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Do you teach your children to say "sir and ma'am"?

  1. Silva

    cantaloupe / 6017 posts

    No, its not common here and I"m not a fan. I will teach her to be polite, and call people by appropriate terms like Ms/Mr for teachers, etc. We are a medical family, so I will teach her to use Dr. for people as well, until she is instructed otherwise by that person. Those are things I do to show respect.

  2. LovelyPlum

    eggplant / 11408 posts

    @Littlebit: must be a RVA thing...friends from there got me doing it

  3. BananaPancakes

    grapefruit / 4817 posts

    Yes. It's the norm for where we live and we were both raised to say it.

  4. Ra

    honeydew / 7586 posts

    Nope! They are not commonly used in our area. Like others, we will teach manners and respect but not those particular terms.

  5. Lozza

    pear / 1837 posts

    @Silva: Out of curiosity, who are you going to have your LO address by "Dr. so-and-so"? (and are you using "Dr. LastName" or "Dr. FirstName"?)

  6. Silva

    cantaloupe / 6017 posts

    @Lozza: Last name, unless they specify otherwise. But thats mostly just for my husband's superiors- for his colleagues (fellow residents), we've just been using first names.

  7. nana87

    cantaloupe / 6171 posts

    no, it isn't common where I live (northeast) and I didn't grow up using those terms in the midwest (though interestingly, my parents and extended family [grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, etc] are from Texas and a bunch of people here have said it's a Texas thing--none of my family ever corrected me for not saying it). LO will definitely learn to be polite and respectful, using "please" and "thank you," and saying things "have a good day" when saying goodbye.

  8. Fronkinzankinsbride

    kiwi / 550 posts

    Yes ma'am. We live in the south. I wasn't raised doing it and its still hard for me to remember and I think it highlights that I'm not from round here.

  9. LuLu Mom

    GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts

    No, it's not common in our area.

  10. artsyfartsy

    cantaloupe / 6692 posts

    It's very common here. I'll definitely teach him to say sir and ma'am!

  11. keiki_mama

    nectarine / 2504 posts

    No, it's not common in my area.

  12. CupQuakeWalk

    coconut / 8475 posts

    @wonderstruck: where in Michigan are you from?

    I'd like them to say it but I don't see myself really enforcing it because I don't use it myself and it is uncommon here.

  13. mrsjyw

    GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts

    nope. it's not common around here. respect to elders, most definitely! saying sir or madam? nope.

  14. daniellemybelle

    cantaloupe / 6669 posts

    Reviving an old thread - just curious where folks fall on this a year or so later.

    We are teaching LO to say "yes ma'am/sir" and "no ma'am/sir" though she says, "yes please" and "no thanks/thank you" more. I feel like "please" and "thank you" are more important than the titles.

  15. .twist.

    pineapple / 12802 posts

    Nope. It's not common here.

  16. AggieDaze

    apricot / 448 posts

    @daniellemybelle: I hadn't thought of this... but I like the idea of my son saying "yes please" or "no thank you" - still adds respect (vs just yes or no) without the maam and the sir.

    At the moment, I'm just trying to get to "yes" vs. "uh huh."

  17. sometimesshesings

    apricot / 358 posts

    No. It would sound really odd here in CA. And I hate being called ma'am!!

  18. PurplePeony

    pomegranate / 3113 posts

    The only people I know who use these terms are in the military (or are retired military). I've never lived in a place where people say sir or ma'am regularly, nor am I likely to. So, nope -- won't be pushing it on DD. If we ever do move to a place where it's the norm, we'll reassess at that point.

  19. daniellemybelle

    cantaloupe / 6669 posts

    @AggieDaze: My LO is pretty horribly behaved in many ways so I am pleased with our small victory that she is usually polite! It sucks but the most important thing is modeling. I say "yeah" so that's what LO learned first. I switched to "yes please" basically all the time and she picked it up!

  20. Mrs. Lemon-Lime

    wonderful pea / 17279 posts

    We won't teach them ma'am and sir because we simply don't say it unless we're being playful. However, I say "no, thank you" and "yes, thank you" and " yes, please" and will teach it to my LOs. They will also learn to say "excuse me" instead of huh or move or a bunch of other nonsense I hear.

  21. daniellemybelle

    cantaloupe / 6669 posts

    @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Oh, "excuse me" is one we need to work on. She does say "move."

    Maybe I'm not giving her enough credit but I feel like it's hard to learn that you say "excuse me" when you burp/fart AND to move past someone...? Like the former is kind of, "I'm sorry," and the latter is not at all.

  22. Mrs. Lemon-Lime

    wonderful pea / 17279 posts

    @daniellemybelle: the English language has a ton of words and phrases that do double & triple duty- she'll pick up on it!

  23. Torchwood

    pomelo / 5607 posts

    We won't. I just don't like it, and don't think it's necessary. We won't force please or thank you either, but will be sure to use them a lot ourselves, and explain why. Teaching by example and all. With thank you especially, I want her to say it because she means it, not because we force her to.

  24. travellingbee

    hostess / papaya / 10219 posts

    I live in Texas but I'm from NY. I'm not a fan of it except to strangers. Then I think it's polite. But I think it's weird to say to family and friends. Luckily my born and bred Texan DH agrees that he isn't a fan either. So we certainly won't force the issue. Please, thank you and excuse me are much more important to me. He's pretty good with those. It melts everyone when he says them too.

  25. NurseDMB

    kiwi / 643 posts

    No, but I live near Boston and rarely ever hear people use those terms. I feel weird when people refer to me as "ma'am"

  26. yoursilverlining

    eggplant / 11824 posts

    I'm still in the same camp as last year - NO. Honestly, there is something that really bothers me about the learned/forced "ma'am/sir". It's so disingenuous, I don't find it respectful and it bugs me when I hear littles parrot it. But, I know it's the routine in much of the country. Not my part, thankfully.

  27. daniellemybelle

    cantaloupe / 6669 posts

    @Torchwood: My LO is only two but she says "thank you" when she means it and it is adorable I just melt when she is all over the top, "THANK YOU, Mommy!" But "no thanks" is pretty much what she knows as how to say no to something. She says "no thanks" rather than "no" probably 75% of the time. We just modeled it and reminded her about it when she didn't use it. It's important to us for her to polite and respectful. Honestly, it covers a multitude of toddler sins in public.

  28. Jess1483

    nectarine / 2639 posts

    No. We say it to him just being funny and he has started using it sometimes (also to be funny), but since we didn't teach it, he often gets it wrong and says sir to me or ma'am to DH. It's pretty cute.

    He uses yes, please and no thank you very well. In fact, during his rescue swim lessons he occasionally is upset and will yell "no thank you!" over and over.

  29. SugarplumsMom

    bananas / 9227 posts

    Nope, not common around our parts at all. She's taught to use first names (we live abroad) and its reinforced by preschool.

  30. Alba4

    nectarine / 2951 posts

    No, New Yorkers don't use those terms. Please and thank you will suffice.

  31. MrsYellowJacket

    apricot / 378 posts

    Of course!! We're in the south

  32. Mrs. Goose

    pear / 1737 posts

    No, we won't teach it as it is never used here.

  33. Purpledaisy

    nectarine / 2972 posts

    Nope! Not common where I live in california. I feel like ma'am is more of an insult, women take it like you're calling them old

  34. coopsmama

    cantaloupe / 6059 posts

    @Purpledaisy: Same here. Whenever I hear someone say ma'am the receiver tends to look a little offended unless they are over 70.

    I hadn't thought of this really as something I'd teach my kids because no one seems to anymore and I think it would come off a little weird.

  35. lemondrop

    bananas / 9118 posts

    We aim for, "Please/Thank you, Mr./Ms. First Name."

  36. ShootingStar

    coconut / 8472 posts

    Definitely not. I find it overly formal and kinda creepy. We will teach: please, thank you, yes please, and no thank you.

  37. Miss Ariel

    nectarine / 2204 posts

    Growing up in California I didn't realize people actually used those sayings. But now that I live in Louisiana it's a little different. Dh always tells me I'll need to remember to correct our kids once they're talking, so it's a yes here.

  38. MrsRcCar

    grapefruit / 4712 posts

    Yes we will! DH is from Louisiana and raised in Texas. It isn't super common were we live now but I love hearing it come out of my toddlers mouth 💖

  39. Mrs. Deer

    blogger / persimmon / 1231 posts

    Yes we are! When we ask her to do something she'll reply "yes ma'am!" and do it (though she often still says sir to me haha). It took some getting used but it's important to my husband so I've rolled with it. I've found it actually helps her do what she's told, it's like she knows once she replies respectfully that she'd better follow through. I've been pretty I happy with it!

  40. Mrs Hedgehog

    pear / 1812 posts

    At 2 we are learning Please and Thank You first and going from there.

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