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What the? I can't even.
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I don't see how even the strictest of BF advocates could say that not giving your child breast milk - considering the medication - would be the better option here. Mind boggling.
Gee I wonder how my FF baby is still kickin'!
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Some people are seriously too much. I had a really overbearing midwife about breastfeeding. She was really upset I wasn't going to take a class about it and I told her I did lots of research and watched videos, and she said to me "Imagine that you're playing a tennis match for the life of your child in 4 weeks. And winning this game, which you've never played before, is the only way to ensure the health of your child. Wouldn't you take a lesson? Or would you just watch a youtube video about how to play tennis?" Like ummmmm a bit dramatic much?
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@Mae: That is honest to God to stupidest analogy I've ever heard. Because in order for it to be the same thing you would have to take a tennis lesson with no ball and no racket since you would be taking a breastfeeding lesson with no baby and no lactating boobs.
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@Mae: Ha, I felt the bf-ing class I took was pretty worthless. To continue with your MW's analogy, it was like taking a tennis class without a racket.
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@MamaMoose: @ShootingStar: Right. I did not take the class and we are doing fine. I have had some issues/questions but I used the LC in the hospital a lot and have asked HB a lot and we're doing great! I don't think a class would've helped at all because my issues have not been lack of understanding, but more trouble-shooting issues that have come up.
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That's just insane. I have no other words.
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WTF, good riddance. I highly doubt Gerber and friends would be in business if formula killed babies.
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That's nuts!!! I can't believe she said that. I'm definitely a breastfeeding and "breast is best" advocate. But I'm also a big on the fact that just because breastmilk is the best choice doesn't make formula a bad one. And you have a legit reason to use formula. You're a smart mommy. Guilt shaming FF moms and spreading scary and false info is just bad and unprofessional on her part.
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I guess, according to this woman, I am currently parenting a ghost. Boo!
On a more serious note - you don't need her. Not only is this comment ignorant and misguided, but it's incredibly unprofessional.
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Please, please, PLEASE fire this chick. You are doing the only thing that anyone can ask of a parent-making an informed decision about what is best for your child given the circumstances you are currently in. Shame on her for even implying otherwise.
I want to punch this woman for making this time one ounce more stressful for you. You can-and WILL- be amazing.
:angryface: :angryface: :angryface:
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That is so inappropriate! What an unprofessional, completely over the top and over the line thing to say! Not to mention, completely wrong
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Im sorry because Im about to offend some people with what I'm about to say, but...
what. a. cunt.
Sorry, some people deserve that word. She does, in my book.
She's a bigoted moron. Fire her ass. Now. She's just going to cause you more grief later on if you keep her around.
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Wow. That is ridiculous. How could that woman even be a doula? How is that helpful advice to anyone?????
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What a fucking dumbass.
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That is INSANE! Definitely move on to someone new ASAP.
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I emailed her. I told her I just couldn't work with her knowing she felt I was harming my child.
It's hard enough admitting that you can't/aren't going to BF when you know there are expectations, I hate then having to go through the whole explanation about why; it's honestly no one's business why! It happens for valid reasons. But then for someone to respond that way is just ridiculous.
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@spaniellove: I would report her to DONA or whoever she is licensed through. That is a horrible thing to say to someone who has wrestled with their choice & is trying to protect their child!
Formula is safe, good food for babies. That was one of my mantras actually when I was feeling guilty about supplementing (I had a lot of PP anxiety). Donor milk is a good choice too but it's not for everyone - we did not pursue it personally.
One option you do have (if you are even interested) if you end up getting engorged & decide to pump, is to heavily dilute your breastmilk with fomula. That way you don't "waste" the milk & your LO can get some of the benefits. I know some moms in a breastfeeding FB group I am in do this. No pressure of course - just an idea.
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@spaniellove: Ummm, if there is a licensing agency or if she has a supervisor, I would tell them immediately. New moms can be fragile and they do not need someone spewing lies into their ears.
I just learned that for children with kidney disease, pediatric nephrologists are actually recommending that they continue formula and avoid cow's milk when they turn one. So, yeah, formula is evil.
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I really hate fear mongering. It seems like she has a huge disregard for your medical issues / doesn't seem aware of the severity of anti-epileptic medication use in pregnancy and lactation. My nearly 1 year old is thriving and he's had solely poison since 15 weeks.... I think it is time for doula number 3.
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@spaniellove: Good riddance. I would have been like BYE as soon as she said that. She is not a medical professional, nevermind the fact that there are babies literally dying of starvation in other countries who's mothers would KILL to have a can of formula to save their babies' lives. I totally support doing things naturally, but I am completely turned off by the amount of judgmental BS that has come out of some of these circles. I raise my can of Diet Coke to you lady.
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YES please report her. If she even has a license. Ugh, i hate that about doulas.
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That person is an asshole.
I've FF all THREE of my babies and they are ALL still alive and well.
I'd report her and make sure she knew it.Ugh people piss me off.
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What the hell?!?! That is insane. I am so sorry.
Is it an option to find a new (sane) doula?
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@spaniellove: I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I'm glad you fired her, you don't need that around you during labor and the first few days/weeks of your son's life. You and your husband are going to do great on your own.
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That is absolutely disgusting but it's good that you know you don't need that negativity in your life. You and your baby deserve much better.
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let the door hit her on the way out!!!!
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Wow, what a nasty witch. I'm glad you're firing her ass.
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Also - I would look her up on doulamatch.net or any other such sites where she might be listed and leave a review letting other mamas know what happened.
Nobody should have to take that kind of shit from their doula - she's supposed to be a support!
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@spaniellove: I hope all your email said was, "BYE BITCH!"
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Yes. Fire her. Absolutely. I can't believe she uttered those words!
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OMG that is INSANE! I'm so glad you fired her - you do not need that kind of batshit crazy around you during labour and in the early PP days! Ugh!
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@Arden: Yeah I'd definitely agree with that advice. You can leave a review wherever she's listed herself online!
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Ridiculous!! Idiot woman.
Our doula was pretty worthless too, so I don't think you're really missing out on much by not having one!
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Ugh so ignorant, good thing you fired her. My Doula was out of the country when I went into labor and i did just fine with DH and hospital staff. Don't think I will bother with one next time. Also needing to feed my baby formula and he is just fine.
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I think you majorly dodged a bullet not having her as your PP doula - you already get SO MUCH information (a lot of it conflicting and incendiary) in the PP days from nurses, midwives, doctors and well-meaning friends and families, the last thing you need is another supposed "expert" giving you bad information. I'm so sorry
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@Cherrybee: Um, you are the winner of the interwebs for the doucha comment.
@spaniellove: good riddance!
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76 comments