of what's normal, and whether I'm doing this "right" or not!

@Mae: he's 2.5! honestly I think your tv is good and our "I will cater to your every tiny want and give you 120% of my attention all the time" situation is bad! When he was younger we played on our phones a bit but now if he sees the phone he wants it to watch videos of himself.

Usually I am playing with him or fixing problems that he should be fixing himself (picking up trains flung on the floor etc) I'm trying to be a bit more hands off and find something to do nearby (organize clothes for new baby etc) or read a book / magazine. "Mommy do" and "daddy do" are wayyyyyy too common around here and we are really trying to help him be more of a problem solver through. Ack.

And he didn't really get into shows (Daniel was first!) until 18m. We also first started when he was sick / having a terrible allergy problem that kept him up all night. And now his shows dominate all. Don't be like me! Save your Netflix before it's too late, haha!

Yes!!! I spend all weekend running around with LO and when I talk to coworkers with kids, they seem to get much more rest on the weekends, and much more accomplished! I feel good if I've managed to get the grocery shopping done, laundry, lawn mowed, and the house somewhat picked up, while LO is underfoot!

@Mae: that's so good! I don't know when I crossed the line into pushover parent but it really does not work out well during the toddler / terrible twos stage. I just HATE hearing him cry and scream. I know I need to set more boundaries and enforce them....I give in way way way too much to what he wants and thus he acts out the most with me! It's going to be like boot camp here for kid 2. Haha.

Yes - I wonder about so many things.

I always wonder how moms that look so put together have time and energy to get ready. What are there babies doing while they get ready? I always feel like I look halfway decent but you can tell I'm a mom and had a kid hanging off my leg while I got ready.

I also wondered how so many bees have time to binge watch tv. My boys take up all of my time and they are into TV.

I did!! Until we got to the preschool age and it actually made me feel so much better about my parenting! (Not to be cocky, but I doubted myself often before that point). Now that my oldest is going to be in first grade, I really don't see other parents interact with their kids as much as I did at 3/4/5 so now I'm back to second guessing myself

I'm also the youngest, my siblings don't have kids, my friends all have younger children and I really haven't gotten close with any parents at my son's school so I don't see what others deal with. I would love to watch a super patient, respectful parent/child relationship so I could use some of their tools lol.

Yep. Especially now that I am SAH I feel like other SAHMs must be like, speed cleaning constantly and I don't get it. I always feel like I am moving in slow motion anyway, but when I am with LO it is nearly impossible to multitask.

I don't take anything at face value, I think that's the best way for me to explain what I generally think. If I see a mom that's got it all together, I usually picture her with her perfect clothes in a house that's a total wreck. It makes me feel a little better though, when I see other families with their parenting on display.

My absolute favorite place to see this in action is actually in Walt Disney World. It's the perfect storm of heat, bad behaviour, attitude and parenting challenges. I distincly remember my son melting down over a carved wooden figure in Animal Kingdom...I looked around, embarrased, only to hear another parent telling his 10 year old to cut the crap, begin enjoying herself because this vacation cost a lot of money. I relaxed from there on out because everyone has their moments.

I don't really wonder, but I have enough friends with kids and have seen my own siblings and inlaws with their kids ( we have 8 nieces and nephews total) to know how different we all are. Obviously I think I parent the best.

FWIW, maybe because I've spent the last 10 months pregnant, sick, big, and now in post partum recovery, but I can't even remember a time when I was down on the floor much with my toddler. I am in our glider or on the couch if I'm in the living room. But my older girl really is that independent type and she's generally happy to play around me, and just brings me specific things if she wants me to help (her coloring book, or a puzzle or something). The rest of the time, she putters around alone.

When she watches one of her shows, she does it on the couch or in my glider. I make it a rule that she has to be in a chair, or she stands too close to the tv, haha.

One other way that I KNOW I'm different from all my friends is that my LO still eats in her high chair for every single meal. I don't allow her to eat at her play table or on the couch or graze while playing (unless she is sick). Most of my friends are the exact opposite. I'm a lazy parent, so my parenting choices are generally about what's easiest for me (as long as it doesn't seem to make a different for LO), so it's easier for me for food mess to be in one place and I keep it that way.

Oh yeah, I wonder about this a lot. For instance, how the heck do you get chores done? I can get some things done during their naps IF they actually go down for a nap at the same time. If I'm desperate (ie someone is coming over) I will put them in the baby gated living room while I load the dish washer, but they will scream and throw things at me over the gate. Putting on Daniel Tiger might buy me a few minutes, but if I turn my back for more than a couple minutes they've climbed onto the couch and at best are throwing the books off the end table, at worst they've both climbed onto the stack of books on the end table and are wobbling precariously. I also don't understand how people shower, get ready, do their hair, fold laundry, etc. while their kids are awake.

I was at a birthday party this weekend and I went feeling so self conscious. Would my kids eat anything other than fruit? Would they pull my shirt off trying to nurse? Would they steal toys from the other kids? Would they push each other down? Would Blake throw everything (the answer to that one was yes, by the way)? Would I say no too much? Would I not say it enough? Would I be judged if I let them eat pizza and a cupcake? Would I accidentally swear in front of kids who can repeat what I'm saying? But then we got there and all the other parents were sort of just concerned with keeping their own kids relatively happy and no one cared about my weird parenting hang ups.

@twodoghouse: I feel the same way! I don't get much done during the day, especially since I try and nap when A naps since I'm now into my third tri and exhausted all the time. I have NO IDEA how I will manage to do anything once this baby comes.. And dh is the one who does the cooking because I just have no energy or time to do it. Also showering has definitely become a luxury..

I wonder this ALL the time and I KNOW it's drastically different!

I sit on the floor a lot with DD but DH rarely does, maybe 3-4 times a week he'll get down on the floor, I am down there daily. As for tv we watch whatever we want, usually espn UNLESS DD fusses for a show, she'll pick up the remote and ask for "mim mim". We don't always put on but if we aren't really paying attention to the tv then we'll put it on for her. As for chores, DD loves to help. So I can get chores like laundry and dishes done fairly easily with her help.

she still eats in her chair and we don't always eat together. This is something I'd like to change. DH eats in his recliner and i eat in the kitchen with DD who is in her chair.

Sometimes I wonder, too.

I have two sons (ages 3.5 and 1.5) and we never watch tv in front of them, so my DH and I only watch tv when they're asleep which amounts to only about an hour at most in the evenings. My oldest son wasn't really exposed to any tv until 2 (when the youngest was born) and I needed something to keep him occupied while I nursed. Even now, we only let them watch, at the most, 30 mins of tv per day which is usually when I'm cooking dinner.

We spend a lot of time at the park (probably at least 2 hrs per day), in the backyard, and doing some fun activity at home -- baking, artwork, helping mom do the laundry, vacuum, etc.

Oh, and we also spend all of our time on the floor. Only sitting on the couch when the kids are asleep and we get time to watch the boob tube.

I always wonder how people are ready for baby number 2 after x amount of time. Our LO is 19 months, and is a crazy person! I just wish I could see how other people's day-to-day is. Like, is my life that different, or maybe I'm just bad at handling the normal stress of having a toddler?

And, we never sit on the couch either!!

Yes! And I feel weird saying this because I'm so not a big celeb gossip person - but I wonder it about celebrities. Like I wonder what a day in the home of a celeb with kids is like. When they're not working. Are they involved? Do they crawl on the floor? Do they get chewed up salmon spit at them too? Do they wipe dirty butts and blow raspberries on the kids bellies? Do they also dance around like idiots to make their kids laugh?
I mean, I know they are human too. But I just wonder how involved they are and what a typical day looks like for them.

I really wish I could be a fly on the wall at daycare