Hellobee Boards

I think you are seriously exhausted. You need to make sleep a priority, your body needs it. I feel that way after I have had a couple of night shifts in a row. Anything can make me cry/get upset.

Silly question, do you see a councelor for your anxiety?

Don't be sorry!

I have a history of depression and anxiety. I have severe generalized and social anxiety and a couple of years ago, it got so bad that I was crawling out of my skin. I couldn't socialize. I couldn't bear going to the store because the checkout people would try to make small talk. I couldn't even be around my (then) fiance or our new dog. It was AWFUL. I'm well acquainted with the dark thoughts. I have a spiritual life that I pursue and I couldn't even do that. And everybody in my life was telling me to just pray and meditate and it would get better. And it wasn't, and I thought, great, I can't even do that right.

I had been seeing a therapist because I didn't want to get back on meds (long story, but I had been on meds a few years back and had a terrible experience with one particular antidepressant and was really afraid of that happening again, and felt like it was "giving up") but then finally I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't function. So I started seeing a psychiatrist and we decided to try Lamictal and Wellbutrin.

I think that, at first, we tried Lamictal alone, and it helped, and then we had to increase the dosage a few times, and then back down and add Wellbutrin. It took a few tries, in other words, to find something that fit. I cannot take traditional anti-anxiety drugs for a few reasons (like benzos -- Xanax, etc.) and my personal opinion is that they're not the best long-term solution for somebody with prolonged and generalized anxiety issues. There are antidepressants and mood stabilizers with anti-anxiety properties. Sometimes it just takes some experimentation, as crazy as that sounds, to get the right formula. I ended up on very low doses of Lamictal and Wellbutrin and they worked great. I had to get off them once I became pregnant, but so far everything has been OK. My doctor did say that once you're on medications for 12 months, there is a better chance of stability once you're off of them, so I did manage to stay on them longer than that before I had to get off.

People always would give me advice like taking deep breaths, visualization, meditating, doing something calming, changing my diet, whatever. But I couldn't even drive 20 minutes to work without flipping out. None of that stuff worked for me. In my particular case, I had to try some meds that did work.

Not saying at all that's what you have to do! You'll probably get some alternative advice, too. Lots of stuff works for lots of different people! This is just what worked for me.

Good luck, I know how awful it is!

Are you currently taking any medications for your anxiety? I know you said "pills don't work" but I hope there is some kind of combination of medication and therapy out there that can help you. Maybe you just haven't found the perfect combo yet?

Have you used any of Jon Kabat Zinn's tools? I swear his approach to anxiety was life changing for me. I found a therapist that specialized in his approach and within a year my anxiety was way in the background of my life.

http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&page=1&rh=n%3A11128%2Cp_lbr_one_browse-bin%3AJon%20Kabat-Zinn

@anonysquire: Boo. Do you know anybody in the know who can recommend somebody? Asking around can help. If you have health insurance, what I did was get a list of doctors covered by my plan who were within my geographic area and then looked them up on Google to see if there were any reviews or anything on Healthgrades. It's kind of a crap shoot, but there is bound to be a good fit out there for you.