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I insist they stick to the schedule because it isn't fun for anyone when DS is overtired! I would lay down the law with your MIL.

We had our first date night last night, and my folks came over to watch DD for the evening. I left them some written instructions - the times of her next two feedings, what time to put in her pajamas, and when she usually starts to nod off (we bed share, so I just suggested a nighttime nap in her swing). I also left her ped's phone number, and list of where to find extra blankets, burp cloths, pajamas, and any emergency stuff. It might have been overkill, but I'm a control freak and was nervous leaving her with someone that wasn't DH, even though I trust my parents completely.

I think you should lay down the law, and if she won't listen than she can't watch the baby by herself. I feel like babies are easy, then they get hard and rigid about schedules/routines, and then get easy again. And, if someone can't follow what you have established what is right for your LO, then he or she shouldn't be trusted.

I also feel like that is disrespectful to you, your parenting decisions, and what you want to do for your LO, if that was me, I would be fuming.

@MamaBehr: I agree. For the most part, I figure they're setting themselves up to fail, so too bad for them. But the part about "MIL barged in and said 'right, Im sorry, Im getting her out,' plucked her from the car seat and took her upstairs" would be the end of that B.S. with me right away. She should at least respect your parenting while you are there doing it!

When c was an infant, I was strict on schedules. I did leave my parents with some instructions the first time they watched her.. Like when to feed her & how much.

Completely ignoring our schedule would frustrate me a lot!

My LO is very difficult to get to sleep. When my in laws baby sat she went 6 hours without a nap. Partly because she fights it, and partly because they didn't try. Now I try to only be gone a short time, so that it's okay if she doesn't nap. I always encourage them to go for a walk, too, because the stroller is a sure fire way to get her to sleep.
I try to phrase it so that it doesn't sound like I'm being critical, but rather just offering suggestions. Neither of our parents do anything we are really uncomfortable with, though.

I feel like the title thread question is a totally different situation from what you had happen, so I'll give you answers for both! haha

No, I do not leave strict instructions with my parents. I think (especially FTPs) tend to forget that our parents are *parents* too, and have been there. They might even have a better way to deal with crying, etc. I also trust my parents completely with LO, and they did a good job raising me so I don't see a reason to leave them lengthy instructions.

That said; my parents (and in-laws) don't question and interfere with my parenting while I'm in the middle of parenting - - which is what your MIL did! I tend not to say anything to my in-laws on the rare occasions that they have irritated me about how they are interacting with LO, but ask my husband to say something since it is his parents.

I would let you MIL know the schedule and tell how important it is that it be followed. Other than that there is not much you can do if you aren't there.