When talking about pregnancy, parenting, infertility, etc with my friends sometimes my miscarriage comes up. I don't go out of my way to talk about it though. Its been several months now so it's not very fresh in my mind.
My best friend lost her first pregnancy early like I did, so it is nice to have someone I can talk to who relates to what I'm feeling if I need to. And the same for her.
watermelon / 14206 posts
I do. They don't ask, but I offer relevant info when it seems appropriate. I have friends facing a potential loss, so I'm prepared to be sharing about it some more.
pomelo / 5129 posts
I talk about it with a few. A friend of mine (who introduced me to the bee) MCed not long before I did, so it was really helpful to have someone share notes with while we went through everything.
I'll bring it up with others if it comes up. A friend at work recently announced her pregnancy to me (but her office doesn't know yet) and she was saying how hard it was to keep it under wraps during the 1st tri. I commented "You could have done what I did and get norovirus at the same time. It's a great excuse." But it wasn't so much about my loss, as it was about having also been pregnant.
Another time a coworker I was close to asked if I'd known anyone who had a loss because she wasn't sure what to say to a friend who'd just had one. I opened up to her and let her know I'd had one and offered advice from experience.
I don't go out of my way to share, but if I see the opportunity to offer someone help, then I'm all about it. I don't know what I would have done without the first friend I mentioned and my SIL when I had my loss.
nectarine / 2784 posts
I do. At the time I didn't know of anyone else who had gone through the same kind of loss and it felt very isolating. I am very open about it so that if it ever happens to a friend (or friend of a friend, etc), they might be able to reach out to me as someone who has been through what they're going through.
hostess / papaya / 10219 posts
Most of my friends have experienced a loss. I've talked with a few of them. It definitely helps to know others have gone through it.
honeydew / 7917 posts
I only openly talked about it once to a friend who had just gone through a miscarriage. It felt good to let it out.
cantaloupe / 6634 posts
I do, but most of my friends don't really understand because they aren't "there yet" in life. My sis understands because she has had two losses.
clementine / 912 posts
I talked to my friends about my recent CP mostly because they all now we're trying. I didn't want to keep them in the dark, plus I wanted them to feel like we could talk about it if it ever happen to happen to them.
honeydew / 7909 posts
I'm pretty open about it since it's been 2 years. I hid it for a long time.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
I do because people are so nosey! They all ask when we are having children. I share it with them because it's the only way to truly convey "we're trying, but it's not working out in our favor." I get nothing out of it because people expect me to be emotional and it's hard to feign emotion for something I dealt with and am truly at peace with. To me it's just about being open & honest, since they all seem to want to go along the TTC journey with me.
pear / 1558 posts
I have mentioned it to some, especially in defense of our choice not to share our news about this pregnancy until we were pretty far along (& some still don't know we're expecting yet, though today's 14w). I'm not afraid to talk about it, but I've been surprised by some friends (who haven't had a loss) who seem really uncomfortable. I feel fortunate to have had family to confide in & HB. You ladies are great for that kind of conversation & understanding.
grapefruit / 4361 posts
I do, for two reasons:
1) I'm an open book with emotions and talking, so.... It's like a default setting I can't turn off!
2) My miscarriage started at work so after leaving unexpectedly and canceling parent teacher conferences for three days in a row.... About half of my coworkers knew, unavoidably.
cantaloupe / 6630 posts
I do because it helps me keep the baby's memory alive, which is very important to me. I probably over talk about it with some family, deliberately, because it annoys me that they have never brought it up.
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