We tragically lost our dog a while ago, and are just getting to the point where we're thinking about getting a new one. Long story short, we've been offered one of the pups from a litter that's expected next month. The issue is that I'm 33 weeks pregnant with our first little one. My question is - am I absolutely nuts to have a newborn and a puppy at the same time? I'll be taking three months maternity leave, and the puppy would probably be ready to come home when I'm around 4 weeks PP.
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yes, your crazy!!!
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I'm a huge dog lover and I hate to say this, but yes, you are nuts. That sounds exhausting.
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I don't think you are crazy, as long as you have help from your SO. I'm a dog person though. I got my third dog when M was 11 months. DH helps a lot, though, as does D.
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I love dogs, but I wouldn't do this.
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Def not a good idea! Our (5 year old) dog is super laid back and low maintenance and even she added stress and work to keep up with her regular routine when we brought baby home.
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I am a huge dog lover, and I wouldn't do this. There's always time to get a puppy - see how you find taking care of a newborn first. I didn't have a lot left over for my adult dog, let alone a puppy.
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I would not do a puppy and first newborn at the same time.
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Yikes, I was afraid this would be the general consensus. So follow-up question - when do you think you'd finally feel comfortable introducing a new dog?
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Don't do it!!! I love my dog, but I felt very resentful towards her when LO was young. I was soooooo exhausted and just when I would sit down, she would ask to go out or something else that would drain what little energy I had left and it made me wish I didn't have a dog. I love her to bits and she's great with DS but it's just one more thing to add to the "to do" list. It's getting better now, but as you know we are gearing up to welcome #2 and I expect similar sentiments again this time. I would DEFINITELY recommend waiting.
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Don't do it! I've had a puppy and I've had a newborn and having both sounds miserable.
I think I would be ready for a dog when my LO is 1 year (assuming I lived in the suburbs in my own house by then).
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@raspberries: Just wait and see how you do with your LO I would say. It is different for every mom. I still don't feel ready and my LO is 2.5 years but I could see how some might feel ready around 8 months to a 1 year? It really just depends, your LO could be an angel or could be very high needs and take all your energy. Take your time!
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@raspberries: I would say around this age (when youngest is around 2) would be a safe time. DS is old enough to run with her and throw some toys, and you have a bit more energy (somehow). If you are having multiple children I would wait until the last one arrives before welcoming a pupster.
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I'd wait. And I'd wait until LO is old enough to help with the doggy chores...
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@raspberries: I would wait and see how you feel and not plan it! We lost our dog a month ago, and I have a 2 month old and a 2 year old. I am waiting until I feel like I have that leftover bit of energy. I feel like our home is a bit too quiet with no dog in it, but I absolutely do not have the energy right now to get one. I feel like when we're ready for one, it will become clear.
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We got a puppy when LO was about 16-17 months. It's definitely been more work, but hasn't been ridiculously impossible or as horrendous as a lot of people made it out to be (we got an English Bulldig too, so not exactly a super high-energy needs dog). That being said, there's no way I'd get one with a newborn!
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@raspberries: age 8?
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Do you or your SO have flexible work schedules/WFH? It's so hard to train and housebreak a puppy if you're away at work all day. Being home on maternity leave solves that issue, but taking care of a newborn and a puppy at once seems quite draining! (Probably easier than twins, though!)
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Ha, I'm surprised everyone is against this! We got a puppy a year ago and she was way easier that I'd thought (obviously depends on the puppy) and I think that being home for maternity leave would be a great time for housetraining, etc. Though if you ended up with a super high maintenance puppy and a colicky LO it could be a disaster! So I wouldn't say no for sure, but I would really think about it carefully. Also I am a HUGE rescue advocate (4 pets and all rescues, even the puppy!) and would definitely encourage adoption, rather than a planned litter because there are so many pups out there needing homes. I feel like the best solution would be getting an adult rescue that has a really calm, easy temperament (maybe try and find a rescue group that uses fosters so you have a good idea of temperament in the home) so you can fill the canine void and not deal with puppy stress! Our puppy has been super chill and low maintenance but we had friends who got a puppy at the same time (a somewhat puppy mill purebred lab) who has been an absolute disaster and still is, ironically they got a purebred so she was predictable, ha!
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I would do it (huge dog lover). You have middle of night wake ups with a dog, and a baby- knock them out at the same time
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Totally nuts - sorry!
We had 4 dogs when DS1 was born. We are down to two (one got hit by a car and one we had to give away). So I was a dog person! I wouldnt get one until the baby was at least 3. Puppies are high energy for like 3 years! So much work!
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I'd wait. Or at least get an older dog that is already potty trained and has low exercise needs.
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I just wouldn't want to risk not being able to take time to potty train my puppy at the prime time and then have a dog in my house who isn't potty trained as well as an infant.
Plus puppies require so much taking out and walking and monitoring, I just would have lost my mind trying to do that and do the baby thing at the same time. There's no way for me.
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Yes. My dog was almost 9 when DD was born and the dog was my baby but after I had DD I could barely even look at the dog for a while
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Huge dog lover and I would not do it! It's not fair to the puppy or your baby - both are babies and need decent chunks of your undivided attention.
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@Rockies11: I think that's part of the issue - our house feels so quiet and empty right now since we've always had a dog. And I think I only abstractly know how much crazier it'll feel with a baby, so I'm afraid it'll seem like something is still missing after LO is here.
@ms.line: We don't have flexible schedules, which is part of why I was even considering getting a puppy while on maternity leave - I'd hopefully be able to get house-training and crate-training out of the way while I'm at home. With our last pup, I was between jobs and able to house-train her pretty quickly, but I've never tried to do it while holding a full-time position.
@MenagerieMama: That's not a bad idea - maybe an older, patient dog would be a good alternative? The long story I was referring to in my original post is that a friend of ours adopted the sweetest stray dog, who turned out to be newly pregnant - the vet says the puppies will probably be born around July 20, and my friend is trying to line up a few homes for them in advance, which is how we were offered one. So not exactly a planned litter, and we'd be helping out a friend, but I'm nervous that I'm overestimating my ability to deal with both a newborn and a puppy.
@Dandelion: @dc yoga bee: Hahaha, I'm really tempted! Maybe I could extract a promise from DH that he'd be totally on board with both diaper-changing and late-night trips outside?
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@raspberries: Aw, that's a great potential puppy story! Okay I'm going to be the solo pro-get a dog team here. I do think it would be a lot easier with an adult dog, but DH and I like to make our lives harder than they need to be by always pushing the limit so we would probably go for getting a dog. I think if you had good support you could make the puppy plan work, though it would definitely be a wildcard if you end up with a high needs puppy and newborn! But I would go mad without a dog in the house and it's not like it's going to get easier in the very near future. At least going now you'll have time to get some training in before LO is mobile. My full disclosure is that we have 2 dogs, 2 cats, and LO's first outing was to the local dog park and we drove all 4 animals with us when we moved across the country last year. So we're a little over dedicated!
ETA: Also only puppy if you have a yard. We ended up moving somewhere without a yard and having to take the dogs out on potty break walks with a newborn was super hard (our "puppy" still needed more frequent breaks than our older dog). But we did it. But definitely wouldn't want to potty train a puppy without a yard while juggling a newborn.
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@raspberries: what kind of dog? We have big, energetic dogs that are whirlwinds are puppies. But if you were looking at a breed that is calm and the puppy phase is short, I wouldn't automatically say no.
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I love dogs (have 2) but they were both adopted when they were older at the age of 3. At Christmas, I had to dog sit for my dogs and my sister's dogs (one of which was a 11 week puppy). It was exhausting. The puppy was the most difficult to watch by far. I had to dog sit for 2 weeks but in that short time, I told the DH that we are never going to adopt a puppy. Both of our dogs are shelter dogs, which is fine by us. I'll also say that even with a 3 year old shelter dog, those first few weeks were hard. I would not want to add a newborn baby into the mix. If there was a dog that I wanted to adopt, I probably would lean towards adopting the dog now and have a good few weeks of training before the baby arrives. That is a big IF.
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I'm a HUGEEEEEEEE dog lover but I can't imagine having a puppy (or any dog under the age of oh, 4) right now. My dogs used to be my LIFE and now I feel more annoyed than anything most days
I would wait til you have the kiddo(s) under control and like, age 3+ maybe haha. Don't add more crazy to the mix than you need.
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I love my dog but I think you're nuts! The first few months with our puppy were soooo stressful and crazy (housetrained easily but crazy high energy and destructive even with 3 walks a day) - would not want to experience that and a newborn at the same time.
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Yes, I think it is crazy sorry! My lo is 8 weeks and it is tough getting my very understanding dog fed and out to potty at his normal times everyday. I just couldn't imagine having a puppy that isn't potty trained, has crazy amount of energy and desire to chew on everything around the house. I think once your baby is here you will be thankful you waited!
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Don't do it! We have a 9 year old dog and a 10 month old baby. I trust our dog completely but still would NEVER allow them to be alone together even for a minute, which just adds another layer of inconvenience. If we had a fenced in yard it might be a little easier, but even still I don't think it's a good idea. The extra cleaning and sweeping of all the dog hair now that our baby is crawling is exhausting. I love our dog and we wouldn't give her away but I do sometimes dream about not having to spend time taking care of her in addition to LO.
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Don't do it!!!
If we didn't already have our furbabies (who were 5 and 4) when we had DS, we would definitely have waited to get dogs (if ever) until our kids were school-aged.
I LOVE my dogs dearly, but they annoy me most days more than anything and I definitely don't give them the attention they deserve most days.
And these are fully trained dogs we've had since they were puppies! I can't imagine a brand new baby + puppy combo!
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We actually had almost the exact same situation come up when I was pregnant! We already have a six-year-old lab mix, but one of our friends adopted a stray and soon found out that the stray was pregnant. She ended up giving birth to seven puppies that they were trying to find good homes for.
DH and I agreed that if we were not pregnant we would be very tempted to bring in the puppy. (The puppy would have come home about a month before the baby). But as much as I love dogs, a puppy and baby were just too much to even consider taking on at once!
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@snowjewelz: yup. This is how it's going for my pups now they have eachother but are not getting the love they once did, I know it will get better/easier.
If you miss having a dog ask to borrow a friends for a week
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@raspberries: Your house will feel much less quiet when baby arrives, I promise! I know it sounds jerky and you can't imagine having ill feelings towards a dog, but your instincts towards your baby will be MUCH stronger than your want for a dog and your baby (and your own) needs will always come before the dog which will lead you to feel guilty about the dog not getting the attention they deserve. I'm only now feeling like my dog is getting the love and attention she has earned by being such a good girl since the day we brought her home. Enjoy baby to the fullest, there's lots of time for a dog later.
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@mrsjyw: same!
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Alright, alright, you guys have pretty much convinced me it's a no-go. I'm glad I have the 'Bee to talk me down from something that seems like a brilliant idea at the time. I think I'll tell my friend that I can't definitely take a puppy with a baby on the way - if she still has some that need to go when I'm 4 weeks PP, it seems like I won't be nearly as tempted as I am right now.
@getjazzy: @mrsjyw: @kjpugs: Check in with me in 6 months, and I'll probably be weeping with relief that we didn't add a puppy to the newborn mix!
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Yeah, I'm with nuts. I have two big dogs that I absolutely adore, but after having a kid, things are really different. I would absolutely wait until your kid is 1 or 2 and see what you have to give to another creature at that point. Getting one while you have a new born is just bonkers, imho.
I would wait til you have the kiddo(s) under control and like, age 3+ maybe haha. Don't add more crazy to the mix than you need.
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