My mom really wanted me to get one but DH and I just don't feel comfortable with someone living with us. A few of my friends have one and it seems like they are always dealing with their nanny's personal issues ... because really, they become just like a member of your family. It's just not for us but I always think it is a really great idea in theory!! Do you want one or do you have one?
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@Andrea: I'm not sure if we would for the same reasons you mentioned. Maybe if we lived in a huge mansion where she could have her very own guest house or own wing
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Nope. I wouldn't feel comfortable having someone live with us. I could see a part-time nanny, but definitely not a full time live in one. unless DH and I both worked and travelled a ton for work.
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this is something i've been thinking about lately.... how we need to move to a bigger apartment so we can have a live-in nanny lol! live-ins are also cheaper salary wise since you pay for their live-in expenses.
we're in a unique situation since we need to work a lot of hours right now as we build our businesses, so it's not something we would need long-term, but maybe through the end of the year. a live-in would help us achieve our goals faster!
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No, but maybe a non live in nanny would be nice!
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I wouldn't at all.
For one, we both work, so when we're not working, we want to be hanging out with LO ourselves. And we're really happy with LO in daycare- I think daycare is great for him.
If money were not an issue, I'd WAY rather have a cleaning service come in a couple times a week.
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I wouldn't want live-in. I would love to hire help but not to live with us. It's hard enough living with my hubby!
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I had a live-in nanny when my LO was a little over 1 year old. we moved to a bigger apt just for this reason actually. in my culture, this is the norm (in the philippines, they are called yaya's). our live-in was a former live-in for a family my aunt knew. for the time she was with us, she was like family to us (both our families are 3,000 miles away). i was working full-time at the time and DH works long hours. it was really nice to have an extra pair of hands to help out. it wasn't too weird having her live with us... she was pretty quiet though. we had interviewed a few people, and she seemed like the best fit.
the only reason we let her go was because DD was getting to an age where she needed the preschool environment and we turned the nanny's room into her room.
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No, I'm not comfortable with using nanny, definitely not a live in nanny.
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Nope. Our home is our place to unwind and be "us". If my husband wants to walk around in his boxers, he can. If we let the dishes pile up, oh well. Neither of us would feel comfortable in our own home with someone else living there. I don't want to have to retreat to a separate location to have private conversations in my own home. We're just not comfortable with that idea.
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@NYCaliMama: it definitely seems cultural. a few of my friends have moved to asia just so that they can have live-ins (oh, and not work though)!
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I have a live-in Nanny and I don't work. It's really wonderful for us for a few reasons. First, my husband is gone for two weeks every single month so it's great to have extra hands. Also, in this area it's really hard to get a permanent sitter that knows your baby, knows their routine, any issues, personality and everything that will be dedicated just to you. What good is a sitter for me if they aren't available when I need them or they don't know my child and his routine? This way she is always here if I need her and knows Liam inside out. It's also really wonderful for me to have her here as she has really become family to us. There are benefits for her too. She gets to live in NYC rent free, I cook all of our meals because I always make too much
and she gets great work experience. She really has been a blessing for us.
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Nope. I'd love someone to come 6am-6pm though. She could cook, clean and help with LO(s).
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I should mention that we have a pretty sizable home and her rooms equate to a one bedroom apartment so we don't really run into each other at every turn
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Even though it would be HELL finding someone and deciding who to let into my life at such an intimate level, I would love a live-in nanny and move to a place with a separate apartment for them. Like an au-pair or in-law suite. Basically a 1 bedroom apartment complete with kitchen and bathroom. I know living with anyone of course comes with issues, but Rob Sr. and I will always both be working full time and it would be great for there to be an adult available 24/7 for the kids. I'd love for it to be a grandparent, too, but that comes with so many more issues (figuring out how many times a week you eat together, keeping personal space separate, paying them, etc). I'd love a live-in nanny in their own apartment space AND grandparents within 40 mins driving distance. What can I say, I want it all!!
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@ecogirl: i remember your nanny thread! i definitely understand since your DH is away so much. if your DH didn't have to travel, would you get a nanny just during the day instead or would you still find benefits to having the live-in?
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Good question Andrea! I think I would still want a live-in nanny if he was home more. We go to a lot of adult functions and I volunteer a lot too so I think it would still be tricky to find someone that I totally trust that will be there whenever I need them.
That thread took a really sad turn so I'm happy that this one seems so positive! -
@ecogirl: yeah, i can definitely see that as a huge benefit versus always having to call up a sitter or having people flake out on you.
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No, but ask me after another kid comes along!
Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with daycare or nannys for others, it just isn't for us. If I was working full time, I would need one of those options just to stay sane though!
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When I was young, I had a yaya, her name was Amy. I was too young to remember her fully except for what's captured in pictures. I do remember her as being nice.
As for having a nanny, I secretly want one just because I don't have family around me, but it's just not the norm here in Sweden - it's common for young Swedish girls to be a nanny to see the world (i.e Elin, Tiger's ex wife) but they generally like to take care of their babies themselves back home - plus with paternity leave so long, it's not very practical.
But even if the opportunity presented itself, I'd feel awkward sharing our lives with an outsider. Are we all supposed to eat together? That in itself would completely discourage me.
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@Rubies: Ditto!!!!!
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We were in asia for the first 9 months of our son's life. We had a live-in helper - it's just the norm there. Otherwise, it's really difficult to find hourly baby sitters. It's also much more economical just to have a live-in.
I worked at home which was nice because I was able to oversee their interaction. I still took care of the baby a lot because I nursed and wanted to be hands on as much as possible. It was such a big help to have someone cook, clean, do laundry and grocery shop. The apartment was spotless ALL the time and it really allowed us to spend more quality time with our son.
I was kind of uncomfortable at first since I was home all the time but she never got in our way nor did the apartment feel too crowded.
I would only have live in help while the kids are young though. As the kids, get older, I'd want them to be doing a lot of the chores rather than having someone pick up after them all the time. -
@regberadaisy: Ditto. I'm also uncomfortable with the idea of a nanny in general so there's no way I'd ever get a live-in nanny.
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@Rubies: ahaha. that is funny!!!
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Boogiebea that's a great deal! My nanny soley takes care of the kids. I do the cleaning and cooking and laundry since I don't have a job I feel like that's how I contribute in our family
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No I would not like a live in nanny, I think we need time as a family. I am all for having help, but I would not be comfortable with this.
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I'm not comfortable with someone being in my home when I'm not there. Especially taking care of my baby. I feel like its bad enough i have to leave my baby at the day care but atleast the child will know that once we are home I am in charge.
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I'm torn on this one bc I really see the benefits, especially these days since I'm traveling a lot for work and it's a pain to make childcare arrangements for the extra time. But, I also really like just being our family alone in our home. I think I'd be open to it if we had a bigger place with a separate apartment/wing or if we lived somewhere overseas where it's more the norm.
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I am close to a family who has a live-in nanny and I have gotten to know her over time. She is a wonderful addition to her family and I know they think of her as a blessing. However, before I met her, I probably would have felt that it would be too strange to add another adult to your home and family life. Now I believe it just really depends on finding the right person, and if you do, s/he can be a really great part of children's lives.
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I wouldn't. Right now my mom helps out a lot due to my migraines, and as greatful as I am for her help and I love that LO gets to spend lots of time with her grandma, I hate that I'm not the one taking care of her. I hate that I don't get to feed her, change her diaper, play with her, etc. So if I had a nanny, I'd probably still do all of the work.
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Artbee some of my friends literally do nothing except interact verbally with their kids while the nanny does everything else. I find it odd honestly. It's your child you should want to hold them, play with them and teach them stuff! I even know a woman whose son plays with Liam that doesn't get up for feedings with her newborn! The nanny does! Isn't that strange?
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Where we live now, Mexico, there is a huge nanny culture and I find it really off putting. I can see the advantages for sure, but I feel like at a certain point you need to draw the line and do some of the parenting yourself, and that's harder to do when there is someone at your disposal every day at all hours. So to answer the question- no, but maybe a non-live-in half-day nanny?
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i don't want one but it would be nice to have help around the clock.
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Nope, I don't like strangers in my house. I'd be hardpressed to hire a cleaning person because I don't want them sifting through stuff...I'd have to clean and double lock up stuff, just for them to clean.LOL
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No way. I'm a private person and having someone all up in my business all the time would really get to me.
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I don't think I would. I Think I would have a hard time living with someone else. I don't think nannies are very common here either.
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I don't think I would want one, either. I think it's hard to enough to live with my DH, now let alone a nanny.
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It is so funny how our nanny has just become one of the family. She just got back from her vacation and the kids are finally asleep so now we are sitting on the couch in our pajamas, eating Ben and Jerry's and watching all the episodes of Big Bang Theory that we dvrd while she was gone
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Ask me 2 years ago and I would have been against it but after seeing it in action, I would consider it. My SIL has a live-in nanny in Hong Kong and it works out great for her. The nanny is technically on-duty through dinnertime and is responsible for specific things throughout the day. Afterwards, she retires to her quarters (small studio which has a separate entrance/exit to the outside). This allows my SIL to have help during the day and still have privacy with her family at night. Oh, and the nanny gets Sundays off.
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My nanny gets sundays off too Red! She has a boyfriend here and goes to church with him
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39 comments