I haven't told her, but I feel bad because I go to 'doctors appt' pretty frequently.
But there is also an issue with our work relationship, she is sometimes hard to read and I don't feel completely open to tell her this.
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Yep! I felt I should explain all my doctors appointments. She's really supportive.
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No, she doesn't. She makes a lot of comments about how no one is allowed to have any babies because a couple years ago she lost two members of her staff when they had babies and decided to stay at home. I know that she's "joking," but it's still one of those things that makes it a little uncomfortable to be like "oh hey, I'm hoping to get pregnant soon." Most of my boss' employees are young married women, though, so I think she must know that a lot of us would like to have kids at some point .
Over the last few months when I've had a lot more dr. appointments, I've been able to schedule a lot of them around lunch time. We get an hour for lunch, which is more than enough time to run out for bloodwork or even for a pelvic exam with my dr.
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i told mine when we decided to start moving forward with IVF because i knew there would be a ton of doctor's appointments. my boss was really supportive, and its been nice to be able to be open about upcoming appointments and things.
as a side note, i work in a really small office, so i knew that they would definitely notice if i was going to a ton of doctors appointments (there are literally only 4 of us in the whole office)
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At first I didn't tell my boss about our infertility struggle. When I started having more doctor's appointments and needing time off, I told her. She went through IVF to have her twins so she totally understands. She doesn't question the time off for appointments and actually told me that I can talk to her if I need support or have questions about IUI or IVF. I really don't have a personal relationship with her (it was strictly work before) so this is a little odd for me. I don't really trust her so I don't go to her for support like she offered, but it is nice to know that I don't have to worry about taking time off for appointments.
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Yes, my boss does know. We married about 1.5 years ago and I have been pretty open that we would like to have kids. Once I started injectible meds, I told her more about it because I knew I would have very frequent appointments. She is actually one of the few people IRL who I told that we are considering IVF. She is very understanding, even though she doesn't have kids herself.
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I told my manager, after my miscarriage I needed some time away from the office and she let me work from home without hesitation. And then when we started with all of our RE appointments I told her about that, mostly because the appointments are so frequent and I didn't want her to think I was interviewing for other jobs or something! She has been understanding.
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I told her because of all of the doctor's appointments. She was super understanding and even wished me a hearty good luck! She just had her own LO last year and is loving life, so that might have had something to do with it.
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No way! I have like 5 male bosses, they would not understand at all!
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I told my boss when we started the injectibles/IUI since I had so many Dr's appointments. He was very supportive and told me he had friends who struggled with infertility.
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No way. My last pregnancy was terrible because of discrimination. You never have to disclose medical information.
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My boss is also a family friend, so DH especially had been rather open with him about things from the beginning and he'd been super supportive because him and his first wife had dealt with infertility issues themselves. We told him when we started meeting with the RE because I was having frequent appointments that kept me away from the office and then we told him right away when it worked (we knew he would've asked anyway). He's been more proud than a parent of our BFP. I think it really depends on your boss, your relationship with them, and any discrimination you fear. There are three of us pregnant in the office right now, which he probably doesn't love but he knows we're all coming back.
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My boss knows, but I think it depends on the relationship you have with your boss. We are very honest with each other, so I told him. Some previous bosses though, I wouldn't have ever said a word.
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I agree. It really does depend on your relationship and how much you are willing to share. I had to tell my boss even though I wanted to keep it private. He was very understanding. It's true that you are under no obligation to disclose medical info, but your boss will rightly start questioning what's going on, esp if you take a lot of time off, which is needed for IVF. At least it was for me since my RE is far away.
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I did once we started seeing our RE. I knew it would mean lots of appointments and monitoring. I didn't want the added stress of having to come up with excuses or feeling badly about appointments. But I also work in a small office. It's a husband, wife and their son. And me!
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I haven't told my manager, she is a bit difficult to read also.
The other reason is that I don't think she needs to know until there is something to tell that will affect my work ie I'm pregnant, or about to undergo serious treatment. -
I haven't told my boss, but I think she'd be supportive if I do have to tell her. My RE opens at 7, and it's only about 10 mins from work so I've been able to keep it under wraps so far.
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I'm not experiencing any issues but, if I were to, I think my boss would be okay with knowing. She's a mom of 2 and supports a very family-friendly environment. However, I don't know if I would tell her. It depends, I guess.
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Mine knows. She was my equal co-worker before she became my boss. She's known since we started TTC over 4-1/2 yrs ago & is extremely supportive. We're a small office so it would be very difficult to get around without sharing something. I can't imagine how difficult it would to not have a supportive boss/keep it a secret with so many appts. Now, she's the only one that knows at work & I honestly love her to death.
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18 comments