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+Falling for BFPs+

  1. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @PeaceLily: I'm really sorry. Acceptance is such a big part of the struggle, and especially accepting the uncertainty and all the anxiety provoking unknowns...

  2. mrskansas

    nectarine / 2813 posts

    10 dpo and a negative. Pretty sure I'm out. I feel like an idiot for spending so much money when I knew it wouldn't work

  3. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6060 posts

    @mrskansas: I’m so sorry

  4. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @mrskansas: You definitely aren't an idiot. You just want another baby. I am so, so sorry.

  5. PeaceLily

    apricot / 360 posts

    @mrskansas: I'm so sorry. Please don't feel like an idiot. I would test again tomorrow since 10dpo is still a bit early.

    It's so disappointing when fertility treatments don't work. I was a mess when my first IUI failed since I was so sure it would work. I wasn't expecting the 2nd one to work (1 egg and thinner lining than usual) but we had high hopes for this one so I'll be crushed if it's a negative. It's really such an emotional rollercoaster.

  6. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @mrskansas: You are not an idiot. TTC is a constant game of rolling the dice, and it absolutely sucks when the odds are stacked against you. You did exactly what you should have to give it the best shot possible. Also 10dpo is early, I know everyone is different but I never got a bfp that early... Thinking of you

  7. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @peacelily: holding out hope for you!

  8. PeaceLily

    apricot / 360 posts

    @crazydoglady: Thank you! I'm not feeling overly optimistic, but I didn't have period cramps today so that was nice at least. I'm sure they'll be back.

    The only thing out of the ordinary right now is horrific breakouts. I generally have bad skin and always have some degree of acne, but this tww has been horrible with new pimples everyday. I'm guessing it's the femara. With my first 2 IUIs my skin actually cleared up while taking progesterone, but it's been the exact opposite this month. It's making me super self conscious.

  9. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @PeaceLily: is this your first month on femara? I hope the problem skin means something is going on! When is AF due?

  10. PeaceLily

    apricot / 360 posts

    @crazydoglady: Yup, this is my first time on femara. I've been on clomid before. AF is due on Monday, but I don't get it while on progesterone, so it will be held off for a bit.

  11. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @PeaceLily: Any update? I am actually going to see about switching from femara to clomid (or a higher dosage of femara..)

  12. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @LabradorLover: Hey, lady! How are you doing?
    Also, what meds did you use for your iui?

  13. Marfi

    clementine / 794 posts

    @mrskansas: So sorry hun I totally know how you feel, hubs and I did 3 out of pocket IUIs knowing that there was a less than 5% chance of it working for us because we didn't want to wait until January for IVF. Don't get down on yourself!

  14. PeaceLily

    apricot / 360 posts

    @crazydoglady: Nothing new to report on my end. I really have no idea what's going on in my body right now.

    I was on 50mg of clomid twice and only produced 1 egg both times which was disappointing, but I had 2 eggs on 5mg of femara. I was glad they gave me 5mg instead of 2.5.

  15. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @PeaceLily: Maybe that's something to discuss with my doctor. I really liked that I had no symptoms on femara but I was only on 2.5 mg.

    And I hear ya. I'm 14 dpo and waiting for the tell-tale sign of AF coming.

  16. PeaceLily

    apricot / 360 posts

    @crazydoglady: Maybe it won't come and you won't have to worry about meds or treatment! Have you tested?

  17. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @PeaceLily: I wish! I'm like you and don't test before AF anymore. It sucks because it makes you hopeful, but I hate looking at tests.

  18. LabradorLover

    kiwi / 548 posts

    @crazydoglady: hey! I’m doing great so far! I was on 5mg of femara for 3 cycles with the Ovidrel shot. This last cycle for the IUI I asked that they increase my femara to 7.5 to see if I would get more follicles or something and I still ended up with 2 but ovulated 2 days earlier than before. Used the Ovidrel shot as well for this time too. Keeping my fingers crossed for you still!

  19. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @LabradorLover: Thanks for the info! If you ovulate on your own, did you just use ovidrel when you got a positive opk? I feek like I would test a million times a day to make sure I didn't miss it!

  20. LabradorLover

    kiwi / 548 posts

    @crazydoglady: femara made me ovulate because I wasn’t doing it, or was doing it super late. I started using opks on day 10 but also was monitored so they could see my follicles and do bloodwork and tell me when to use the Ovidrel.

  21. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @LabradorLover: I gotcha!

  22. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    I just wanted to wish everyone who is closing out 2017 still TTC, a very healthy pregnancy in 2018. 🍀

  23. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    That moment when you are 16 dpo and your husband has a semen analysis the next day...
    (I should say that it's not uncommon for me to have a 15-16 day luteal phase but I usually spot 2-3 days beforehand and haven't this cycle.)

  24. PeaceLily

    apricot / 360 posts

    I broke down and tested today at 14dpo and it was a BFN. We're devastated. This is our 3rd failed IUI and they haven't been able to find any real issue with us.

    My husband was so optimistic and now he's clearly upset and depressed and mentioned wanting to take a 6 month break since this experience has been negatively impacting our lives for so long now. I'm going to keep pushing for tests to figure out our issue, but I think we will at least take a month or two off and see how we feel after that.

  25. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6060 posts

    @PeaceLily: hugs I’m so sorry for this difficult road. Hoping for peace for you while you take a break

  26. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6060 posts

    @crazydoglady: !

  27. mrskansas

    nectarine / 2813 posts

    @PeaceLily: I am so sorry.

  28. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @PeaceLily: I'm so incredibly sorry. I am still very hopeful that it will happen for you, but I am sorry that it continues to be such an ordeal. Take care of yourself. 💕

  29. PeaceLily

    apricot / 360 posts

    @bhbee: @mrskansas: @crazydoglady: Thanks, guys. We were so optimistic cause this was the first IUI where my husband didn't have an e coli infection and hopefully my infection is gone as well, so we figured it had to work. We will probably still do some more IUIs and add in injectables, but it's possible IVF will be an option for us as well. It will be tight financially, but I think we could do it if we needed to. Ugh, this just sucks.

  30. PeaceLily

    apricot / 360 posts

    @mrskansas: How are you doing?

  31. mrskansas

    nectarine / 2813 posts

    @PeaceLily: I'm hanging in there... I got my period yesterday. We are not doing any treatment going forward since I feel awful for spending $1000 last cycle for nothing. It sucks. The past few days have been emotionally exhausting

  32. PeaceLily

    apricot / 360 posts

    @mrskansas: I'm so sorry. I'm hopeful things will work naturally for you if you continue to try. I understand about not wanting to pay for another iui.

    This whole process is emotionally exhausting and really just takes a toll on all areas of your life. I just spent hours in bed upset. If we weren't going through this and weren't trying to conceive we would have made plans to do something nice today, but instead we are both laying around the house defeated and depressed. It's sad this is what my life has come to.

  33. LabradorLover

    kiwi / 548 posts

    @mrskansas: @PeaceLily: I'm so sorry for both of you. Take whatever time you need to be upset and know we are all here for you both!

  34. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6060 posts

    @crazydoglady: thinking of you!!

  35. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @bhbee: Thanks! I still haven't tested...currently 17 dpo with no AF or spotting. DH pushed back his SA until Thursday in case I am pregnant.

  36. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    So... I am legit shaking.

  37. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @crazydoglady: OMG, so many congrats!!!!!!! I always love seeing bfps, but on this board especially!!!

  38. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @PeaceLily: I'm so sorry I know this must be so frustrating and disappointing, but definitely don't give up hope for the next couple of IUIs. Even in super-fertile women, only about a third of eggs are viable, so it's very possible that treating the infections did indeed fix the problem and now it's just a matter of playing the numbers game until a good egg comes around. Keeping my fingers crossed that this is the case and that it will work out very soon.

  39. PeaceLily

    apricot / 360 posts

    @crazydoglady: Congrats!

  40. PeaceLily

    apricot / 360 posts

    @periwinklebee: Thank you.

    You're right, we have to remember that this was really our first real chance in months due to our stupid infections. I'm hopeful something will work over the next few months, but I'm looking forward to taking this month off. We are going to look into therapy for both of us and I'm going to try to get back on xanax or an anti depressant. I've been ignoring my anxiety/depression for too long and I think it's time to seek help. Id rather focus on us right now and our health and well being before ttc again.

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