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I'm not sure what my mom's plan is, exactly--but I know she has a plan. All of my grandparents lived into their 90's and stayed at home until they died---but they did have night nurses and children nearby to check up on them during the day.

I think my mom would like that.....but I would be fine with her moving in with us (one day--we have no space now!)

DH's parents are immigrating to Canada this year, where his sister lives--so as long as they are both alive, I imagine they'd stay in their house and DH's sister would check up on them, with night or day nurses as needed. BUT if Dh's dad passed away much earlier, I already know that my MIL would have to live with either DH and I or his sister and her husband. She would never be able to live alone==she doesn't really drive and is much less independent here (they immigrated to the US 10 years ago). Honestly, if we had the space, my husband would love that. He's a total momma's boy.

@regberadaisy: nope! White american. DH is south asian though. But in this regard, we are totally on the same page. I've never had a grandparent,great aunt/uncle or anyone in my family live in a nursing home, and I just wouldn't want that for my mom anyway (my dad already passed away from cancer).

FIL is 88 and has a live in caregiver. That woman is a saint because he can be quite ornery.
MIL is on her own.
My parents are welcome in our house until the point they need nursing care and then we will reevaluate.

Hmmm, I don't know what will end up happening. My parents are only just turning 60 so we have a while before we have to worry about it. Both of their mothers have lived in an assisted living/retirement community so I think they'd be open to that option if there was a need, but we are still a ways off from that. My brother lives in our hometown still and my sister is only an hour away so they also will be able to help out and keep an eye on things as long as my parents are still living there.

My MIL lives on her own now and is mostly self sufficient, but as she ages I do worry about her since she is 4 hours away from us and DH is her only child. We already have to help out with bigger things around her house a few times a year and I know it will only increase. I'm hoping she will be open to moving into a retirement/assisted living community closer to us down the road, but as long as she's comfortable on her own we aren't worrying about it. I'd lose my mind if she lived with us, and we don't have the space, so that's definitely off the table.

our parents are still very active and just shy of 60, so it will be a while yet, but we are open to either my parents or inlaws living with us one day. dh is caucasian and says that his parents will probably not want to, but my parents are asian and may want to one day. i have one brother, and he has 2 other siblings.

i'm watching my mom and dad deal with helping their parents (my elderly grandparents) with their illnesses and living situations right now, and even though each of their familes have 5+ siblings, it's still difficult at times, and everyone has to help out. this is one BIG reason why dh and i are planning to have at least 4 kids!

This makes me so glad all of our parents are 49-51 years old!

If they needed us to, we would probably move and have whoever needed to just come live with us. Luckily, my sister and DH's sister live in town so it would be split between 3 families.

My parents are still very young and active, so we shouldn't need to make plans for them for a while. DH's parents aren't in the best health, and they're older. We've talked about it a little with DH's sister, and I think they're operating under the assumption that we'll move back home... Which is not part of our plan at this point.

We're going to do what we can to keep them out of a nursing facility. It will probably mean we make extended visits to the ones who are further away, and maybe even live with them for a while. I know at least two of them would never agree to a nursing facility, and I will do everything I can to honor their wishes.

My husband and I had this conversation already. We know for sure that we would be the ones to take care of his parents since he is their only son and that is the expectation. His father is 70 but no way near retirement yet, refuses to retire. And his mom is in her mid-60s, still very healthy and volunteers her time daily at a Buddhist temple. Our plan is to have them come live with us when the time comes and they are unable to take care of themselves. I think we still have a good 10 years before that will happen since both of them are in good health and are very independent.

Well I'm an only child and my parents are deceased but we did take care of my dad when he was in hospice with cancer. Not sure what will happen with my ILs because they have three kids and we leave farthest away ( only 30 mins). But they aren't even 50 yet so it's a ways away.

Our parents (either side) will live with us. No question about it. We decided we would not send them to a nursing home or have them live alone.