I do! It stresses me out. It isn't coming from dh either. For whatever reason I feel more pressured to have 2 than I did to have 1!
Anyone else struggle with whether to be one and done? My lo is not a good sleeper at all and it is really difficult.
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I feel pressured to have 3! I would love more, but it would be a complete lifestyle change for us. Both sides of family tell us "we can't be done" now that we have a boy and girl.
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I do! And #1 isn't even here yet. But our families are already asking about #2.
Also I feel some internal pressure to decide for sure if we are having a #2 sooner rather than later because neither DH or I really like this uncertain phase in our lives (the place between "yes we are definitely having at least one kid" and "we are all done, this is our family"). We are both somewhat anxious to be done with pregnancy/newborn-ness, get the snip (DH), and move on with our set family.
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@matador84: geeze! You just can't win (with other's opinions)! I could see people saying that if you didn't have one of each as well.
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a little. i'd like to mull over whether we are one and done, but i am of "advanced maternal age" and am imposing some pressure on myself to make the decision sooner rather than later so that if we do want a second, we can do it before i'm 40.
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@Mae: exactly me too! I am typeA and do not like uncertainty. I also have a lot I want to do. I am an artist and I think about getting back to work 24/7.
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I am putting pressure on myself due to my age. I don't want to be 40 and pregnant or dealing with a newborn. But I really don't want to pay for 2 in day care.
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here here! DH and I have gone back and forth on one and done mainly so that I will have the freedom to pursue my education and career without the interruptions of another child. But I feel like in my heart, I want another one!
With me starting an extremely competitive nursing program this fall, that puts my graduation date at spring 2017. that means J will already be 5 by the time I graduate - so if I have another one right away then there will be a six year gap between them and honestly I don't want that! Even if I plan/try to get pregnant my last couple months in the program (which would likely suck just because the first trimester was not easy last time), that's still over a 5 year difference anyhow.
But, it's not an option to have another child while I'm in school - or else I would be forced to drop out. We couldn't afford two kids in childcare and me in school, much less just two in childcare. We'll be scrimping enough to put one in FT childcare just so I can go to school. Ugh.
It's a really hard decision.
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@edelweiss: @Smurfette: me too with my age!
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@Mrs. Pen: I am really happy for you that you are furthering your education. I bet that is a big decision but you have time on your side pretty young thang
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I think I'm putting pressure on myself because of my age and age gap between kids. I really want another one, but am enjoying LO right now even when he's tough.
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@Greentea: hahah awww
I do, I do have time. Which is why I'm going after what I want right now because it won't be the end of the world is there is 5-7 years between my kids, or if I just have one! J will have friends and he has cousins and doesn't "need" a sibling. I will graduate college by 30 and be able to do what I love and that is what is important! And it's good for J too, to have a happy and successful mama!! One mom told me that I should put my family first, have another child and pursue nursing once they're in school... because that's what she did and doesn't regret it - "they're only little once!". But this is a once in a lifetime shot - I may not get in 5 years down the road. I have to go for it! And either decision - I AM putting my family first.
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My in laws make comments all the time and we have a newborn. I don't feel pressured to have another though, I'm really happy with our family.
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I think its personal pressure, I always said 2 1/2 years apart, and that means I need to get on it. I do want another baby though, but I get nervous about whether I will be able to handle a newborn and toddler!
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We know we want another one but we don't feel pressure to do it NOW or at any specific time. People ask me all the time and I just tell them if they'd like to find my delivery, please, feel free. If not, we will move forward when WE are ready. Not anybody else.
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@Mrs. Pen: I am also in a similar boat because I want to pursue an mfa. I have no help with lo so I would really only want to be in school part time, but in a three year program that would take 6 years! (Even with summer course work) Another option is a distance program but I have to leave for ten days at a time twice a semester... I wonder if I should do kids then school but I also have to balance my needs...
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@Mrs. Pen: I just read your reply- yes. I know what you mean- you have to take care of yourself to take care of your family. 5 or 6 or 7 years isn't too far apart and might be nice in a way- easier to manage. You are lucky J has cousins... lo doesn't
It is good that either way he will have family around! Lucky kid. It adds to my pressure (to want her to have / to provide her with more family) but I try to remember that parents effect us most not siblings. My sisters never wanted to play outside or have pets or go swimming like I did.
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@cascademom: I feel that way too! I want time to enjoy lo #1 as well before adding more. I love her so much. I will try not to force anything or make any decisions until I get more sleep... which hopefully will happen when she's 5 or so
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@Mrs. Pen: Age gaps are pretty nice! I used to mourn the fact that DS didn't have a sibling less than 2 years younger than him, but it's going to be so much easier dealing with a baby now that DS is older and in school. Plus, he's experiencing it all now, differently than a toddler would.
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Ugh, yes. I was actually about to start a thread on feeling pressured. I just had someone in the break room totally freak out that I only want one kid. It took a lot of effort not to smack them.
I don't really feel a lot of pressure from myself or DH, because I'm 99% certain it's the right decision for us, but holy crap do I get it all the freaking time from friends and family.
Irritates the heck out of me.
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@Mrs. Pen: congrats on your program!
let's have babies together in 2017!! hehe -
@rachiecakes: haha! Let's do it! And in the meantime I can come be a nurse at mass gen
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@matador84: That's weird, I'd imagine people asking if you were going to have more children if you had 2 boys or 2 girls. Not one of each.
I do, I do have time. Which is why I'm going after what I want right now because it won't be the end of the world is there is 5-7 years between my kids, or if I just have one! J will have friends and he has cousins and doesn't "need" a sibling. I will graduate college by 30 and be able to do what I love and that is what is important! And it's good for J too, to have a happy and successful mama!! 
It is good that either way he will have family around! Lucky kid. It adds to my pressure (to want her to have / to provide her with more family) but I try to remember that parents effect us most not siblings. My sisters never wanted to play outside or have pets or go swimming like I did.
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