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I think it was hard on both of us and definitely made us feel like an island unto ourselves BUT it was easier on DH. He met with a urologist and ultimately the urologist decided against surgery for him so I was the one who went through all of the treatments and procedures. All he had to do was provide the sample so he didn't quite understand what I went through. We actually just discussed this last weekend because it bothered me that he really thought we had it easy. Yes, we had it easier than other couples in some ways (our first IVF was a success) but we weren't able to conceive naturally.

@Mrs. Polish: like you, it brought us closer. as much as our friends and family sympathized, no one but us knew exactly what we were going through.

We've always been close, but IF has definitely brought us closer. DH has spent so much time caring for me and going to my appointments (every single monitoring appt, writing down my follicle sizes) and watching trashy TV with me to make me feel better.

It was rough at first when he didn't understand why I researched everything so much. But after he saw how much of our care is in our hands, he tried hard to make sure we were a good team.

@tequiero21: He is! I'm glad you made the comment about date nights and trips...that's been missing since we started TTC and we're making an effort to get that in again.

In a counseling session, my Dh told the psychologist that he thought I was brave. He hadn't said that to me before, and it was awesome to hear! It gave me the courage to do things I was afraid to do. (Namely the hsg test, it scared the crap out of me.)

I agree it brought us closer and pushed us further apart. Ours was a long winding journey of TTC for a few years, fertility treatments, successful IVF, stillbirth, and finally the birth of our healthy LO. It's been exhausting and very trying on our marriage. The thing that has helped the most is counseling, both individually and together. It gave us a better understanding of what the other person is going through and really opened up the lines of communication.

Similar to what others have mentioned. It has both brought us closer together but also challenged us at times. Generally DH is extremely laid back and I need to control things which has caused us to conflict on what the next steps in the process should be how agressively we want to persue treatment.
On the flip side during our most recent IUI cycle he was so great and when it didn't work he was very supportive and reassuring. He is so confident that we will get pregnant. I'm really lucky to have found such a good guy who knows how to put up with my special brand of "crazy"!