Do you use non-family babysitters/mother's helpers? What if you have family close by--do you ONLY use family, or do you regularly (1x a month at least) use non-family help to watch LO?
Basically, I'm wondering--if you have family close by, do you regularly (1x a month at least) have non-family members watch LO, either in the afternoons, mornings, etc.? Or if family is close by, is that the only option for helping out with LO?
ETA not talking about full time care.
86 votes
cantaloupe / 6885 posts
I use a combo.... A lot of the times it's my parents or my sister because they only live a few mins away, but occasionally I get my high school neighbor. She came over this morning for a few hours while I went out to run errands actually...dd loves her and I think it's good for her to have non family babysitters once in a while
pomelo / 5607 posts
LO isn't here yet, but we'll do whatever makes sense. We're close to family now, and they're going to want to spend time with her more than I'll have patience for anyway, so there's no reason to look for someone else who is willing. But if we move away (fingers crossed), we'll find friends or just someone to pay.
pomegranate / 3411 posts
i don't fit into the categories above.....
I use a combination of family and non-family, but i DON'T have family close by. However, my mother comes to visit every few months and stays a couple of weeks....so during her visits we get in a couple of date nights or other things we need to do without LO. And then when it has been a while for a date night or we really need a sitter for something and my mom is not here or coming anytime soon, we will call on our former nannies to babysit.
I would like to find someone who works only as an occasional babysitter since our former nannies work full time elsewhere now and are not always available evenings or weekends unless i book them pretty far in advance. But when they are available, it is awesome because we know them so well and know they are awesome with LO (we have 3 people that I ask from, 2 of them are usually not available though!).
A couple of my friends and I talked about babysitting free for each other and taking turns, but we never organized it and we don't live that close, so that's probably why, but i still like the concept.
apricot / 288 posts
We have only used family members for babysitting so far (2+ years). It's mostly because we don't know any middle school/high school kids who live nearby, and my family is within a 20 minute drive. My supervisor's daughter would be a good option for us but she lives one town over (about 10 minutes away) and doesn't drive yet, so we'd have to get her and bring her back. I've thought about using care.com, but my husband is not really on board. Plus, at this stage, I don't really like the idea of paying someone to watch the kids and then paying for our date night on top of it!
pineapple / 12566 posts
We use non family sitters since we don't have any family nearby. But when family does come to visit, we usually squeeze in a date night. 
papaya / 10343 posts
My parents are 2 hours away and so far my mom is the only one who has babysat LO for any significant period of time (I had a friend look after her once for 30 min so I could run DH to the airport without having to hustle her into the car). But in the last 11 months DH and I have been out together without her a total of 4 times... so it isn't like we're doing a monthly date regardless lol. It isn't that I don't trust friends with my kid because I totally do, I just think they have their own shit going on. As LO gets older and requires less I hope we'll go out more. I would definitely consider a hired babysitter at some point... but not until she is off bottles and wouldn't need to sleep for that person. She's funny about who can feed her and put her down and I won't have fun on a date knowing she's at home fussing.
honeydew / 7230 posts
We've only used family so far at 11 months. I'd also have our very close friends watch them, but it hasn't come up yet. At this point they need me for all naps and bedtime so they aren't babysat yet.
pear / 1693 posts
I use a combo of family, who lives close by, and a childcare co-op that consists of about 15 local moms.
honeydew / 7463 posts
We have my IL's nearby but for true babysitting we have only paid nonfamily members. My MIL has come over for a visit and we have taken advantage and ran out to get lunch or something. But we never call them specifically to babysit.
We like to have someone who is obligated by money and will follow our rules since they don't have any other motives besides doing their job. Plus, for Saturday nights my MIL would have to spend the night. And that's just not happening 
We have a sitter every Saturday who lives down the street.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
We had a non family sitter (a sorority sister of mine) for a long time, until she moved to Europe 
. Now we mostly use MIL. We just haven't had a need to hire someone, but I keep a list on my fridge for if or when we need to. E is pretty chill and I figure she'll manage even if her schedule is off that night! She gets babysat at the gym no problem
coconut / 8234 posts
We have family nearby and we use non-family babysitters more often than family. But our non-family babysitters are friends. We have about 5 people we can call for date night right now, well 4 because one of them just had a baby.
Also, we don't go out a lot!
pomegranate / 3113 posts
No family nearby, so we don't have much choice if we want to go out or have overlapping work obligations. We do take advantage of it when my parents visit and go out for at least one date!
persimmon / 1436 posts
My ILS live right down the street but we also pay for daycare one day per week so LO can have social interaction with other kids. We've also used the parents' night out date night daycare option our Y has. It's only $20 a night and includes dinner and 4 hours of sitting.
pomelo / 5866 posts
We had our first nanny experience today. We are on vacation and 'needed' to do it in order to go skiing. The service was highly recommended according to various sources. Total success but I was a bit nervous at first. It really depends on the referral and after that if I had any red flag or even an odd feeling, I would NOT just for my own peace of mind.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
Only family because there aren't any non family that I trust.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
My inlaws live nearby and watch my older son pretty often. They invite him for playdates and will take him for overnights. He LOVES spending time with them. I also have a 13 year old mother's helper who comes over and plays in his playroom with him or takes him to the park. And once or twice a week I have an older nanny come to watch him. Originally she started so I could bring the baby to doctor's appointments for his feeding issues, but my older son absolutely adores her so she still comes The baby has only stayed with my MIL once and my mom a couple times. He doesn't take a bottle so it's just easier to bring him everywhere with me. I'm planning to leave him with the nanny for the first time in a few weeks when I have to take my older son to the dentist for the first time.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
combination. My family is my go-to, but I have several others I will call if I need childcare.
bananas / 9357 posts
We have family close by and so far only family has babysat the kids. I do have 2 friends I would trust to watch LO but have never asked since I can always ask family first.
cantaloupe / 6059 posts
Not often, but only because I'm cheap. 
I usually ask my mom or sister to babysit.
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
We have lots of family around, so I only use non-family if we can't find any family (aka free babysitting )
pomegranate / 3845 posts
No family around but we've never left LO with a baby sitter. We feel like because he's in daycare all day, every week, that we should plan outings that involve him, like family friendly restaurants, to maximize the time we get with him. We get our quality time as a couple after he goes to bed and we are generally homebodies, so it works for us!
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
Just twice in 3 years! (My friend with a LO the same age as my LO 1)
My MIL is a few blocks away and she watches my LOs every 2-3 months for date nights.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
We have family nearby, usually my parents or inlaws watch ds. But we've also had friends of friends (college aged students) watch ds a couple of times.
cantaloupe / 6630 posts
We don't have the option of family. But I have friends who feel like family, and who LO thinks of as family, who I can call upon if I need to. We haven't had to yet, but will when #2 arrives.
eggplant / 11287 posts
No, we never have. The only people who have watched our kids are our parents, siblings, and siblings' boyfriends/girlfriends.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
Yes, we don't have the option of family so we have to use a sitter if we're in a bind, but rarely for fun things like a date night.
pomelo / 5720 posts
We use only non family sitters since we don't live near family and don't really have very many family members I would trust to watch our kids.
pear / 1672 posts
Only non-family babysitters usually a woman who babysits for date nights or our nanny will come. We try to give our nanny a break though. None of of our family lives close. I do have some people who are like family, but they are not in the position to help (older and not well health-wise). We were good about going out once per month, but we haven't lately.
pomegranate / 3314 posts
No family nearby, but we have a great babysitter who is a friend of a friend. And when our parents are in town we try to fit in a date night.
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