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@78h2o: My DH was JUST like this when C was tiny. I couldn't trust him at all. He's gotten much, much better.

6 months ago? No, I couldn't trust him. I don't know how many times I left to go grocery shopping and came home to find her screaming her head off in the swing and him laying on the couch ignoring her. Now? Yes. As she's gotten older, he has gotten the hang of things and he is a great dad.

DH dresses LO in funny outfits but he is great with her!

Yes, thank goodness! I was a little overprotective at first, but he has proved numerous times that he is capable of taking just as good care of her as I am. It makes it easier to sneak out & have a little me time

100% he is extremely attentive to her. Sometimes he doesn't do things exactly the way that I would do them (he has no concern about setting bad habits and loves snuggling her to sleep, and he thinks swaddling is mean even though she loves it!) but I never worry about her safety or comfort with him.

Has your husband learned from his mistakes? I think if M rolled off the couch while husband was watching her from that moment on he would never take his eyes off her. But if you don't think he's going to change his ways on his own I would sit down with him and voice your concerns in a non aggressive way.

@78h2o: would he read child development/baby books? Or even those weekly emails that you can get about where your baby is that week...it might help clue him in to what baby's needs are and how to better interact with LO. If he's a scientific guy, you can also find studies about sleep and stuff.

As for safety situations, I would be super paranoid if LO fell/hurt himself on DH"s watch AND DH then didn't step up his awareness (an accident can happen to anyone but I would expect him to be much more aware afterward). Like bath duty--wet babies are super slippery and it is SO easy to let them slip out of your grip or even just lean forward too much and dunk their face in the water. I would say let that be a two person job for at least the first few months...maybe let him bond by being on diaper duty, or baby wearing?

And in answer to your question, yes I trust DH with LO, as in I know he would do everything in his power to keep him safe. However, that doesn't stop me from worrying (ex when he baby wears when I'm not around, I worry that he's not going to pay attention to where he's walking and will trip and fall). But pretty sure those are just new mommy worries.

@autumnlove: I remember a picture of that

@78h2o: As if you don't have enough stress to worry about as a new mom, you feel like you can never let your guard down with your husband. I'm sure that's so stressful. If you sit down with him and voice your concerns (in a very calm way), do you think he would get defensive about it or would he listen?

I know my husband was like @zippylef: said. I couldn't trust him to stay with her 6 months ago. It took some time for him to understand what he needed to do, and to bond with her. We had 9 months to bond before the baby even came, it's a little different with dads. Hopefully he'll come around very soon

I think taking an infant safety class is a good idea. I'm sure he'll get better at it with more practice and the more time he spends with LO.

I trust DH 100% in taking care of our son. He is so good with him. Though recently I've had to remind him to not leave the baby unattended on the changing table. I found him the other day grabbing something out of another room and I saw the baby on the changing table. I told him it won't be long before he is mobile and one day will roll off of there when you're not watching. He also sometimes leaves the baby in the swing, not strapped it, and is hanging out in another room where he cant see the swing. That bugs me too but I just let him know not to do that. He hasn't done it since I said something.

@78h2o: As much as I believe that it's important to trust and share responsibility with your husband, I wouldn't leave her alone with him again until he's taken an infant safety class.
There have been a lot of "whoopsies", and next time it could be serious. He needs to get shaken up a little - this is serious. It's a baby. You can't "play it by ear" when it comes to safety.

I'm so sorry you have to go through all this stress! Is there anyone else you can ask to help out and babysit when needed until he is more ready for childcare?

@78h2o: these things are FAR more upsetting for you than her, and she got what she wanted and needed as soon as you came home. I hate seeing my LO upset more than anything in the world, but she always starts smiling again way before I do :)Try not to beat yourself up about it, you didn't do anything wrong, and you're a great mum to be thinking about alternative childcare.

Hubby loves kids and has moments with them where I'm like OMG! WTF babe?! Seriously?! But he realizes the issue after I bring it to his attention. I'd trust the hubby with our LO, but I'd feel better reiterating specific instructions just to give myself a peace of mind.