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So, recess! Thank you to everyone that commented and asked questions.
The district policy is 25 minutes for recess, it is right after lunch, so around noon. I think I need to find out what the cold weather policy is, there is a playground and a fenced in field, both are uncovered. There is a gym, but it is also the cafeteria for now (this issue will go away in a few years, but my son will be older and it won't be such a big deal that he has gross motor play).
I have been trying to have him run around in the morning at the drop off line, he loves that, and the kids get those wiggles out. Then during the day they do brain breaks and use go noodle to move around between blocks of time.
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Oh, and I ran out of time on the letters being formed backwards.
I was concerned that they were a marker for dyslexia, but that doesn't seem to be the case any more, so I really just let it be. Right now, my son forms the letters correctly most of the time, but I do notice when he gets to the end of the work, he gets tired and makes more mistakes.
If I were to reinforce the learning at home, I'd probably do some play where my son could say, form play dough on letter mats. He's very visual and tactical, so it would be a perfect activity for him.
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My DD had some letter reversals for about two months. It was after she had been doing it correctly and came out of nowhere. I was concerned and just taught her to check her work and made a few visual and sound memory things for b and d and p. I don't think that really changed. Just gave time and it clicked. It must be completely normal at this stage. LO got a note from a girl the other week that had dff written all over it. I told her it must stand for 'dear friend forever.'
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I forgot to update...re: PTA. I've passed on all the ideas I gathered from here, plus everything I researched on my own.
@MamaG: The city has a website for all the PTAs that is somewhat helpful, so I referenced that as well. Essentially, everything is in progress and we are working on setting it up better from the get-go for next year. I've been going to the school more often (although it is still far from welcoming) but at this point something is better than nothing, so there's that. -
@looch: We have the same problem. Every time they miss recess I have a crazy kid in the afternoon. This is actually the issue I am pushing the school on the most. As of right now, if they can't go outside they go to the auditorium to watch a movie.
My top priority for next year is figuring out a place for indoor recess! We also had parent conferences. LO is doing great! I feel some mom guilt for not practicing with him more, so I've been trying to do that a bit more on the weekend. Then again, we are prioritizing other things so I think it's ok. Ah! parenting!
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@T.H.O.U.: My LO has the same reversals for numbers/letters. It rubs me the wrong way that the teacher is marking it wrong...If I remember, she's new? I would casually point it out to her.
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@Baby Boy Mom: Yes, that's going to be my focus as well, but the thing is next year is actually going to be worse because there will be construction going on!
I can't believe the year is winding down. I am happy and sad at the same time.
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I went to our administration for the first time this week. LO has been getting notes home for a week about how she's "following the questionable or poor behavior of her peers" We've been asked to discuss with her at home and encourage her to make her own good choices. We were talking constantly and the notes keep on coming. I asked the counselor for help. The counselor acted swiftly and met with LO and had a discussion with her. The counselor was also highly empathetic to my concerns and assured me that it's not abnormal what we are going through. She believes it's mostly maturity and learning how to pick friends carefully.
I'm mostly glad that the administration acted so quickly and didn't minimize my request. Mostly I wanted reassurance that my kid isn't the class punk and that maybe another adult voice would get her attention.
LO also just moved up another level of reader. She's now at her personal year-end goal and we have about 7.5 weeks left.
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@MamaG: that's awesome - I love having a supportive school system!!
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@MamaG: That's great!
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@MamaG: I love counselors!They are the best-first step as they know the school culture and can 'follow' your kid. So good to hear you were met with understanding.
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@MamaG: Wow! I'm actually glad to hear this because I was toying with the idea of requesting a guidance meeting. I know my daughter really likes/respects the guidance counselor and I think hearing it from her might sink in better. But I also dont want my daughter labeled (although maybe she already is?)
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@T.H.O.U.: labeled by whom? I think the kids are too self absorbed at this age to realize someone was taken out of the class. It felt very empowering to advocate for my kid and get a great response. It may help that I connected with our counselor early on. We have a friend in common, who is also a counselor. Our counselor also has a child in Kinder at our school who is two days different in age from my LO.
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@MamaG: Labeled by the leadership. That she's the bad kid or the punk kid that can't follow rules or needs medication or something. Maybe I'm being crazy.
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@T.H.O.U.: hmm. What's more important her being labeled or her getting help? Hopefully the admin is doing the job for the right reasons and can rise above labeling a student that is being advocated for by their concerned parent.
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@T.H.O.U.: That's what they're there for, to help! Trust me, I have had some issues with my son in his school and the admin is there to problem solve, not label.
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You guys are so lucky to get support from the school. At my sons first report card and parent teacher conference we were asked to investigate autism. That was like November. We went to the pediatrician, then to the regional center, finally got the evaluation on Monday. Yeah like 5 months. Got the diagnosis of asd and let the principal know and surprise! They have a school phsychologist. Yet 5 months ago they only had speech therapy.
They sent home a parent survey and yeah it was all negative for me. But the daycare is too good to give up. It is free from 7 am to 6 pm. And now they can't kick him out for his autistic behaviors.
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MY DS1 just got a 504 plan for his sensory issues. Perhaps that's an option for you? In most places, all it takes is a pediatrician's diagnosis. Kindergarten has been rough, but since he began receiving accomodations, it's SO MUCH BETTER. They are currently testing him for the gifted program, too.
School psychologists cannot make ASD diagnoses, btw, and they don't see kids for therapy. Their purpose is testing for special ed programs, suggesting classroom interventions, and for interpreting test scores of children with disabilities.
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@brownie: I don't think it's luck, to be honest (and I don't really want to get too into detail) but the school was very open and honest about the resources that are available. From the very first day, we knew there was a speech therapist, an ELL teacher, a sped teacher, a psychologist, etc. We didn't have a need to engage any of them until recently because of some behavior that my son was exhibiting (relating to being aggressive) and one of my school mom friends nudged me to talk to the psychologist and it's been nothing but great.
I find with formal diagnosis, it's really process of elimination. They don't know what it is at first, but they know what it isn't and off they go down the checklist.
tlynne: actually my son does see the psych for therapy. he is working on making better choices and controlling his first reactions and he is seeing her for a 6 week program.
@thou: labeled as what? I hate to say it but the kids are already labeled. It's the quiet kids, the troublemakers, the cry babies, etc....it's human nature to group. Having a kid that receives services is not easy, but it's not meant to isolate, it's done in the spirit of inclusion!
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@T.H.O.U.: On the other hand, you might be surprised by the level of support you receive. It was hard for me to decide to intervene for my son, but I'm very glad that I did. I don't think I could keep my child at a school where I felt that he was treated "less than"...which is what I feel when I read about kids being labeled.
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@looch: yeah we tried in preschool with the school district and he was "too smart to have friends". So the school district wasn't an option. So we picked a charter school. And to be honest none of the district schools had an after school program we could use (pick up by 5 pm). It is more his horrible teacher who tells me for months there are no issues (only when I instigate conversation first) then says at the report card "he did this and this and this"... He wasn't just fine lady. She's the one who said the school didn't do anything but speech. He isn't a behavior problem and he is super smart. So, he isn't "bad" enough for them try harder.
@tlynne: a ped would be a great idea. We couldn't get him into one. Seriously, the only reason my daughter had a ped was because she was hospitalized at 6 months (after 3 months of not being able to find one) and they forced a ped to take her. That ped got a new dr and so I moved my son to them. New dr has left and I'm stuck with useless who didn't want my kids in the first place.
My goal is a 504, but the evaluator thinks he could improve with ot, pt, Aba, and speech. So we are going to shoot for the stars and see what happens. But the original goal was a 504.
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Thanks everyone.
Just after winter break we really struggled with her behavior. It was like 2-3 days a week we were getting notes home. Part of that was I returned to work and she started after school program making her days very long (7:45-5:00). Right before spring break we had a big issue come up. I think she had a lot of trouble focusing, trouble controlling her emotions/feelings, and in general learning how to make new friends. We grounded her one night (she went to her room alone after school) and she really seemed to get the message that notes home were serious. I talked to the teacher and we discussed calling a meeting with guidance but decided not to due to spring break.
Things after spring break have been much better. Of course though her 9 week report card had lots of notes from the teacher and principal about how she needed to do better following the rules. It breaks my heart. I know she's such a sweet sweet girl.
My biggest reason for maybe wanting to go to guidance is to talk to them about selection of her teacher for next year. This year she was stuck with a first year teacher who was very soft spoken and sweet. I feel she really needs someone who is strong and firm and yet still loving. My daughter responds really well to rules if she knows you're serious. I think this first year teacher just had a lot to learn when they started.
I know what we are going through is the realm of "normal" and she doesn't have anything that needs a diagnosis. But I want better next year (for her and from her).
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@T.H.O.U.: If it makes you feel any better, about a month ago, the principal called me to come pick my son up because he really just couldn't get it together that day. And I took him home and we talked.
We had a meeting at the school the following week and the teacher said that she really thought the act of sending him home proved it was a serious thing that the school didn't just ignore things and that his behavior has been better since then.
It's all normal in the realm of things. But that doesn't mean it doesn't suck to get those phone calls and notes home!
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@looch: Wow! I dont think she's been sent to the principals office although it has to have been a threat because Ive heard her talk at home about it. I have received calls from the teacher mid-day which she knows about. The teacher has also told her if it gets bad DD will have to call me.
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@T.H.O.U.: Yep, we have a very clear policy about how issues are escalated. You get three tries and then you go to the principals' office unless you do something physically aggressive to another kid, then you go directly to the principal (everyone involved goes).
It's not easy to have a kid that doesn't follow the rules, but then again, this is the place where they have to learn these things. If we all had kids that knew exactly what to do at all times, what would be the purpose of school?
I think the worst thing I could do is just to say "kids will be kids" and not address it. By going to the school, I underlined my commitment to solving the issue, with whatever means the school has. And believe me, they are happy to help. It benefits everyone.
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@T.H.O.U.: Reach out to the counselor and/or principal.
My girl has had very few weeks without at least one note coming home. It might be "oops, difficulty listening" or "oops, didn't line up at recess" or "oops, making too much noise in the hallway". Nothing that's totally horrendous but calls to attention that she's not 100% following the rules. I volunteer in her class once per month. I see that she is NOT the only one with these issues it's probably half the class. We get report cards every six weeks. She's meeting or exceeding expectations for everything except these things, which are termed "characteristics of successful learners". She's been marked as "making progress" since the start of school on 1) follows directions consistently, 2) listens and participates appropriately, 3) uses time wisely/stays on task 4) respects and cooperates with peers.
Her teacher was clear with me at her 6 week conference that she expects these things to be problematic until about 2nd grade because she barely makes the birthday cutoff for her school. I can live with it, though it's sometimes frustrating.
I just reached a breaking point this week with the theme of she's being a follower and following is getting her in trouble. My girl is a natural born bossy leader. It's not her norm. She's picking the wrong friends. And it needs to turn around. She really needed another adult to help her, and it has! She also came home to tell me yesterday she made a new friend. This girl is in her class and has been since August. She's a quiet kid. My girl finally sought her out and is trying to make different friends rather than running with the high spirited, rambunctious crowd. The counselor helped with this.
She was also rewarded for her improved behavior and got to be the teachers helper for the day.
I think it's wise to talk about teacher selection. Make sure they have a better feel for what your child needs. I'm very much a believer that if don't advocate for our kids, who will?
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@MamaG: Yes, we do need to advocate for our children, but we shouldn't be getting involved in social engineering. It kind of stings that you wrote that your daughter wasn't picking the right friends, and was rather following the rambunctious kids...I know you don't mean my kid personally, but do you see how that is part of the problem?
Maybe you disagree, and that's fine, but my view is that the class is only as strong as the weakest link. Everyone does better when they help each other, not isolate the kids that have problems.
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@looch: Wow. See I think that is what was missing with our teacher this year. I finally had her spell out the "process" because its so complicated. Half the time my DD didn't even know if she got a note home or a smily face. There are 6 rules they need to follow.
- Teacher warns they are not following a rule
- They have to go to the board and point to the rule they are not following (I think only if time permits)
- Name on the board and loose 5 min recess
- From there Im not sure how it escalates. -
@T.H.O.U.: Okay, ours is simpler.
If you are having trouble:
1. Teacher explains what was the issue and you get a second attempt. You can choose to sit at your space or go to another area in the room. You get one minute off recess equal to the time you caused the distraction.
2. Then if you do it again, you go to the partner classroom. The thought is that a change of scenery will "reset" the kids. You still get time off recess.
3. If you do it again, you go the principal's office to explain what happened, with a teacher or paraprofessional. The principal decides what happens from there. It usually means that you sit in a room off the principal's office and complete worksheets instead of recess. -
@looch: I didn't mean to offend, sincerely. My kid is rambunctious! Gathering with others like herself is leading to trouble for her. We are encouraging her to seek other friends. To seek out other students. It's okay to be friends with these people, it's not okay to get consistently in trouble because of what happens when she is with them. And I'm not okay with her blaming others. Susie Q made me do it, or Susie Q was doing it too. My expectation is that she's in control of her choices and her choices need to lead her to success. We are trying to help her navigate the decision making process.
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@MamaG: I think we're in agreement then. I think it's important for my son to learn how to deal with everyone in the class, even the kids that get into trouble. He needs to see that there are consequences for his actions and more importantly, that he doesn't have to follow the group or the leader if they are doing something he feels uncomfortable with.
I tell my son that he will be judged based on his worst behavior, not the good things he does. As an example, he befriended a girl that came to the class and spoke no English. The girls in class make fun of her, but my son sought out the help of another classmate to act as a translator. When he sees her in the morning at drop off, he runs over and hugs her.
On the other hand, he doesn't get along with one boy in his class that has some behavior problems and constantly is in my son's face. So my son pushed him and now we're dealing with the repercussions of that. As I explained to him, all the good stuff he did with the other girl is overshadowed by what happened with the boy in his class.
Hopefully, that message is what is getting through!
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@brownie: It's your legal right as a parent to insist on a 504 evaluation or to have the school evaluate for special education/IEP. IEPs and 504s are for diagnosed disabilities (like autism). If the school is providing all of these services already (ot, aba, etc), your child should ABSOLUTELY be on one of these plans. The plans are a legal document that require school employees to provide certain accommodations/services. DS1 has a 504 for sensory integration disorder. DS2 will have an IEP for CP. The type of plan you get depends on the type of disability and type of interventions/resources needed. This is what I had to go to the school and do. Everyone said DS1 'would be just fine' because he's gifted. The reality is that he was crying every day, begging for help because school was going poorly.
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When you call the school to request a 504 plan, you are meeting with a team where you will all share observations/data, recommend and document appropriate accommodations and services to help your child. It is something that can be initiated by the school but usually by the parent. If you say the term 504, it clarifies that you are aiming for administrative involvement for support in and beyond the classroom. If the parents usually just say something vague like 'my child needs help' to the classroom teacher, it may not get the ball rolling if unclear. If you say I want a 504 or testing/evaluations to be done, it usually starts a timeline (not sure if it is state or federal mandate) that gets everyone's schedules syncing up. One thing I really like about 504s is that the plan passes up with information to set up the next year's teacher well. Try not to start the process more than two months before the school year ends because scheduling testing dates becomes difficult as summer approaches.
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@T.H.O.U.: Bless her heart. I can sympathize with the notes home, which were constant for DS1 from the beginning of the school year until the end of February. It helped that his dad is a teacher in the same school, so I didn't catch the brunt of everything going on. We really had to work on separating the behaviors he could control with the behaviors that were related to his SID. But you're right that a lot of behavior issues are unique to Kindergarten because the kids are going through so much developmentally.
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@T.H.O.U.: LOL...with no visits to principal, you're doing a lot better than us! Since his dad is in the building, he's had to go to his dad's classroom a couple times, he's seen the counselor, assistant principal, and principal a number of times. It was a sad day when he came home from school and told me that when he gets put out of class, his favorite places to go are Ms. C's room or ISS.
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@808love: Yes - thank you for clarifying this!
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So this is all really interesting to read about the notes home. We pretty much have no communication from the teacher unless I initiate it. In general, I think my DD's behavior at school is pretty good (I mentioned before that she's more of a rule-follower--at least at school!), but I happened to email her teacher this week just to check in. We haven't had formal conferences since Nov and report cards are every 9 weeks. Her teacher replied and said she's doing great but sometimes she doesn't want to read aloud in her reading group. What she didn't tell me was that DD had to walk laps at recess this week because of her refusal to read. DD happened to mention it when I talked to her about why it's important to read aloud in her reading group. She said it's the first time she's had to do it this year. On one hand, I really don't think it's a big deal that it happened, but on the other hand, is it odd that her teacher didn't mention it?
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@Pancakes: considering I used to get calls from the teacher that my son would smush the tips in of her markers, I guess it's weird she didn't call....I would like to know.
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@Pancakes: It sounds like it was handled at school and it wasn't really punishment, just a choice she made (either you read or you walk laps).
If you want to be more aware of those things just ask! However I will say that things like our "notes home" is really just a little one line note that says "Had trouble following rules today" or "Couldn't keep our hands to ourself today". Which is frustrating to me because it doesn't really tell me anything. Like when did this happen, was she already punished for it? Is there more to the story?
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My husband found this meme today and it's so true for our Kinder girl. I bet there are a few of you that can relate.
My top priority for next year is figuring out a place for indoor recess! 
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