Hellobee Boards

I kind of felt like that after losing S. I didn't seem to have a place for a while, since nothing really seemed to be relevant to me.

I'm feeling you.

I starting to feel like a bit of a whiner. I even though we are 10 cycles of TTCing ... a lot of that was NTNP because I wasn't really keeping track some of the months when I should have since I have wonky cycles. So really it was bad timing usually. But each time AF comes I'm still really really said and I get into this mode (which is happening right now) where I think we will never have a second kid and LO will be all alone when we die (which is not true he will probably get married right?) I don't think we have infertility issues (yet!), just bad timing.

I'm really kicking myself. I feel really lame sometimes because I think this would be easier if this was our first kid because every month that passes makes me even more sad that our kids will be farther apart and won't be close to each other.

I will be the first to admit that most ... if not all these thoughts are crazy to the nth power but I still can't help thinking of them and being sad over it.

When I look on the boards I feel even more bummed out about myself because a ton of ladies struggle with way more than I been through and thus I'm a big whiner.

Sorry for the rambling.

Though I think you will fit in with the 6+ months TTCers... just saying

@swedishfish: I'm sorry you're feeling this way. For what it's worth I think you belong in all of them, and I think you'll be accepted in all of them, but I get what you mean- it's hard not to "really" belong to a group. I haven't shared your struggles, so I can't say I understand it the way you do, but I will say I don't think you're the only one without a group.

We are just entering cycle 1 of ttc baby 2 and so I joined may's poas. But honestly I don't feel like I belong there because I'm just taking things as they come... I find it much more appealing after struggling through my lo's first six months or so. I just want to focus on the big picture of raising 2..though I know that will change if we experience IF.

Sometimes I feel like I don't belong on hb at all because I'm not a "baby person." I really don't think a lot of people "get" wanting to have another kid while not really looking forward to having a newborn again, at least not in the ttc world. And I honestly think that people reading this, at least in the back of their minds, equate not liking the baby stage to not loving my LO as much as I should.

So no, you aren't alone! Everything can be so black and white in the internet world. There's no way to see the nuances in people's lives.

I have one ivf baby and two failed fet(chemical pregnancy). And yeah I don't fit anywhere either.

@swedishfish: Hug!

Hi friend. So sorry you feel this way. I think you can join any darn board that you want!!!

@swedishfish: I am here!!!!! I am a great listner!!!!! Wall me anytime!!!!!!!!!!

hi i have one ivf baby and will be trying for a second in about 9 months or earliet!

@swedishfish: yeah no second take home at this time. We are investigating other options that I don't feel comfortable talking about. I worry about the judgement. Thus I have been avoiding the ivf threads and groups.

@swedishfish: I feel you too. Trying for number two for 8 months new - dealt with a miscarraige, finally AF is back and now 2 cycles with no BFPs. But lucky to have my first, and just sad each month that LOs will be further apart in age. It's hard. Just wanted to know I feel for you. xo

One of my favorite things about this community is how positive and accepting it is. Sometimes I feel funny being here since we don't have kids yet, not pregnant, just TTC#1 and feeling like it is never going to happen, and I have never received anything but welcoming.

@swedishfish: Glad to have found someone to relate to.. I think part of it is that many of the ttc crowd are ttc#1 and that has a different sort of excitement to it. I hope you are at least comforted from this thread knowing you aren't the only one!

I think most people dealing with IF feel this a little bit. Its because IF isn't just one straightforward issue with clear boundaries and definitions. How long do you have to be trying before you're classed as having IF? Do you have to have specific issues? Do you have to be pursuing treatments? What about secondary IF - are you less deserving of support if you already have a LO? Of course, the truth is, TTC can be brutal and never more so than when its just not happening. In those times, all we can do is support each other, commiserate together and join in hope. You fit in on all of those boards and more. Wishing you all the in the world Swedishfish.

I don't share your issue, but as a 42 year old woman with two kids who wants another, but doesn't have time or a partner on the same page right now, I definitely feel like I don't fit in! We probably would need to either adopt or do IVF at this point (given my age) and there's a lot of commitment that goes into either of those paths that require partners to be on the very same page about a child. Because my partner is ambivalent, we won't move ahead. It's not like I could say "oh whoops honey, I accidentally got IVF today!"

@AmeliaBedilia: sounds good! Any ideas on a name?

I kind of feel like this. We are technically NTNP, preparing to TTC in the next month or two. I already know I have PCOS and hypothyroid and have been mentally preparing for years for the likelihood of difficulty TTC, but I'm kind of in limbo right now since I don't know quite what to expect. I'm not ready to POAS but I've been dealing with all the fun of PCOS for 13 years and I'm dreading months' worth of BFN's. I know it's possible to conceive without much difficulty but I'm not optimistic about it.

I think even when we were TTC#1 I felt a little alone because no one was talking about DOR or failed IVF here and I didn't know where to go with anything. Although I don't wish it on anyone, it's good to see that there's more support for that now. So the best thing you can do is to just start talking about things and eventually the companionship will show up!

I feel very comfortable in the IF board. But in my real life, I'm out of place. My friends either have babies, or are single and wild. I can't keep up! It can feel lonely.